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Old 12-31-2024, 10:02 AM   #61
Matt Reeeeead
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Some people are simply controlling sociopaths that aren’t going to take yo therapy otr believe they are the problem.

I’m not saying this guy definitely was; however, i know people that grew up with him and this didn’t come completely out of nowhere based on his personality.




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Old 12-31-2024, 10:10 AM   #62
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I wouldn't say I'm happy. But growing up with a father who murdered your mother and grandfather likely isn't a great life either.

Was he a victim who didn't get the mental health support he needed and it resulted in tragedy? Possibly.

Was he an abusive a****** who put on a good show for the public and finally actually killed his wife? Also possible.

We need better mental health supports AND better support for victims of domestic violence and at this point, we really don't know which situation is the case here. Possibly both.
100%. It’s always kind of icky to rush to conclusions on either side, whether it’s “we need better support for men’s mental health!” or “I’m glad this POS killed himself!” End of the day, we don’t know anything about the why of it (might never know the whole story).

It’s an un-relatable situation for basically everyone. Regardless of how they found him, the kids would have been growing up without their parents and grandpa. I’m not sure there’s a specific way they lose their dad that would be a whole lot better than another, but the possibility of closure is definitely gone.
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Old 12-31-2024, 01:22 PM   #63
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A friend has set up a GoFundMe for the kids, and it is already over 100k.

Jan 2 update: approaching 250k, beautiful to see.
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Old 12-31-2024, 01:55 PM   #64
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This just makes the point that it is not normalized. I agree with you and I work in a 'professional' setting. It needs to get to the point that it is as regular as going to the dentist. Will it? Maybe not even in my lifetime. And that is sad.
I think there is some progress on that front. I used to work in oil, and now work in tech. Things skew notably more progressive on all fronts, and one thing I've noticed is that I've had a boss and several employees now talk openly about their mental health therapy, just as if they were going to the dentist as you mention. It's really nice to have that in the open, because when things are going poorly at work, the door is open to ask how they are doing mentally and get genuine answers, which is often a huge part of working through the work issues they are having and enables a more empathetic approach for everyone.
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Old 12-31-2024, 02:57 PM   #65
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Turns out the victim taught one of my kids a few years back.
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Old 12-31-2024, 02:59 PM   #66
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100%. It’s always kind of icky to rush to conclusions on either side, whether it’s “we need better support for men’s mental health!” or “I’m glad this POS killed himself!” End of the day, we don’t know anything about the why of it (might never know the whole story).

It’s an un-relatable situation for basically everyone. Regardless of how they found him, the kids would have been growing up without their parents and grandpa. I’m not sure there’s a specific way they lose their dad that would be a whole lot better than another, but the possibility of closure is definitely gone.
On the plus side, they don't have to spend a significant portion of their lives worrying about him deciding to kill them next. There is a certain amount of closure in that.
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:01 PM   #67
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It's also good to hear that the grandma is still alive and sounds like she will be taking over care of the children.
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:08 PM   #68
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I haven't seriously used FB in over a decade now, but don't you have to actively go out of your way in the settings labyrinth to allow randos to comment on your photos and activity, or to post on your feed, etc.?
I thought it was the other way around that you have to lock it down to prevent it. I'm not sure though. Definitely creepy how many people are commenting on his and her old photos.
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:30 PM   #69
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I’m not saying this guy definitely was; however, i know people that grew up with him and this didn’t come completely out of nowhere based on his personality.
I've never gone through the process myself, but my understanding of Canadian Gun License laws is that you provide three references who vouch that you're someone who should own a gun.

If this is true, then whoever was a reference for this person, in contrast to just about all the online chatter about this person, and allowed this person to become a gun owner, should be made an example of and publically charged with perjury and accessory to murder.
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:32 PM   #70
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It's also good to hear that the grandma is still alive and sounds like she will be taking over care of the children.
The grandfather was in his seventies, so that suggests she may be in the same age range.
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:41 PM   #71
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I've never gone through the process myself, but my understanding of Canadian Gun License laws is that you provide three references who vouch that you're someone who should own a gun.

If this is true, then whoever was a reference for this person, in contrast to just about all the online chatter about this person, and allowed this person to become a gun owner, should be made an example of and publically charged with perjury and accessory to murder.
That seems extreme
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:44 PM   #72
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I've never gone through the process myself, but my understanding of Canadian Gun License laws is that you provide three references who vouch that you're someone who should own a gun.

If this is true, then whoever was a reference for this person, in contrast to just about all the online chatter about this person, and allowed this person to become a gun owner, should be made an example of and publically charged with perjury and accessory to murder.
I mean, that's a bit much. I've been a reference for someone before, and they don't ask you to make a recommendation. There are quite a few questions, but they're all about past behaviour, then one that's basically "is there anything else we should know".
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:47 PM   #73
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I was a firearms reference for someone a number of years ago. He’s a crazy maga pro Russia conspiracy theorist racist homophobic lunatic now but he was perfectly normal when I provided the reference.

Should I call the government back 8 years later and tell them there is something else they should know?
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Old 12-31-2024, 03:48 PM   #74
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Turns out the victim taught one of my kids a few years back.
https://calgary.ctvnews.ca/female-vi...cher-1.7161450

Didn't see it posted. Elementary school teacher.

Going to be devastating, especially for 5- and 6-year-olds coming back from holiday break and finding out their teacher was murdered.
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Old 12-31-2024, 04:02 PM   #75
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That seems extreme
Can only direct so much hate and disgust at a dead guy. Must find alive people.
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Old 12-31-2024, 04:19 PM   #76
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Although I have no evidence to suggest anything in this particular case, there does seem to be a pattern of very violent and devastating murder/suicides involving parents and their children if there is a divorce/custody case.

People lose their minds in divorce/custody battles, try and extract maximum damage of a former spouse or partner and things just go south and become violent/deadly.

I really think it's important for legal teams to actually be open and honest upfront. People who try and go for the jugular, promise to fight tooth and nail for no visitation rights, take every last nickle from their former partner and more should really be cautioned on the risks.

These type of tragic cases are happening a lot in Canada and I can't help but think that family breakdowns and long lasting court battles and fight till the death mentality may be playing a significant role here.

Just brutal for all involved.
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Old 12-31-2024, 04:36 PM   #77
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Some rather chilling details in this Herald article, from the brother of the wife

https://calgaryherald.com/news/local...ys-her-brother

Got into an argument over vegetable cutting

Tried to physically fight the brother

Wife makes decision to leave

Wife and husband argue over text for days

Mother in law returns home from volunteer gig to find her husband dead - it's probably sheer chance that she wasn't home, where she probably would have been killed

The brother believes that two of the kids saw their father shoot their mother, then drop them off at a relatives before heading off to kill himself.
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Old 12-31-2024, 04:44 PM   #78
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What a tragedy
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Old 12-31-2024, 05:10 PM   #79
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I mean, that's a bit much. I've been a reference for someone before, and they don't ask you to make a recommendation. There are quite a few questions, but they're all about past behaviour, then one that's basically "is there anything else we should know".
This is the kind of stuff people are saying about the guy on reddit in addition to the post I was quoting above:



I strongly question how this person was able to slip through the screening process without either someone lying on his behalf, or someone on the approval board not doing their due diligence. This was a licenced and legally purchased firearm responsible for two innocent lives.
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Old 12-31-2024, 05:36 PM   #80
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Can only direct so much hate and disgust at a dead guy. Must find alive people.
Every story needs a villain and we haven’t had any inappropriate jokes made yet.
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