Yeah, that’s some bull####, Kermit. Sucks to hear. Middle age isn’t for the faint of heart. Our male bodies start to fail. Women get wonderful peri then full on menopause. If both people aren’t there for each other, it won’t work. Good marriages are work. Lots of it. I hate when I see one side just give up on it.
I agree with your entire post, but this part is particularly poignant to me.
We're taught and raised to work and work and work some more but at some point we hit a limit and we just can't keep going anymore and then...sometimes, are considered useless and ergo dispensable.
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If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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I found this awesome German guy on Facebook who was giving fantastic tutorials on kettlebell exercises, like sport science kind of tutorials. I signed up for his online class and I'm on week 2 of a kettlebell strength and conditioning program. I'd been doing a bunch of exercises on my own, but I like having a set program. I've been working out regularly for about a month or so and already seeing big changes. It's the best thing when I feel particularly anxious.
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Yeah, that’s some bull####, Kermit. Sucks to hear. Middle age isn’t for the faint of heart. Our male bodies start to fail. Women get wonderful peri then full on menopause. If both people aren’t there for each other, it won’t work. Good marriages are work. Lots of it. I hate when I see one side just give up on it.
There's also different degrees of 'giving up'. There's giving up and wanting to divorce then there's banging other people before even talking about giving up and using the other side's emotional vulnerabilities to justify the behavior.
There's also different degrees of 'giving up'. There's giving up and wanting to divorce then there's banging other people before even talking about giving up and using the other side's emotional vulnerabilities to justify the behavior.
And there is also just not caring about your partner's well-being anymore.
Marriage and family is a Team Game.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
Ugh, yeah, add me to the doing crappy mental health.
Ive been separated/divorced for 2.5 years now and met an incredible woman last July, like soulmate kind of connection. But her situation is killing me slowly and messy AF. She has a young daughter who's father took his life a few years ago. She got into a trauma bond relationship with a friend of his and they live together. She ended the relationship last April, but they still co-habitat and her daughter calls him Dad. Add in the most ridiculous string of bad luck for her (health scare, cat died, terrible rental condo tenants and now renos, job stress) and I'm really struggling.
She's still living with this guy, who also happens to be a quiet alcoholic and delinquent. But she's been so overwhelmed with life and not wanting to cause more turmoil that shes paralysed to do much like tell him about us, move out, or kick him out right now.
The future is so damn bright. But I'm struggling with what to do. Can hang on for a month once the reno is done and she can relax a bit.
Then add in my own job insecurity, losing funding for a company I'm trying to get funded, losing a consulting gig, and spending $$ on a house reno, constant minor injuries...ugh. I'm a mess.
Life is hard, but it will get better. And need to talk to close friends and family. First time in my life I've ever felt remotely this uncertain, low, anxious, etc.
Last edited by FLAMESRULE; 02-06-2026 at 12:56 PM.
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Ugh, yeah, add me to the doing crappy mental health.
Ive been separated/divorced for 2.5 years now and met an incredible woman last July, like soulmate kind of connection. But her situation is killing me slowly and messy AF. She has a young daughter who's father took his life a few years ago. She got into a trauma bond relationship with a friend of his and they live together. She ended the relationship last April, but they still co-habitat and her daughter calls him Dad. Add in the most ridiculous string of bad luck (health scare, cat died, terrible rental condo tenants and now renos, job stress) and I'm really struggling.
She's still living with this guy, who also happens to be a quiet alcoholic and delinquent. But she's been so overwhelmed with life and not wanting to cause more turmoil that shes paralysed to do much like tell him about us, move out, or kick him out right now.
The future is so damn bright. But I'm struggling with what to do. Can hang on for a month once the reno is done and she can relax a bit.
Then add in my own job insecurity, losing funding for a company I'm trying to get funded, losing a consulting gig, and spending $$ on a house reno, constant minor injuries...ugh. I'm a mess.
Life is hard, but it will get better. And need to talk to close friends and family. First time in my life I've ever felt remotely this uncertain, low, anxious, etc.
Aw man....I'm sorry to hear that.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
I'm not sure if reading the posts in this thread is good or bad for my mental health.
I've learned a great many things during my brief time on this little rock, sometimes things that are bad for you are still important to know.
I know where you're coming from. I've known FLAMESRULE for years and to see him in here hurts me. But if I want to be his friend then I need to know that he needs me there for him.
Whether its fun or not.
I think more information is always better than less, even when its things that hurt to know.
And by speaking out, maybe we're helping other people who might be keeping it to themselves and trying to white-knuckle their way through hard times solo not knowing that there are others out there in similar positions willing to at least listen and help if they can.
Thats what this thread is about right? Support.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
I've learned a great many things during my brief time on this little rock, sometimes things that are bad for you are still important to know.
I know where you're coming from. I've known FLAMESRULE for years and to see him in here hurts me. But if I want to be his friend then I need to know that he needs me there for him.
Whether its fun or not.
I think more information is always better than less, even when its things that hurt to know.
And by speaking out, maybe we're helping other people who might be keeping it to themselves and trying to white-knuckle their way through hard times solo not knowing that there are others out there in similar positions willing to at least listen and help if they can.
