You know Springs...I'd be willing to bet that just about any server you get can tell with 2 minutes that you couldn't possibly tip them enough to put up with your asinine demands, and they just don't give two hoots or a holler for you.
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springs one thing you need to realize is that servers are their to provide a certain level of service. This does not mean doing your every whim like some sort of slave. You also can't expect the same service or type of service from different restaurants. Using the (awful) examples of the ones you seem to post about a lot, you can't expect Chili's to have the same standards as Red Lobster, they're a different culture with different rules and different ways of doing things.
As a former restaurant employee in both the front and back of the house I can asure you that no one who works in the restaurant buisiness cares about YOUR TIP. The owner of the restaurant doesnt care about your business either. If you took a printed out copy of your demands of how to be served and gave it to the owner and your server they would ask you to leave.
What you dont seem to understand is that your service doesnt exist in a vaccum. Making assumptions about how MOST people like to be served is required to provide good service to MOST people. The goal of a restaurant is to provide good but not perfect service to most people. The goal of the server is either to do a job they are proud (like any other employee at any job) or to maximize tips (this is done by maximizing the number of tables served, not by providing good service). Either way providing perfect individualized service to every customer is NOT the goal.
In the end YOUR tip is worth a negative amount of money because of the Opportunity cost of it. Not serving you will net a server more tips than serving you. Servers know this and owners know this.
She treats people like garbage, so she deserves every single waiter she gets.
Nuh uh. It's her TIP so she gets whatever she wants. When she wants her server to dance for her when she says so they'd better do it or they'll lose that sweet, sweet tip she is dangling under their nose like the trainers do with fish for the seals at SeaWorld. They're not people who are trying to get through a day at work (made especially harder by a Springs1 appearance) but her slaves that need to cater to her every whim.
Who hurt you, Springs1...who hurt you...
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Nuh uh. It's her TIP so she gets whatever she wants. When she wants her server to dance for her when she says so they'd better do it or they'll lose that sweet, sweet tip she is dangling under their nose like the trainers do with fish for the seals at SeaWorld. They're not people who are trying to get through a day at work (made especially harder by a Springs1 appearance) but her slaves that need to cater to her every whim.
Who hurt you, Springs1...who hurt you...
oh, I'm sorry, NO RANCH!?
Forget that 2.50 tip on my meal at Applebee's then! THAT'LL SHOW THOSE LAZY FOOLS.
I just get the impression that she hates the people she dines with so much that she occupies herself with timing the servers. I can't think of a single time that I have been engaged in an interesting conversation over dinner, and just suddenly become vexed that my server hasn't refilled my drink be fore it was empty. I simply can't fathom what horrible, awkward dining experiences these for people who go out with her. Imagine feeling so unimportant that this person cares more about 6 seconds to get a drink than carrying on a conversation or being engaged with the people you are dining with.
I would really like to know how people who dine with Springs1 would rate their experience being in her dining party.
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
Exp:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wormius
I just get the impression that she hates the people she dines with so much that she occupies herself with timing the servers. I can't think of a single time that I have been engaged in an interesting conversation over dinner, and just suddenly become vexed that my server hasn't refilled my drink be fore it was empty. I simply can't fathom what horrible, awkward dining experiences these for people who go out with her. Imagine feeling so unimportant that this person cares more about 6 seconds to get a drink than carrying on a conversation or being engaged with the people you are dining with.
I would really like to know how people who dine with Springs1 would rate their experience being in her dining party.
She hates life period! I have no doubt she complains about her co workers and anything else in her life she can find. I feel sorry for anyone who is in her life.
I just get the impression that she hates the people she dines with so much that she occupies herself with timing the servers. I can't think of a single time that I have been engaged in an interesting conversation over dinner, and just suddenly become vexed that my server hasn't refilled my drink be fore it was empty. I simply can't fathom what horrible, awkward dining experiences these for people who go out with her. Imagine feeling so unimportant that this person cares more about 6 seconds to get a drink than carrying on a conversation or being engaged with the people you are dining with.
I would really like to know how people who dine with Springs1 would rate their experience being in her dining party.
I'm pretty sure Mr.Springs1 has Stockholm Syndrome.
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Jeebus. I think it is best for everyone if she is just banned. We are enabling this psychotic behaviour which she completely refuses to address, and get help for.
The woman 100%, undeniably, has OCD, very likely a narcissistic personalty disorder, and may even be teetering on being a sociopath. Feeding her mental illness is not helping her cause. I say lock the thread, and ban her for her own good. One less fight for her to have in this futile crusade.
