CMA calling for a ban on spanking

[undercoverbrother]

Canada’s most prestigious medical journal is calling on parents, lawmakers and doctors to put an end to the practice of spanking children.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/...70/?cmpid=rss1


I don't do it to my kids. My dad treated it like a sport, and as a result we have a poor relationship.

[RedMileDJ]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/...70/?cmpid=rss1


I don't do it to my kids. My dad treated it like a sport, and as a result we have a poor relationship.

I think that's the point where you have to know when to, or not to.

My parents spanked both my sister and I, and we have a great relationship with them. I fully intend to use spanking on my son, once he know the difference between good and bad behaviour

While we weren't spanked all the time, we did get it when we deserved it. I think there's a fine line between discipline and abuse.

I'm not saying you were abused, but if your Dad treated it like a "sport", then it sounds like he didn't know where that line was.

[Huntingwhale]

[Addick]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

My dad treated it like a sport, and as a result we have a poor relationship.

That wasn't spanking, that was abuse.

[undercoverbrother]

That wasn't spanking, that was abuse.

I'm not saying you were abused, but if your Dad treated it like a "sport", then it sounds like he didn't know where that line was.

Thanks for your concern. I was not abused.

[Nammer403]

Originally Posted by Red-Mile-DJ

I think that's the point where you have to know when to, or not to.

My parents spanked both my sister and I, and we have a great relationship with them. I fully intend to use spanking on my son, once he know the difference between good and bad behaviour

While we weren't spanked all the time, we did get it when we deserved it. I think there's a fine line between discipline and abuse.

Couldn't have said it any better

[puckluck2]

I thought this had to do with the other spanking and I was outraged.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Red-Mile-DJ

I fully intend to use spanking on my son, once he know the difference between good and bad behaviour

How will you know when that is?

[Nyah]

I don't have kids, and don't really have an opinion. BUT my parents spanked me when I deserved it and I turned out okay. In fact, I have a great relationship with both of them. It's not like they beat me, it was more about the humiliation than the hurt. For me as a kid, it worked. For some kids, it probably wouldn't.

Some parents believe a smack on the butt is okay, and it is. Some parents decide not to dicipline their kids that way, and that's okay too. I think it should be up to them.

[AC]

I know on Loveline, Dr. Drew has always maintained that the key difference between discipline and abuse is whether the adult uses an object to strike the child, as opposed to a standard spanking.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by fotze

usual snide unhelpful comment

fyp

[Table 5]

Personally, I'm much more looking forward to the threatening mind-games and psychological tormenting.

[TheGrimm]

What's the big deal with the sensitivity around spanking anyway? I got my fair share (probably deserved many more than I got) as a kid, and I don't recall feeling psychologically damaged or anything, my butt hurt, and I knew why, because it was always explained to me ad-nauseum prior to the pain beginning.

I think it's only effective at a very young age as a "quick" corrective action... IE.. Kid about to run into traffic or playing with a power outlet etc. It's about them associating a behaviour with a negative emotion.

Not so effective once a kid gets to a certain age...

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by fotze

I was agreeing with you that its a goofy statement that you couldn't possibly know when they have become 'good'.

Apologies

[corporatejay]

Pretty much every study I've ever heard of suggests that there is no tangible benefit to spanking over not, therefore, why would you physically hit someone when not necessary? You don't hit your co-workers to get them to come around, and kids know the difference between right and wrong from an early age, if they don't, hitting them isn't going to change that.

[wookster]

My parents didn't hesitate to spank me if I did something really stupid/wrong....and you know what, it taught me not to do anything really stupid/wrong. I've always had a great relationship with my parents as well, spanking worked for them, and I turned out ok...

[shermanator]

But I spank it every day, now what am I going to do?

[Rathji]

The only way you can spank a kid and have it not be out of anger, and have it coupled with a calm explanation that the kid can understand, then it is a useful tool.

Otherwise, it is pretty much just abuse under the guise of discipline theatre.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by corporatejay

You don't hit your co-workers to get them to come around

I do daydream about it, though. I would never hit a kid, but that guy who schedules meetings at 4 on a Friday could use a good punch to the skull.

[RedMileDJ]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

How will you know when that is?

I suppose once I'm satisfied that my son can tell the difference between good and bad behaviour. If he out-right acts in a bad way (swearing, physically hitting someone, etc) then I'll bring spanking in as ONE of the ways to discipline him.

Spanking shouldn't be the only way to discipline your child, but as a tool among other tools. "Time-outs", the "1, 2, 3" count and others should all be used, when appropriate.

I guess it all depends on the situation. But using spanking as the be-all and end-all of all disciplines is wrong, in my opinion.

My Dad only spanked, or gave us the belt, when we were REALLY bad.

Example: I was 7 or 8 and I was playing with my sister. I ended up taking a toy from her and made her cry. My Mom asked me to give it back to her. I told my Mom to "shut up." My Mom told me to apologize and explain to me why I needed to apologize and not tell people to "shut up." I told her "no" or whatever (basically being a brat), and my Dad came over and picked me up and took me to my room. He then gave me the belt.

I cried for a good 30 minutes. After I was done crying my parents came to the room and went over with me why I was given the belt, and what I should do. I apologized to my sister and that was that.

I have a vivid memory of this, because it taught me discipline, respect and the consequences of what could happen if I disobeyed.