My advice is to have sex with your ex, but NOT get back together with her. Sex with an ex is great, but psycho women give the best sexing.
Sadly this is totally true.
My psycho ex showed up at my mom's house and asked her if she wanted to meet her grand daughter! My mom phoned me and is still to this day the only time in my life that I've heard her say the 'F' word!
She actually took me to court for a paternity test which cost me eleven hundred bucks or so and it turned out to not be mine. Best eleven hundred bucks I ever spent.
Hooked up with her a few times after that even...men aren't very smart at all....but was A LOT more careful.
My psycho ex showed up at my mom's house and asked her if she wanted to meet her grand daughter! My mom phoned me and is still to this day the only time in my life that I've heard her say the 'F' word!
She actually took me to court for a paternity test which cost me eleven hundred bucks or so and it turned out to not be mine. Best eleven hundred bucks I ever spent.
Hooked up with her a few times after that even...men aren't very smart at all....but was A LOT more careful.
Ahhhh, good times!
Wow dude, that's ballsy - I don't think I could forgive someone after that stunt.
But please, tell me this was your reaction:
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The bolded part tells me you are a bit of a jerk. Dissentower might be the greatest guy of all time - he might have the best hockey opinions on this earth but raising a child is difficult to do with two people, let alone one.
Lastly your example of the "loon" daughter is horrible - the last thing he should want to do is to cut her and his child out if his life as if she would just disappear. That wouldn't do anyone any good - least of all his kid.
But she isn't raising him herself. I am doing my part for half the week, some of you are making it sound like I walked away from the whole thing. Sitting down and talking with her has been done, she is abdament I move in with them and give up any job and be a stay at home dad while she goes back to work. If I won't do that she wants half my pay plus to pay for day care expenses. She has also threatened to move away if I don't reconcile.
But she isn't raising him herself. I am doing my part for half the week, some of you are making it sound like I walked away from the whole thing. Sitting down and talking with her has been done, she is abdament I move in with them and give up any job and be a stay at home dad while she goes back to work. If I won't do that she wants half my pay plus to pay for day care expenses. She has also threatened to move away if I don't reconcile.
To be frank I thought it sounded like you want to walk away, and props to you for not. I am also confused (and a bit suspicious) as to why the hell you were with her and happily shagging her a year ago and now she a crazy bitch, I assume you had some kind of relationship with her? how does she and your oldest get on? where is your eldest?
To be honest I am as confused as hell as to what the hell is going on now, why/if she has changed, when you became unhappy with her, how you guys decided to have a kid etc. None of which you have to answer but all have huge bearing on what you should do.
Are you taking him for half the time - is the kid sleeping at your place 3-4 nights a week or are you visiting after work? Not meant to be a rude question but just trying to get a proper understanding of the situation.
Fact is that if the situation is as you have described it (it often isn't) then there is the possibility that there may be a mental health issue such as PPD which would at least in part explain some of the symptoms.
To be honest I am as confused as hell as to what the hell is going on now, why/if she has changed, when you became unhappy with her, how you guys decided to have a kid etc. None of which you have to answer but all have huge bearing on what you should do.
I will put any amount of money on them not having decided to have a kid - at least in the traditional sense.
Does she work? If yes, does she work full time? It sounds like perhaps she's stressed about her financial situation. You've mentioned her options to you are to give her half your pay and pay for day care OR live in so she can go to work. Perhaps even with your pay (and her pay if she's working) that it's not enough to pay her rent/bills and feed and clothe the child. It could be that or as others have said, PPD, or a combination of the two.
From your first post, you said you try to be there three times a week. That leaves her with four or more days a week, raising the kid by herself. From what everyone I know who has a child has said to me, it is tough to raise a child. Perhaps she is just really struggling and it's stressing her out and she's lashing out. You go and work and I imagine have a social life of some kind and she can't because she has to watch the baby. I imagine that would be frustrating.
My ex gf is a complete nut job! Calling me up all the time complaining about her life and bitching about everything under the sun. Yep, it is the one who has my youngest. Those who are familiar with that story know we did not get along and we agreed me leaving was for the best. Now she is hell bent that I should come back and raise our son with her. I try and be there 3 days a week and give her half my pay and she still acts crazy, posting stuff on my FB that I am a bad father for not always being there and crap. She calls my parents and bitches to them about me and my mom gets upset. My family and friends think she is nuts. Wtf do I do?? I want to stay close with my 6 month old but his mom is driving me mad! We don't get along at all so trying to make it work would be stupid and when I was there I was severely depressed. What a mess.
I feel your pain, but mine isn't as crazy as far as I know, but she still calls me to tell me what to make for dinner and when there are sales and what time I should wake up, etc..I am just waiting for my ex to find out about some of the new girls I've been dating. She's gonna go nuts. I give my ex a boat load of money every month, eventhough we have joint custody of my almost 3 year old son.
