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Old 01-06-2026, 04:26 PM   #1281
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Haha. Years ago when I worked in our Red Deer shop it was similar. No issue running the diesel engines inside on the trucks and also the equipment they powered. But you had to go outside to smoke.
Ugh...it was awful. I developed the disgusting habit of spitting because the diesel fumes were coating my mouth and nose and to try and clear your mouth you'd spit and your spit was black.

Forget cigarettes I'm sure that little stint significantly shortened my life-span.
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Old 01-06-2026, 06:36 PM   #1282
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For what it’s worth, I ended up with my favourite therapist through my EFAP and talked to her for over a year. And her and the other I spoke with both had their own in person clinics where they charged clients… I imagine that’s common.
You shouldnt take my single anecdote and def worth a shot being free. I probably just got a dud and it was pretty it was a certain person causing the anxiety that i remedied soon after.
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Old 01-06-2026, 06:40 PM   #1283
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I cannot edit my post for some reason.

But whatever you do, do not tell your HR person anything. Confidentiality is not true. They work for them not you.
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Old 01-06-2026, 07:05 PM   #1284
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I cannot edit my post for some reason.

But whatever you do, do not tell your HR person anything. Confidentiality is not true. They work for them not you.
100%. The only party who needs any details is your benefit provider. They get info directly from the doctor. I think I hit the odds lottery on every aspect because my HR rep was adamant that I don’t tell him any details.
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Old 01-06-2026, 08:03 PM   #1285
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Also cold showers.

I did the EAP a while back when I hated my boss and basically never slept.

EAP was absolutely terrible and am not at all convinced it was confidential, especially with the monster who was our HR rep. Huge liar. Talked to her and she said its totally confidential, next day the bosses tone with me changed 180 degrees and repeating things I only had told her in confidential mode.

Whatever, but the EAP nurse (or whatever she was) spent the entire "session" trying to sell me on these naturopathic supplements for it, complete with a website to order it. WTF. Actually spent money buying some of them and trying them because I am an idiot, obviously to no avail. God I was annoyed. So I started lying to the HR moron that I was still using the EAP. It was free to the employee so you can bet it will be dogcrap service.
I can’t speak to all EAPs, however I’ve used the therapy offered from mine before and funnily enough it was my family doctors wife. She had reassured me, like any therapist, that the only time another person is notified is when there is immediate harm to yourself or others.

As for the quality of therapy I think it was good? I hope to never be an expert on ranking therapists or else things in my life have gone to ####.
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Old 01-06-2026, 08:12 PM   #1286
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Im a bit hesistant to ask for an update from displaced as those surgeries can be dicey. But am curious and thinking.
Shame on me for it not even crossing my mind that anyone would be concerned enough to wonder. I APOLOGIZE. Truly.

My wife is home. We learned she had a stroke during all of this. The impact seems to be limited to some minor cognitive impacts which should resolve with PT.. I don't remember what all I said in my original post but may have to have mitral valve replacement once we are finished with the course of antibiotics. Will have another echo to see if the valve went back to normal after the infection clears.

Today is her birthday actually. We had a good evening and we are both eternally grateful to anyone who emitted any positive energy our way through this. I am not a religious person, but I don't think that stuff is nothing.

Thank you for caring.
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Old 01-06-2026, 08:17 PM   #1287
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It was free to the employee so you can bet it will be dogcrap service.
Paying for something doesn't mean it's better either. I gave that "BetterHelp" online therapy service a shot - and it was absolutely terrible. 100% American "therapists" of questionable training an experience - definitely C listers. Dude had a "United Federation of Planets" flag behind him which could have been positive if he was any good to begin with. Bailed on booked sessions for family emergencies, which I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Horrendously expensive at like $400CAD a month.

I might have well used ChatGPT for all the benefit I got out of that.

Last edited by I-Hate-Hulse; 01-06-2026 at 08:22 PM.
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Old 01-06-2026, 08:27 PM   #1288
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I can’t speak to all EAPs, however I’ve used the therapy offered from mine before and funnily enough it was my family doctors wife. She had reassured me, like any therapist, that the only time another person is notified is when there is immediate harm to yourself or others.

As for the quality of therapy I think it was good? I hope to never be an expert on ranking therapists or else things in my life have gone to ####.
In fairness, my understanding of the entire thing is that its not about 'quality' as much as it's about 'fit.'