Okay Springs1, you are right, everyone else in the world is wrong. Please, I am begging you, please, seek professional mental help. It will do you a world of good. It is amazing what therapy can do to help you.
Have you seen her online history? Banning her from one forum will do nothing. It's the equivalent of taking the drink out of the alcoholics hand and walking away thinking you've solved the problem.
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Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
Have you seen her online history? Banning her from one forum will do nothing. It's the equivalent of taking the drink out of the alcoholics hand and walking away thinking you've solved the problem.
I understand that, but this is never going to stop. She will never back off her argument. And this will keep going in circles. I almost feel guilt now for participating in this thread because we are so obviously dealing with a mentally ill person, and it isn't right. We have expressed our concerns about her mental health, and many people have politely suggested she seek help, and yet she cannot take the focus off of the perceived wrongings she is receiving at Chili's.
I am bowing out of this thread. This is almost at the level of us picking on a mentally handicapped person now.
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I understand that, but this is never going to stop. She will never back off her argument. And this will keep going in circles. I almost feel guilt now for participating in this thread because we are so obviously dealing with a mentally ill person, and it isn't right. We have expressed our concerns about her mental health, and many people have politely suggested she seek help, and yet she cannot take the focus off of the perceived wrongings she is receiving at Chili's.
I am bowing out of this thread. This is almost at the level of us picking on a mentally handicapped person now.
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I think I have enough for my final post on this issue.
There are a few fundamental issues here that you seem to be missing.
1) You assume any time wasted by a server affects you directly. Just because a server does something that, as you put it but I disagree, "wastes" time; that does not mean your service is affected. In the refill example you ignore the fact that prep work done while the server is letting you eat in peace doesn't cause you any lost time. You counter this argument by saying the restaurant loses productivity. However, how others are affected shouldn't determine your tip.
2) You seem to think that a tip creates a contractual relationship between the customer and server. The server is never employed by the customer. The server is employed by the restaurant. Their actions are based on company policy. They are not subject to your every whim.
A tip is a gratuity. It's a thank you. It isn't an obligation, it isn't a right. It doesn't buy you a slave or a person. It doesn't mean that you can dictate how someone else's employees act in their business nor how things run in other cultures.
You cannot expect a server in Rimouski to serve you in English because you'll pay them 15% on a $10 order. Why? Because you're in the heart of Québec, you went to a francophone area looking for service.
It's also irrational to preach how servers in Calgary should be serving people when it's not your tip money that they are after. It's ours (well most other posters) by arguing with me you're also saying how servers should be treating me for my tip money in Nova Scotia. It doesn't matter that the cultural norms in both these places are different from yours. And what is expected from restaurant service is culturally different. By stating how things should be done here over the internet you are the one trying to control this here, and without the incentive of tip money (which is an absurd argument to begin with).
3) You assume that everything within a category is interchangeable. Given the East Side Mario's example it's not. You actually said you understood that. A restaurant is well within their rights to charge you for a coke and a ginger ale. To you they are both fountain drinks, but they are different products. Some places will allow you to interchange, some won't. Because some won't, you can't expect it everywhere.
4) The tipping the manager point you assume that the manager would pocket the cash tips. I argue that splitting the tips would be fair, and follow the same procedures that tip splitting follows when you tip the server.
This will be my last post on the topic. Not because you are right Springs1, but because you have trouble with reading comprehension, go straight to reductio ad absurdum when an example doesn't support you, and you believe that tips create contractual obligations that, as you stated, compare to slavery and comprise the safety of the wait staff (they should be running to save your 6 seconds). Lastly, you are unwilling to listen to counter arguments, when asked for proof and statistical analysis of your experiences you say no because "people might find out where you live". How does saying "I went to Chili's and this was my experience" narrow down where you live at all? It does not. You simply don't want to even demonstrate any possibility that service could be better than you claim, or the very few bad experiences warrant this tirade. You dismiss all premises of those that disagree, I and others have not done the same.
Because of this I ask you this one thing earnestly and honestly, I ask you to do this one thing not because it will help me but because it will help you. I ask you the following because it may make you happier in life and help you grow as a person. I ask you this because I'm a compassionate and empathetic person.
Please make an appointment to see your doctor. Ask for a referral to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Tell your doctor you would someone to talk to. Go see the psychologist or psychiatrist, you can state that you don't think you need to be there, but tell them about the message boards, and forums. Explain your theories. Then follow instructions of the psychologist/psychiatrist.
Don't do this for me. Don't do this for anyone here. Don't do this for your husband. Do this for you.
You will be better for it.
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