To quote Costanza, if you believe it, it's not a lie... If you believe you are a "player", you are... speaking from experience, it really does work... So many things - I'll throw out a few suggestions...
1) If you are shy/scared, online is your friend - not e-harmony (which is for people looking to get married) - think lavalife "casual" section (I haven't been on it in years - it's the one between "relationships" and "fataing"). Have a really good photo of yourself done for this, a dog in the picture helps... Work on your email/online communication skills - often, you can prepare the ground so well before you even meet that closing on the first date is a cinch...
2) Dress well. I know you are young, so this might not apply to you as well as to a 30-something, but still... What you need is a look that says "class/cool" without saying "dbag". Think Sean Connery, not Jersey Shore... Women really do like a well-dressed man. When you first meet a woman,drink something like a vodka-tonic or a vodka-soda (NO STRAW) - it makes you look like a man.
3) Have a set of funny/interesting stories you can always fall back on - ideally, you'd have enough for a couple of dates worth. Tailor your story to the audience - some girls like raunchy humour more than others... I had a couple of stories and a couple of jokes that I think I told on every first date, and they always laughed. Once they think you have a sense of humour, you are almost there. Plus, if you are naturally shy, having a set "playbook" makes conversation easier, as you don't need to worry about "ummm, what do I say now?"
That's the basics. The biggest thing is self-belief/confidence. I literally went from where you are at (more or less) to shooting fish in a barrel almost overnight, and I didn't get any better looking... Sure, improving personal fitness and such helps, but the biggest thing is confidence, and a few little things I mentioned above.
Good luck, my son.
1) Be confident
2) Be handsome
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
BE YOURSELF! Don't fake that you're interested in things that you're not just to impress a girl. It won't work long-term.
Good stuff. Just want to follow up on this point in the context of what I said above. Don't interpret what I advised as being "fake" - you are still yourself, just a better self. If you fake it and pretend to be someone else, it won't work and it will be too much stress/pressure to keep it up.
I'm pretty sure everytime I got laid in university (late 90s to early 00s) it was because I impressed some chick with my ability to play Dave Matthews Band or Radiohead songs.
I'm pretty sure everytime I got laid in university (late 90s to early 00s) it was because I impressed some chick with my ability to play Dave Matthews Band or Radiohead songs.
Must have gotten lots of hipster/indie chicks playing Radiohead and DMB.
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"Think I'm gonna be the scapegoat for the whole damn machine? Sheeee......."
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Practice on fat chicks to build up your self esteem, start with something really henious and then work your way up.
Bah hahaha. I actually have a friend who calls it reaching for "low hanging fruit"... I've actually watched him improve significantly at picking up women, and I am convinced that it's like most skills... you get better with practice!
Oh also, take note the type of rejection you get from the girl... you WILL get rejected by some, but not every rejection is a straight up fail... Some mean you just need to work harder... haha.
I had to resort to shooting out my wife's tail light with a paintball gun to get a first date ;D
CP, I feel like I've hit the point where I need your help.
I'm 22 years old, and I can't attract women to save my life.
I'm a master of the friend zone, I don't have the confidence to ask girls out, and even online dating has been a huge failure for me. I bought an e-harmony account a few years back and never even had a response.
Now, I'm in Australia thinking that my odds have to have improved just by being Canadian. Well, we're still riding at zero here after 3 months.
I'm not even that bad looking, I just have no clue what to do.
OP, I am 40. If there is one thing that I have learnt in life, the answer will always be no if you don't ask. I have also learnt, that the majority of women are in the same boat as you, only a mirror image: "I am 22 and no one has asked me out".
One day this will make sense, but no one will be sitting around chatting about you if you ask someone out and they say no.
Tailor your story to the audience - some girls like raunchy humour more than others... I had a couple of stories and a couple of jokes that I think I told on every first date, and they always laughed. Once they think you have a sense of humour, you are almost there. Plus, if you are naturally shy, having a set "playbook" makes conversation easier, as you don't need to worry about "ummm, what do I say now?"
If you fake it and pretend to be someone else, it won't work and it will be too much stress/pressure to keep it up.