There are some therapists that are fantastic...but maybe just not for you or your particular issue.

A really good therapist would likely say something along the lines of:

"I understand your problems but we're not making progress, perhaps this person would be more in tune with you."

Unfortunately, that 'other person' may not be covered under the EAP and then that becomes a whole other set of circumstances, but it may well be worth it.

I've seen it through various clients with therapists and, oddly enough, anxiety and ADD medications. Theres lots out there, its about finding the right fit. It's not a 'one-size-fits-all' kind of deal.

Again, unfortunately, if you're unwilling or unable to pay...you are sort of stuck with what you get.
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Old 01-06-2026, 08:39 PM   #1289
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That’s my understanding too Locke, for me it was easy to open up to her because I had already known her, her husband and son for 30+ years. I can see how I wouldn’t have benefitted from therapy if I didnt feel comfortable with her, so I lucked out.
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Old 01-06-2026, 08:59 PM   #1290
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That’s my understanding too Locke, for me it was easy to open up to her because I had already known her, her husband and son for 30+ years. I can see how I wouldn’t have benefitted from therapy if I didnt feel comfortable with her, so I lucked out.
See...and this is entirely personal preference.

If I went to a Doctor or Therapist and knew them and their family for 30+ years I probably wouldnt tell them sweet #### all. Honesty would be well out the window and then the whole thing is useless.

Thats half the benefit of a therapist...they're effectively a highly qualified stranger.

But thats entirely up to how that relationship works between Professional and Patient. If it works for you...then fantastic! But it might not work for everyone in a similar position.
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Old 01-09-2026, 12:01 PM   #1291
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Shame on me for it not even crossing my mind that anyone would be concerned enough to wonder. I APOLOGIZE. Truly.

My wife is home. We learned she had a stroke during all of this. The impact seems to be limited to some minor cognitive impacts which should resolve with PT.. I don't remember what all I said in my original post but may have to have mitral valve replacement once we are finished with the course of antibiotics. Will have another echo to see if the valve went back to normal after the infection clears.

Today is her birthday actually. We had a good evening and we are both eternally grateful to anyone who emitted any positive energy our way through this. I am not a religious person, but I don't think that stuff is nothing.

Thank you for caring.
Thanks for the update, DFF. Glad you guys got to celebrate her birthday together. Hope the recovery road ahead is not too difficult, and you both get the energy and help you need along the way.
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Old 01-09-2026, 12:20 PM   #1292
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There is also the Primary Care Network which is accessed through your GP. They do have Therapists, Psychiatrists and Psyhologists (I believe) that they can refer you to and is paid for by Alberta Health. Ask your GP about that.

Also, Start with your GP, they may have other resources to refer you to.
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Old 01-21-2026, 12:15 PM   #1293
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So it appears today is Bell Let’s Talk Day.

I just randomly saw an ad online late last night. Otherwise have heard zero about it this year.

My mental health has taken a beating the last year. Internal and external. It just feels the world is mired in negative news all the time now and kind of given up on supporting those disenfranchised.

Perhaps evidenced by this day getting minimal coverage.

Hope everyone is doing ok out there, and it’s my personal dark cloud that’s clouded my outlook and left the world a dreary mess that I don’t know how much longer I’ll be a part of.
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Old 01-21-2026, 02:03 PM   #1294
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So it appears today is Bell Let’s Talk Day.

I just randomly saw an ad online late last night. Otherwise have heard zero about it this year.

My mental health has taken a beating the last year. Internal and external. It just feels the world is mired in negative news all the time now and kind of given up on supporting those disenfranchised.

Perhaps evidenced by this day getting minimal coverage.

Hope everyone is doing ok out there, and it’s my personal dark cloud that’s clouded my outlook and left the world a dreary mess that I don’t know how much longer I’ll be a part of.
Bell Let's Talk is the worst. Slogany phony marketing nonsense. Let's talk about me slapping you upside the head you dork who hashtagged Let's talk disingenuous nonsense.

This suicide was brought to you by Warner Brothers!

But I guess I was being flippant to you in that reply. You better DM me if that's the place you are. I will give you my number. I get there sometimes too. It will be alright. We are all a little nuts.

Last edited by fotze2; 01-21-2026 at 02:10 PM.
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Old 01-22-2026, 11:08 AM   #1295
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So it appears today is Bell Let’s Talk Day.

