Edmonton is No Good X: Up and Down Like a Toilet Seat

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by Blaster86

He's watched the Canucks put 8, 6 and 4 goals up on his team over 3 games at the very least. Not sure which one of those games has a bus parked.

The Oilers being unable to fill the net must mean there is an issue with the league.

[aaronck]

[QUOTE=FlamesAddiction;8881224]I hate it when people say this, but I really have to ask, does he even watch hockey?[/QUOT

I think he's much busier with his bathroom updates and healthcare portfolio...

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

I would but I don't actually have the requisite editing skill to make a video without it taking me an hour... but if anyone wants to take this, put in the 3 sharks goals in the first part, and then stick an Oiler logo on the coffin, Reddit will no doubt love you for it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GjSoDv3J0M

And if you want to put Holland, Woodcroft, Katz, Nicholson, McDavid and Draisaitl heads on the pall bearers, that'd be between you and your God.

... But seriously I will paypal someone 5 bucks if they make this. I am sure someone else will join me.

[Textcritic]

Originally Posted by aaronck

I think he's much busier with his bathroom updates and healthcare portfolio...

I am still absolutely gob-smacked that this was a real thing.

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[Jacks]

Originally Posted by Locke

He'll never get to Tosche Station for Power Converters at this rate!

Old news, off topic, but Hamill is pretty cool.

https://twitter.com/user/status/1343669303103479809

[D as in David]

Originally Posted by Jimdon

This is hilarious and very well done. For the people that can't laugh at themselves or appreciate the schadenfreude, lighten up. We all know the Flames are nothing to celebrate right now but I went to bed last night and woke up this morning with a smile on my face because f the Oilers.

If that is not the spirit of this thread then I don't know what is.

Although, I do feel safer knowing that there is someone here on this board policing internet meme's.

[Rejean31]

Originally Posted by Robbob

Is it just me, or is it weird that Sportsnet isn't playing the replay of the game this morning. They always replay the games they had the previous night in the morning.

Of course, they don't want to show their little darlings being embarassed over and over. They will just quietly sweep it under the rug.

[getbak]

Originally Posted by TheIronMaiden

I think most Oiler fans use a mirror for inspiration when they are jacking off.

NSFW!

[PuckSlap]

Originally Posted by getbak

NSFW!

I got 99 problems

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[Blaster86]

Originally Posted by PuckSlap

I got 99 problems

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But ED isn't one?

[dustygoon]

Guys!! The hell! You are messing with the good vibes in this thread. Half naked pics of 99. ED. Power converters! although Commander Skywalker is always cool i guess.

[cral12]

The hero they need...

https://twitter.com/user/status/1723053422033723415

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

If Edmonton were a business they would be an adult video store. Height of popularity in the 80s, general scuzzy vibe, and still barely hanging on to existence despite there being way better options.

And somewhere you pop into every 10-15 years and immediately wonder why you did

[BigFlameDog]

How did anyone, anywhere have these guys as Stanley Cup contenders with that D and goaltending? A lot of pundits should be embarrassed and in the future, ignored.

[CaptainCrunch]

Its one or two things with McDavid.

1) McDavid could be playing hurt, we know he had an injury that caused him to miss games. It would be sheer lunacy by the Oilers to be making him play through an injury that has made him look this bad. That alone should get someone fired.

Or

2) McDavid is banged up, but not "Injured", but the years of over playing him have added to a degradation of things that have made him special. His speed and ability to change direction. In the NHL these skills aren't a huge difference between stars and superstars. So a small degradation of speed or other skills will make him more ordinary.

3) Conna is sick of Edmonton, is sick of his black and white house, sick of banging his head on the ceiling when he plays basketball. Is put out by the fact that the team is this bad this late into his tenure with them. Hates Draisaitl's pissy expressions first thing in the morning. Is allergic to woodchuck fur which makes him sneeze whenever he's around Jay, and was charged full price for a Bobby Burger and holds a grudge over that.

It could be one of these, it could be all three.

I mean they can fire the coach. This is an organization that pulls the trigger on this pretty quickly. They can bring in a new coach, and the Oilers will snap to for a twitch. Then Conna and Draisaitl will play a little harder in their own backchecking roles, til they decide that its impacting their individual achievements. Then they'll say we're not doing that, we're not limiting our ice time, that the rest of the guys on the team can go F themselves and we're taking their ice time and playing our way.

For Jay getting fired isn't the end of the world. I mean he's got this year and next year at 2 million per. He can probably go back to the minors and juniors or get an assistance role someone, or just sit on the beach for a couple of years while Katz writes checks.

He won't have to bite his tongue when Conna and Leon slowly drift back on the back check. He won't have to wonder if there's any kind of brain scan that can be done on Bouchard and Nurse to see if there's actually functioning brain tissue in their heads. Won't have to deal with whiny mewling Oiler fans. Won't have to give two craps about what Staples says. Getting fired would be awesome for Jay.

For Katz, will he finally really and I mean really blow his stack. He has a GM that f'd up their cap situation to the point that no real trades can fix the team. Worse yet, the Oilers as an organization just don't have a lot of derpth, or prospects. When Katz and his son look at their roster all they can say is who the frick is that guy? Or, Isn't that guy dead? If not he should be?

And any day now Ken is going to stride into his office with a poop eating grin and say "Boss, I can fix this, we just need a new coach". And Katz who is probably sick of paying for players that aren't playing for the Oilers or coaches that aren't coaching is going to blow his god damned ever loving Oiler fan boy top.

And its going to be glorious.

So to conclude

• Leon doesn't care is is almost out of there.
• McDavid is hurt, doesn't care or slowing down.
• They don't have any miracles on the farm.
• They have a terrible blueline, apocalypse level terrible goalies and nothing in the bottom 6
• Their prospect base is poop.
• They're in a cap crunch
• Jay has another year and a half on his contract.

And its glorious.

[Textcritic]

Originally Posted by BigFlameDog

How did anyone, anywhere have these guys as Stanley Cup contenders with that D and goaltending? A lot of pundits should be embarrassed and in the future, ignored.

According to Marek and Freidman NO ONE saw this coming. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, and the entire hockey world is totally shocked that the Oilers are in last place.

Clearly, these guys do not read this thread.

[stemit14]

I wonder if oilers management is so hesitant to make a move because of McDavid’s injury. I’m starting to think he is not only injured but requires either surgery or some kind of long-term recovery period. They may have activated him under the understanding that he won’t 100% until he gets properly treated but likely won’t get worse. So the oilers wanted to see if their season could be saved with McDavid at say 70%.

Everyone thinks they’ll make a move for a goalie/defenceman but if they don’t win at least 5 of their next 6 games, the season is effectively over for them. They could make a trade now but it could likely involves their first round pick since teams know how desperate they are. If they make that trade and still struggle for the next week or so, it’s the worst case scenario for them - horrible season and no first round pick along with also likely losing Draisaitl to a trade demand. Followed shortly after by McDavid.


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[jg13]

Bumping these.

Originally Posted by jg13

If the Oilers miss the playoffs i'll donate $100 to CalgaryPuck and I really hope it happens.

Originally Posted by CedarMeter

I’ll donate a 1000.00 Book it, screen shot this. I’ll gladly do it.

[jg13]

double post.

[FlamesAddiction]

The Oilers should abandon that zone defense strategy. Their defensemen just aren't smart enough or coordinated enough to handle it. If you get them moving around just a little bit, they get so confused and scattered, and they all lose position.

I get why they are trying it though. They just don't have good enough individual defensemen to play man-to-man, but at this point, it couldn't possibly be worse.