Thats what this thread is about right? Support.
Yeah, I already got a lot of bad things crammed deep down in the pit, I'm running out of room.
A wonderful member on this board sent me a PM when I posted that I realized I needed help.
I still have reached out to his recommendation.
It's just, i kinda want to see some wins, to help me know it gets better.
Not sure if that makes sense or not.
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Thanks Locke. I'm good, it's just a difficult situation and time of my life. I've never felt so emotionally drained. But I've been super lucky in life so trying stay positive.
I see this as honestly a "safe space" for guys to come and just vent/post/discuss. Sounds cliche, but just typing it out felt better. As guys (assuming 98% of us are, lol), we dont really share emotions well. We can't help if we don't know (coughhackcough at my ex-wife, lol).
so you nailed it. Support.
And UCB...I'll def be back and post some wins. I know life gets better.
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Thanks Locke. I'm good, it's just a difficult situation and time of my life. I've never felt so emotionally drained. But I've been super lucky in life so trying stay positive.
I see this as honestly a "safe space" for guys to come and just vent/post/discuss. Sounds cliche, but just typing it out felt better. As guys (assuming 98% of us are, lol), we dont really share emotions well. We can't help if we don't know (coughhackcough at my ex-wife, lol).
so you nailed it. Support.
I got you man. You know my phone number. Anytime.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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Yeah, I already got a lot of bad things crammed deep down in the pit, I'm running out of room.
A wonderful member on this board sent me a PM when I posted that I realized I needed help.
I still have reached out to his recommendation.
It's just, i kinda want to see some wins, to help me know it gets better.
Not sure if that makes sense or not.
Life is so ####ing hard, especially right now. There's a good chunk of us who are in the bottom of the happiness curve in our early to mid 40s, and it's so hard. For myself, I'm feeling so much hurt and anger that when I asked my partner for help after 4 years of carrying an unbelievable burden, it was too much.
BUT.. I'm learning so much about myself through this, and how I want my life to be moving forward. We can choose to do things differently, but the first part of it is being open and honest with ourselves, and sometimes that's implemented by talking to others. Having hard, deep, emotional conversations with guy friends has been amazing, because it shows that there are people in this world who are willing to be vulnerable and present when we need them.
We don't have to do this #### alone.
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Yeah, I already got a lot of bad things crammed deep down in the pit, I'm running out of room.
A wonderful member on this board sent me a PM when I posted that I realized I needed help.
I still have reached out to his recommendation.
It's just, i kinda want to see some wins, to help me know it gets better.
Not sure if that makes sense or not.
The rainbow comes after the rain. It does get better.
Not to be a whiner, but 2025 for me was comical levels of ####ed... One child was in and out of hospital and had to go for a battery of tests with reoccurring discomfort after the entire entire family had pneumonia. The other child, completely unrelated to the pneumonia, let's just say there were about 6-8 months were there was worry that we as parents might potentially be burying a child. Work stress for both spouses... is it normal to not have work stress? But yeah, we both had some unique and crazy work stresses that people don't typically have for months on end. Stresses from life stuff such as this has hit my wife hard, long story short, she got scolded by the doctor and she has to address some lifestyle stuff immediately or she's going on medication to prevent serious threat to life risks. A break in/petty theft happened. This bull#### ride excludes random other random "normal" daily stresses in general that still happened (ie: vehicle issues, finances, illnesses, visiting friends and family unexpectedly in hospital, repairs/renos, activities etc.)
As of January this year... Specialists have no clue what ails both children, but ruled out all concerns with threats to life. Yay! Work... the water ain't as choppy as last year... for now. As the wind blows. Lifestyle changes, working at those with the wife. We doing a bunch of self care exercise stuff. She really gets on my case when she's the one who needs it more, but I'm lucky she cares about my well being. Average sleep at night might be a few hours higher per week. Yawn. And a bunch of the typical life stuff is less stressful now than a few months ago. Like relief after avoiding catastrophe on a motor bike with the wobbles. Things are better and still pushing hard towards being even better.
I ain't relaxing yet, but things are certainly a heck of a lot brighter right now than a few months ago. A few victories goes a long way to give momentum to get out of an ice rut to drive out of the bull#### blizzard and just like when it rains, it pours, little victories can also come fast. I typed up some of these thoughts in this thread a few times over the last few months, but didn't post it. Typing it out made me feel better. I know I have posts that are a lot and it just seemed comically impossible to basically have a thesis of crazy things as to why my 2025 sucked.
I also didn't want most people that interact with me to change the way they behave. For my wife and I, having groups of people that behave like things are totally normal was a bit more cathartic than having all friend groups be like, "OMG. I'm here for you." if that makes sense. Normalcy was part of the mental help we were striving for and we did have a support group we shared these struggles with.
I still got a bit more driving out of the bull#### blizzard to go, but probably this summer, I'm going to take some time to sit down and address stuff in a similar manner to the Bill Burr clip. But for now, still want to continue to be semi numb and march forward as fast as possible to get a bit further out of the bull#### blizzard before letting my guard down.
For sure though, I know it's better and it's going to get better. The windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror.
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