We should start a CP support group.
Last edited by KTown; 10-10-2011 at 02:48 PM.
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To be frank I thought it sounded like you want to walk away, and props to you for not. I am also confused (and a bit suspicious) as to why the hell you were with her and happily shagging her a year ago and now she a crazy bitch, I assume you had some kind of relationship with her? how does she and your oldest get on? where is your eldest?
To be honest I am as confused as hell as to what the hell is going on now, why/if she has changed, when you became unhappy with her, how you guys decided to have a kid etc. None of which you have to answer but all have huge bearing on what you should do.
I wasn't happily shagging her, something i used failed and here I am. Mt oldest son is living with me, when we were together she didn't really want him living with us because him and her 7 year old would act up. I was unhappy with her when she got pregnant, was ready to leave her. I messed up and was dumb and now I have gotten myself in a mess.
I feel your pain, but mine isn't as crazy as far as I know, but she still calls me to tell me what to make for dinner and when there are sales and what time I should wake up, etc..I am just waiting for my ex to find out about some of the new girls I've been dating. She's gonna go nuts. I give my ex a boat load of money every month, eventhough we have joint custody of my almost 3 year old son.
We should start a CP support group.
My ex told me if I dated anybody in the next two years she would try and keep our son from me.
My ex told me if I dated anybody in the next two years she would try and keep our son from me.
She can try but she won't win, if you are a good father and have proven it, the courst will see especially if you pay on time.
One thing I don't do is bring any girls around my son. When it's time with my son. It is me and him, no one else. He sees it and he loves being with me.
All the girls I meet, I tell them straight up my son rules the house and if you call when I am with him don't expect me to pick up unless he's napping or in bed at night.
I wasn't happily shagging her, something i used failed and here I am. Mt oldest son is living with me, when we were together she didn't really want him living with us because him and her 7 year old would act up. I was unhappy with her when she got pregnant, was ready to leave her. I messed up and was dumb and now I have gotten myself in a mess.
Couple of lessons you need to learn from this, it is for your sons sake but works well for you as well. No more women in his life, I don't care what that means to you, he needs some stability and thus far you have shown a lack of ability to pick stable women. If someone comes along you love they will wait, if they wont wait you don't want them in your kids life anyway. If you have dated someone successfully for 2 or 3 years maybe they get to meet your kid, but not in your house or overnights or the like please.
You also need to realise you have gotten 2 kids and her into a mess as well, granted she made her bed with you, but the kids didn't and your focus is how to minimise the damage you have done to them. You need to get a lawyer, you don't have to pay her half your salary, you have to pay her what the court orders, based on your income and number of kids, it used to be about 10 or 15% of your salary though that may have changed.
Important question, how does your oldest son feel about all this? he has just lost a mum of sorts and is in danger of losing his brother.
My best guess is you need to start planning for the worst not just hoping things work out.
Last edited by afc wimbledon; 10-10-2011 at 03:06 PM.
There is no magic to bringing up kids and while every now and then you find one that doesn't seem to have any reason for being a loon, 99.99 times you can lay blame on a troubled kid on their parents.
I am not even saying Dissentower isn't a decent guy, what I am saying is once you have a kid you do have to 'give up' 19 years of your life, you do this if your happily married or a single parent, sometimes this 'giving up' is hard, sometimes it is the best experience you'll ever go through that defines you as a man and gives reason to your own existance, as such I didn't consider it 'giving up' my life, my being a parent was my life.
As to my education, I did ok at school but my mum run a refuge for abused women, I grew up helping her help them, going into social work was for me as natural as breathing and I have never been able to find another job that I cared about, working in an office in any capacity pales into insignificance when you have been the guy a kid trusts enough to disclose sexual abuse from some scum bag uncle or the like.
That said I have managed to parlay my skills into career that has paid for me to buy a decent house in East Vancouver and pays me over 100,000 net, which in my field is about as good as it gets.
Social workers don't get paid Dink... 100k net is dang good unless you get into the teaching aspect and become a dean like my soon to be father in law.
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Thank you for everything CP. Good memories and thankful for everything that has been done to help me out. I will no longer take part on these boards. Take care, Go Flames Go.
Social workers don't get paid Dink... 100k net is dang good unless you get into the teaching aspect and become a dean like my soon to be father in law.
I never made any money in salaried positions but I have had a contract to house several 'disturbed' (mostly addicted criminally involved kids) and that I am very good at, I generally take kids that look like they will be a nightmare to live with and then calm them down and 'normalise' them over the course of a few years. It is the only way I have ever been able to 'fix' kids.
