CMA calling for a ban on spanking

[Russic]

Originally Posted by The Coppernian One

MattyC just went in the direction of my question, but for those of you that have kids (I don't) and employ time-outs, etc., what do you do if the kid doesn't cooperate? They don't go to their room (or stay there if you take them) or sit quietly in the corner?

I can't speak for my youngest, but I can tell you my eldest (almost 3) hates timeouts more than anything. Getting a timeout away from us is about an 8/10 on the spazz scale, and he's calmly told if he moves from the spot he's going in his room. He's only ever moved once or twice and the in-room timeout gets intense. He freaks out like nothing I've ever seen... it's quite the show!

He was quite focused on what he did wrong following the in-room timeouts and even today recites the rule whenever he gets near the objects that got him in trouble. If you give him milk he'll say "no throwing milk" and if he reaches into the cutlery drawer it's "no throw spoon" (it's been months and he still does this).

One other time he was neglected his iPad time for not cleaning up the living room. He generally gets 15 minutes to play with the iPad each night as long as everything has been picked up. It only took one night of neglecting it and he's cleaned up ever since. Not always is he enthusiastic, but a gentle reminder of the night he went iPad-less is enough to force his hand.

All kids are different and no punishment will work exactly the same across the board imo. Just as timeouts don't work for some, I would imagine spankings aren't 100% either. It's up to the parent to decide what they feel is best for their kid within reason.

[Mr.Coffee]

Not a dad yet so I'm not going to sit around and pretend I know what emotions you go through as a parent when your kid is being a little ####, but I can't help but think that there are numerous forms of discipline and punishment that serve the purpose every bit as much as spanking. I was spanked when I was younger, but whether I was or wasn't I'm not sure it actually impacted my upbringing or made me any more or less disciplined.

I will never forget those years working with kids with disabilities. It was sometimes tricky to tell if injuries were self-inflicted or were the result of parental abuse. No excuses and would obviously never condone it... but day in and day out working with the acutely disabled, highly energized, easily distracted kids that can't speak and may or may not even understand what you're even saying... you could very easily see why a parent would boil over in frustration. This was during times that these kids were supposed to be having fun too, not even the times where you really needed them to listen. I learnt so much at that job, such an awesome experience. Man those people don't get paid anywhere close to enough.

[afc wimbledon]

Having spent years dealing with badly parented kids after growing up in a society where hitting kids was an acceptable hobby for any adult within reach of a child under 13 I can catagorically say that a good parent will be a good parent whether they hit their kid or not, a bad parent will be a bad parent regardless of how they punish.

What counts is love and stability, and of those stability is the most important, a kid can handle any punishment if he/she knows where when and why it is happening, it is inconsistancy that screws kids up which is why these days parents who hit tend to generally be lousy, after 40 years of being told we shouldn't hit the kids the only parents that do tend to be impulsive idiots who veer from utterly permissive to angry in a few seconds.

[yads]

Originally Posted by polak

Exactly. Thats why I think spanking is necessary. You can't just compound lesser punishments that are easy to break.

A spanking is unavoidable consequence.

Say you say "no tv" and you catch them watching tv... what, are you just going to say "well no internet now either"?

I'm seriously curious as someone who is young and doesn't have kids. I know that in this sort of direct defience I would look to spanking.

For me I use it as the nuclear option. When my daughter is being absolutely disrespectful and a complete brat, I usually start asking if she wants to behave well because she's being bad, when reasoning fails, I usually ask her if she wants to get a hit on the bum. I don't usually need to follow through.

For any of the softer tactics to work, there needs to be more powerful punishment in your back pocket. Either that is taking her toys away, no books before bed time, or a spanking is really up to the parent to gauge the situation.

[Locke]

I'm just going to leave that there....

NSFW!