Quote:
Originally Posted by GordonBlue
you forgot that there is also a percentage of the population that finds it difficult to have that discipline you speak of because of mental health issues.
also to the bolded.
you say nothing is better than being around someone who has made the commitment to health.
But it It can be insufferable to be around someone who has made that commitment as they won't shut up about it, or stop preaching to others about it. Almost evangelical in their zeal, like your post comes across as.
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Things only bother us when it triggers something we already carry within us that we don't want to look at/are ashamed of.
You're pointing a finger at me as an example for the wording of that little bit of that post (sadly disregarding the sympathetic parts of it) might be because it triggers something in you that you aren't happy about.
It's like a single guy/girl that hasn't had a date in a while walking past a happy couple and then cursing them for daring to be happy within their sight lines and perceiving it as insulting.
Is it really, though?
Yes, i think nothing feels better than being around people actively improving themselves or choosing to grow because it DOES feel good, if that's what you want too.
IMO it's better than the vibe of people who are mired in stagnancy and who have given up on trying or settled and are unwilling or afraid to take any action (often for mental reasons). That kind of environment doesn't foster good feelings because that kind of circle keeps you there too. You may even love them as people, but at the same time know in your gut that they aren't good for you. It's hard to peel away from people that won't help themselves and chances are they won't support you if you do because it changes the group dynamic and forces them to look at where they are at if you're improving.
With people who are focused on helping themselves, chances are they WILL actually support you. They're filling their own cup so they'll be more willing to give and share. Those are healthy connections to have, compared to the alternative.
Rather than cursing people for daring to speak about things like fitness or happiness or self improvement and seeing it as insufferable, maybe ask yourself why that triggers you so much. Maybe they're not really the jerks, but your perception of them is what's making them that for you.
As for mental health, ironically the best advice I've gotten from a therapist is that taking action (any kind) is what cures the lack of belief/stuckness that comes with depression. The confidence you get just from making a move and doing something is more effective than any amount of thinking, because that depressive thought momentum paralyzes you. Those of us that are raving about these things do because that's what is/has been helping us. And at least for myself, we want to help others. And I'm very far yet from where I'd like to be either.
Do you think people who talk about these things haven't been through their share of mental health struggles? See, this is the thing. You're actually being empathized with, not talked down to. Unless it's the odd case where the person really is that pompous.
That cynical/jaded view will not help you go anywhere though. I can attest to that because whenever I was in that place it kept me stuck and in a negative state where i couldnt start anything. Its hard to when you are there. Instead trying to see people (even the evangelical self improvement kind) as your comrades and seeing the world as friendly and helpful, it will start to be that for you.
You will find exactly what you look for that confirms your framing of things. If how it is now is not helping you, man.. that has to change first.
But this just my $.02 and you're obviously under no obligation to take it.
But surely it's a better thought than living in this space where people are jerks for talking about positive change. But I have to say it never served me when I thought that way, so I hope you're able to find a softer and more open perspective one day.
There's obviously some pain behind your reply so I wish you the best either way.
