GoFundMe Campaign for CP Member - Children Stuck in Australia in Custody Battle

[Hockeyguy15]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

Cool man.

Let us know who much you contribute to the cause!

You know it's possible to not contribute and still think you are being a tool?

[Ducay]

I didn't read the GoFundMe, but my rule is I generally only donate to ones where you'd helping out a party that can't help themselves (orphaned kids, disabling injury occured). Otherwise where do you draw the line? There are millions of sob story's on there (not taking away from them being ####ty), but it seems to be turning into everyone's first option to try and crowd-source away their unexpected expenses. You can't help them all, and there are a tonne of charities out there dying for more funding who are helping those who can't/don't have a GoFundMe.

If I wrote up the story for every patient at the local brain injury rehab centre I volunteer at, most of these GoFundMe's wouldn't even hold a candle to how sad and terrible they are. Instead, I donate to the UnitedWay that helps those that need helping.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

Cool man.

Let us know who much you contribute to the cause!

Will we donate to the "I can't raise my 4 kids on my service job income" GoFund me as well?

Gross.

[afc wimbledon]

I hate the go fund me thing in general, not that they arnt deserving but how do you know? its the internet equivalent of 'My car broke down, can you spare a couple of bucks for a cab so I can get home to my kids?' story that some woman hits me up with outside Safeway every three or four months.
When I pointed out her car was breaking down more often than a 1970's Vauxhall Viva and I thought her story was full of crap she told me to go eff myself!!

[cracher]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

I'm going to be a bit of a dick as well here but I see no more reason that they should live in Canada than in Australia, assuming both parents are equally good or bad.

As a divorced dad it pisses me off that the assumption is the mum is the best place for the kids and dad can go pound salt. I am not unsympathetic to the pain this causes FirstLady, but taking the kids away from the dad causes him just as much pain.

This nails it. You are not being a dick at all. One side of the story is simply not enough to go on in a custody situation. All the best to the kids. Who would enjoy being the subject of an international tug-of-war?

[Sliver]

It's not clear to me how you'd be able to show up in Australia, grab four kids from the parent they've been living with for over a year (one of whom isn't even a Canadian!) and fly them back to Calgary over the span of a day or two.

I understand if you can't divulge all the details, but I don't think anybody should donate anything based on the information you've posted. There is no way for us to know where the kids should be, but the plan as presented is over priced and seems ill conceived.

First Lady - have you spoken with your bank? I noticed in your post history you are a homeowner (or were in 2013, anyway). Do you have any equity in the house you could access as a line of credit or something to take care of this familial issue yourselves? Any RRSPs you could cash in? Any savings at all? An extra car you could sell?

If you're asking the public for money, I think you should be willing to answer the question, "well how much do you have?" before I cough up any of my own money.

[JiriHrdina]

Are the agencies involved suggesting that a trip down will help or expedite things? What is their advice?

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by cracher

This nails it. You are not being a dick at all. One side of the story is simply not enough to go on in a custody situation. All the best to the kids. Who would enjoy being the subject of an international tug-of-war?

Except I am still being a dick because Firstlady, even if she's a terrible parent and the kids should stay with dad, is still going through hell.

It doesn't alter the need for asking legitimate questions, but we all need to keep in our minds that she is going through the worst time in her life and I'm sure cries herself to sleep at night missing her kids.

[Ozy_Flame]

Isnt it her grandkids, not her kids?

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

Isnt it her grandkids, not her kids?

I think its Grandma asking for Firstlady

[JiriHrdina]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

I think its Grandma asking for Firstlady

No it is Firstlady's daughter's kids.

[Hockeyguy15]

Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn!

[Stealth22]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

Are the agencies involved suggesting that a trip down will help or expedite things? What is their advice?

Exactly what I was asking in my post on the very first page.

I'm not going to get into who is "right", or who the kids should stay with, because frankly, that is none of my, or anyone else's business.

What I am asking is, what's the benefit of going?

Generally speaking, not specifically in regards to this situation, this plan doesn't sound very solid to me. If 'Parent A' has the kids in a far away country, and 'Parent B' wants to fly there, pick up the kids and come back right away when 'Parent A' doesn't want that to happen...how exactly is that...possible?

Look, I'm not saying people should or shouldn't donate, or that she should or shouldn't fly there. As I said, none of anyone's business. But like someone said previously, is it 'unable', or 'unwilling'?

'Unable' would mean a serious financial burden on both parties.