I just randomly saw an ad online late last night. Otherwise have heard zero about it this year.

My mental health has taken a beating the last year. Internal and external. It just feels the world is mired in negative news all the time now and kind of given up on supporting those disenfranchised.

Perhaps evidenced by this day getting minimal coverage.

Hope everyone is doing ok out there, and it’s my personal dark cloud that’s clouded my outlook and left the world a dreary mess that I don’t know how much longer I’ll be a part of.
A couple of years ago Let's Talk Day was all over social media, now I barely heard about it either...
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Old 01-22-2026, 05:00 PM   #1296
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For what it’s worth, I ended up with my favourite therapist through my EFAP and talked to her for over a year. And her and the other I spoke with both had their own in person clinics where they charged clients… I imagine that’s common.
That had to be one hell of a counselling session! Most appointments last an hour or so.
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Old 01-27-2026, 02:54 PM   #1297
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#####e. I posted somewhere I reached out the organ transplant org to see if I can ever figure out who died for me. Seemed promising. Just pure curiosity (? foreshadowing). Back and forth for a couple months. Sounded promising.

Just got a note saying they are unable to find it, dead end. It really doesn't matter and I totally expected I wouldn't be sad. But that reply has busted me up. I am such a fataing idiot for going down that road with such a great likelihood it would be a deadend. Just figured I wouldn't care. But apparently I do, now.

Did the family receive my letter of thanks and said beat it or just cannot trace? Which is totally cool. Anonymity makes total sense, but it has busted me up and I am trying to keep it together.

"You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really Hurts"

#idiot
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Old 01-27-2026, 03:28 PM   #1298
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#####e. I posted somewhere I reached out the organ transplant org to see if I can ever figure out who died for me. Seemed promising. Just pure curiosity (? foreshadowing). Back and forth for a couple months. Sounded promising.

Just got a note saying they are unable to find it, dead end. It really doesn't matter and I totally expected I wouldn't be sad. But that reply has busted me up. I am such a fataing idiot for going down that road with such a great likelihood it would be a deadend. Just figured I wouldn't care. But apparently I do, now.

Did the family receive my letter of thanks and said beat it or just cannot trace? Which is totally cool. Anonymity makes total sense, but it has busted me up and I am trying to keep it together.

"You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really Hurts"

#idiot
Have they checked the cemetery?
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Old 01-27-2026, 03:30 PM   #1299
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Have they checked the cemetery?
Of course they have, but in this day and age of high inflation a man can't walk around at night carrying a shovel without an inquisition anymore!
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Old 01-27-2026, 04:13 PM   #1300
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#####e. I posted somewhere I reached out the organ transplant org to see if I can ever figure out who died for me. Seemed promising. Just pure curiosity (? foreshadowing). Back and forth for a couple months. Sounded promising.

Just got a note saying they are unable to find it, dead end. It really doesn't matter and I totally expected I wouldn't be sad. But that reply has busted me up. I am such a fataing idiot for going down that road with such a great likelihood it would be a deadend. Just figured I wouldn't care. But apparently I do, now.

Did the family receive my letter of thanks and said beat it or just cannot trace? Which is totally cool. Anonymity makes total sense, but it has busted me up and I am trying to keep it together.

"You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really Hurts"

#idiot
FWIW, I am an organ donor. My immediate and extended family are aware of my decision and support it. Most everyone I know who is an organ donor is the same. Not one person I have asked would expect a thank you letter, nor would I expect one for the relatives of mine who are organ donors. If it helps, I look at it as..."I'm dead, I don't need the organs anymore, and someone else does." That perspective holds true across the donors I know. Don't think of it as "This person died for me"...they did not. The donor died, for whatever reason took them, and with their death, you get to live a bit more. It should be more an additional reason to live for, not be upset that "someone died for me".

I have already thought about it and reconciled myself to the fact that when I pass, any usable organs of mine will go to people on 'the list'. I won't know those people. Anything about them. At all. Other than their need is great enough to be on 'the list' in the first place. That's good enough for me, and I hope that any and everyone who gets my organs lives a good and long life as well.

That knowledge is all I need, as a donor. Frankly...you can't find me to 'thank me' as I'm dead. You are going to have to attempt to live up to my hope that you live a good life. That would be thanks enough.
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