Help with women

[albertGQ]

Start being more of an A-hole. Even make fun of them. Chicks dig pricks, not prince charming. At least not chicks your age.

And CP isn't facebook. There's no "like" button. Only "thanks".

[J pold]

Pat yourself on the back. The majority of guys out there are terrible with women but most of them are to insecure to admit it to themselves. They’ll normally blame women for their lack of success, and become bitter and cruel towards them. Realize that nearly every guy has had the same problem once in this life, and there are a lot of resources out there to help you get better (start here).

The best advice I can give to you is to NOT focus on women but focus on yourself. Women are not a cure for loneliness, depression, or lack of self confidence. If you have issues with any of these you need to start improving them on your own. Read a few self improvement books (this or this), like others have mentioned start going to gym and eating right. Is your life in order? Do you know what you want from life? Women love men who know what they want and how to get it.

Getting better at this is not about learning a few pickup lines it’s about moving your life in the right direction. It’s not an overnight process, there is no magic bullet. You need to be prepared to break out of your comfort zone and be willing to fail miserably before you get even a whiff of success.

[Tron_fdc]

Start here. Watch a few Neil Strauss vids, and have a go at it.

http://www.youtube.com/results?searc....0._BzK6rQyIEc

Then read his book.

All his advice is ridiculous, and it looks like it would NEVER work, but it does. I used to run game like that many moons ago, and even the smartest, best looking girls would STILL fall for the ol' "insult them with a bad compliment" trick. It's fascinating how insecure 99% of girls are.

[Lt.Spears]

Yep, basically if you care about finding a woman... you wont, once you are ok with yourself, being happy and healthy and no need for anything. Girls will fall in your lap.

With age comes confidence, some people just get their faster.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

Start being more of an A-hole. Even make fun of them. Chicks dig pricks, not prince charming. At least not chicks your age.

And CP isn't facebook. There's no "like" button. Only "thanks".

Hey OP, there's you and then there's this. Try to land somewhere in the middle. Be confident, not cocky. Be respectful towards yourself, don't be an A-hole. Being an ass will actually get you women, just not the good ones.

[shermanator]

Stop trying so hard to be someone a girl wants, and just be yourself. If it's the right girl, it will be nautral

[rd_aaron]

Learn how to "neg" women. Look it up. It works.

[valo403]

Originally Posted by rd_aaron

Learn how to "neg" women. Look it up. It works.

It's also pathetic

[troutman]

Originally Posted by rd_aaron

Learn how to "neg" women. Look it up. It works.

Cruel and manipulative.

[CaptainCrunch]

The obvious question is what are you looking for a relationship? A pelvis smashing hookup followed by the walk of shame?

Because the approaches are completely different.

If its a hookup, be cocky, exagerate everything that you do by a factor of a billion, be interesting. Just say fvck it and walk up to a girl and say hi like you own the place. find out as little as possible about her and act like you don't give a crap and you're pretty much doing a favor to her by being there.

Oh, stage a fight between you and a buddy and break out into you've got that loving feeling.

Remember chicks want to score in a bar as much as you do.

Practice on fat chicks to build up your self esteem, start with something really henious and then work your way up.

If your looking for a relationship, then don't try to find it in a bar with a bunch of sloppy drunk chicks surrounded by horny guys and angry wingmen.

Find an interest and join hobby groups or social groups, and just ask one out for drinks at a quiet lounge. The movie Best friends was right, doing lunch is death, it means she doesn't want to waste a perfectly good evening on you.

Oh and act like you don't really care if this goes any further, just get to know her. Let her do all the talking while you think about the playoffs or work or whatever. don't be all sensitive guy, you can be all sensitive later. If she looks stressed or whatever at your date, don't willingly dive bomb into the friendship zone by asking her what's bugging her or why she sounds or looks stressed. You're not there to solve her problems, she's there to solve yours, the I give a true crap about you benchmark date doesn't come for a long time yet (At least until after the smash pelvis stage).

People keep saying you need game, you don't need game, you need common sense and a bit of conceit.

Because if you don't self focus, she'll be at your house at 3 in the morning crying on your fricken shoulder that her boyfriend biker Bob is such a jerk but she knows there's a sensitive soul in there somewhere.

[Halfcreek]

This thread is useless without Pics.

[J pold]

I know it’s 4chan but a lot of this stuff is very solid advice. NSFW text.

NSFW!

[Halfcreek]

Seriously though, as you get older, the women will realize a$$holes are just that start to appreciate a guy like you more.

In the meantime, grow a pair and approach the girl. Buy her a beer (just one, don't fall for the "I'm going to let you buy me drinks all night and think you will get in my pants and then go home with the bartender" trick) and ask about her. It really is that simple. If she's interested, you'll be able to tell. If not, chat a little longer, find a polite exit and move along your way. If you don't stay too long, you may find her coming back to you.

[Cole436]

Originally Posted by J pold

I know it’s 4chan but a lot of this stuff is very solid advice. NSFW text.

NSFW!

Some of that was really good, thanks!

And most of the advice here has been fantastic as well guys, if I could do thanks, I would.

[Senator Clay Davis]

Mostly as had been pointed out, its about confidence in yourself. Women aren't as stupid as some guys think, they can see through a lot of the BS and the facade you try to showcase (unless of course you add in alcohol, which many guys need to succeed). Maybe you don't think you're the coolest guy in the world, but so what? Most women don't want the coolest guy in the world, they want a guy who's honest with himself first and foremost.