'Unwilling', on the other hand...well, how would one expect to fly there and come back in the span of a week, let alone a day? Even with the assistance of local law enforcement, this sort of matter could take months to solve. Is there much point to raising thousands of dollars for flight tickets that may go to waste?

Perhaps this person should raise money for a single one-way ticket, seek assistance from local law/consular agencies, while raising the remainder of the funds.

I just hope the kids turn out okay in all of this.

[Wastedyouth]

They are reaching out to a community she was part of for a long time. You don't have to donate. And you definitely don't have to comment.

I don't understand the jackassery in this thread.

[PsYcNeT]

Being part of a community of a long time doesn't necessarily endear you to it. Also public forum etc. etc.

Honestly, you really can't give too much information and background in cases like this, or at minimum you should divulge as much as is going to get you the most money. Withholding information just gets the comment chain we're already seeing here.

[woob]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

When I pointed out her car was breaking down more often than a 1970's Vauxhall Viva

I have nothing to add to this thread other than I lol'd at this. Thanks afc!

[Iceman90]

I am not trying to be a jackass, but to ask questions that maybe have not been considered by the person looking for help. Sometimes we all need to have an outside perspective on our scenario...and I am also genuinely curious.

Considering Canada and Australia have good diplomatic relations, would it not make sense for the mother contact Australian authorities (child welfare, police, courts, etc. - not sure exactly which agency it'd be but I bet the research could be done from Canada) and present that documentation to show that the kids are to come live in Canada with their mother?

If this person has all their ducks in a row and the paperwork is valid I can't see why the local authorities wouldn't help in this process. It may be a slower process than expected but might yield better (and cheaper) results. Especially if the father is just non compliant in a legal request to send the kids home, local authorities could take some action against him which couldn't be done from Canada.

If the proper authorities were involved they could make sure the children are safely removed from the father's home, probably transported to the local airport, and taken care of while waiting to to meet their mother - or even placed on an airplane by themselves to meet the mother in Canada.

I can understand this person's plan and their reason for thinking that going to retrieve the kids themselves is the best move, but I would urge them to perhaps consider a different tactic.

I can see border and customs officials being suspicious if a single woman (or group of adults) enters Australia, and leaves less than 24 hours later with children. Not saying they'd be stopped and questioned but if they were I bet this could take some explaining.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by Sliver

It's not clear to me how you'd be able to show up in Australia, grab four kids from the parent they've been living with for over a year (one of whom isn't even a Canadian!) and fly them back to Calgary over the span of a day or two.

I understand if you can't divulge all the details, but I don't think anybody should donate anything based on the information you've posted. There is no way for us to know where the kids should be, but the plan as presented is over priced and seems ill conceived.

First Lady - have you spoken with your bank? I noticed in your post history you are a homeowner (or were in 2013, anyway). Do you have any equity in the house you could access as a line of credit or something to take care of this familial issue yourselves? Any RRSPs you could cash in? Any savings at all? An extra car you could sell?

If you're asking the public for money, I think you should be willing to answer the question, "well how much do you have?" before I cough up any of my own money.

You lost me at cash in RRSPs. Eek!

Seriously, I've seen a couple of poorly conceived Go Fund Me requests, including one from a relative of my wife to not be careful and suspicious. I don't see this getting funding here.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by Wastedyouth

They are reaching out to a community she was part of for a long time. You don't have to donate. And you definitely don't have to comment.

I don't understand the jackassery in this thread.

I totally agree. I might be a soft touch, but I generally feel like CP is a community and we generally help people out. I know I have for people on here, and done so for people that I've never met and maybe never will.

I am quite sure that when she did post here, FL and I disagreed on basically everything. I met her a few times through the years and despite us being on opposite ends of the spectrum she was always kind to me. Sometimes adults can disagree on things and not hate each...I know that seems weird to some people!

Anyway, I wish her well. I guess she might not have thought of every little angle and maybe not checked everything before she put out her plea for help, but I don't think that we need to criticize every little thing that someone does or doesn't do.

[calgaryblood]

Originally Posted by Wastedyouth

They are reaching out to a community she was part of for a long time. You don't have to donate. And you definitely don't have to comment.

I don't understand the jackassery in this thread.

I see one total comment that could be considered jackassery and he's still mad someone wished him a happy new year earlier and is in a foul mood.

Every other post has been reasonable questions. If you're going to ask for help, shouldn't we feel right donating? Personally I'm not going to donate because I don't have the whole story and wouldn't feel comfortable contributing to this knowing I could be screwing over a man I don't know and maybe hasn't done anything wrong.