[driveway]

Yeah, read The Game by Neil Strauss. DO NOT get sucked into the PUA lifestyle. Recognize that the fundamental message of The Game is that the mentality of Pick Up Artists is totally dehumanizing for both women and men. However there are some great tips and techniques that are good things to just ... know. It's like knowing a good play to run in a game of pick-up basketball. It'll get you a basket when you need it, but if you try to run it all the time it'll completely stop working.

For example: The Opinion Opener. Totally a great way to begin a conversation with a total stranger. "Hey, it's Friday - is this a beer night or a liquor night?"

Another great tip: Establish a history of physical contact. If she says something funny, put your hand on her shoulder when you laugh. If you're moving through a crowd, hold her arm or put your hand on her back. These things can be totally casual and entirely appropriate and they also make it easier to make a move because you've already broken the physical barrier.

Finally: Buy a palm reading book. Don't worry at all about actually learning to palm read, just learn the lingo. I have never met a woman who can resist having her hand held, her palm lightly touched for fifteen minutes and someone talk pseudo-mystical mumbo-jumbo about her personality and future.

Don't neg. Negging is for chumps.

[VladtheImpaler]

To quote Costanza, if you believe it, it's not a lie... If you believe you are a "player", you are... speaking from experience, it really does work... So many things - I'll throw out a few suggestions...

1) If you are shy/scared, online is your friend - not e-harmony (which is for people looking to get married) - think lavalife "casual" section (I haven't been on it in years - it's the one between "relationships" and "fataing"). Have a really good photo of yourself done for this, a dog in the picture helps... Work on your email/online communication skills - often, you can prepare the ground so well before you even meet that closing on the first date is a cinch...

2) Dress well. I know you are young, so this might not apply to you as well as to a 30-something, but still... What you need is a look that says "class/cool" without saying "dbag". Think Sean Connery, not Jersey Shore... Women really do like a well-dressed man. When you first meet a woman,drink something like a vodka-tonic or a vodka-soda (NO STRAW) - it makes you look like a man.

3) Have a set of funny/interesting stories you can always fall back on - ideally, you'd have enough for a couple of dates worth. Tailor your story to the audience - some girls like raunchy humour more than others... I had a couple of stories and a couple of jokes that I think I told on every first date, and they always laughed. Once they think you have a sense of humour, you are almost there. Plus, if you are naturally shy, having a set "playbook" makes conversation easier, as you don't need to worry about "ummm, what do I say now?"

That's the basics. The biggest thing is self-belief/confidence. I literally went from where you are at (more or less) to shooting fish in a barrel almost overnight, and I didn't get any better looking... Sure, improving personal fitness and such helps, but the biggest thing is confidence, and a few little things I mentioned above.

Good luck, my son.

[Tron_fdc]

If you go to a bar, remember this.

Go ugly early.

Hit on the ugly one while you're sober. Lay some groundwork. Then spend the rest of the night chasing other girls. If you strike out, go to plan B.....the ugly one. You already laid your groundwork, and your chances of success are greatly increased because of it.

When I was 20, one of the guys I played rugby with (who was in his late 30's) told me about this theory. I laughed in his face, but was stunned when I realized his batting average was as close to 100% as you could get. Sure, it was a mixed bag of ugly, but he was highly, HIGHLY successful in the bars.

RIP Swervin Mervin, you were a legend.......

[Bill Bumface]

I think go ugly early is a little advanced for a guy lacking confidence.

Honestly, go ugly and stay ugly.

I'm talking fatties.

Go for the surest of sure things. You'll find out that even those don't always work out, but after a few you'll settle into your groove and get used to the routine of going out and hitting on girls and not overly caring or letting it wreck your night depending on the outcome.

Then start to work your way up. You won't realize it, but you are more confident now and it comes across that way to girls. Gradually work your way up until you're actually talking to girls you like. Boom. Married.

[MarchHare]

As someone who was formerly in your position (perpetually assigned to the friend zone by every girl I liked), I know exactly where you're coming from and exactly what you need to do to break the cycle.

Most of this has been mentioned already, but to reiterate:

Girls like confidence, but learn the difference between being confident and being cocky. It works amazingly well if you balance bragging/showing off with self-depricating humour. It shows girls that you're confident enough to make fun of yourself.

Having enough confidence to approach a complete stranger to strike up a conversation is 95% of the battle. As a Canadian in Australia, you've got a natural advantage here. Just tell girls your situation and ask about places they think you should visit while you're there. Instant ice-breaker! Plus they'll think you're foreign and exotic and will likely have many questions about Canada.

You've probably been fooled by watching Hollywood romantic comedies and trying to emulate the behaviour of the male leads in those films. Girls might think that they want a sensitive man like Hugh Grant, but in reality that type of person will always end up in the friend zone. "You're such a great listener. Why can't I find a guy like you?" Don't be that guy!

If you haven't seen it already, watch the movie Swingers and look at Jon Favreau's transformation from the sensitive caring guy who never gets the girl into someone with more confidence who uses self-depricating humour to hook up with Heather Graham. "When you go over to talk to her, I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay?"

BE YOURSELF! Don't fake that you're interested in things that you're not just to impress a girl. It won't work long-term.

Success breeds success. Once you have a bit of luck, you'll very quickly get on a "hot streak". This is partly because you'll get more confidence, but also because women will be more likely to give you a shot when they realize that there must be something about you that another girl frinds attractive.