The Ongoing "Am I the %^&hole?" Thread

[Scroopy Noopers]

Are you people serious about bill splitting? It’s the laziest stupidest thing to do when out with friends. Pay for what you ordered. You want to order an appetizer for the table? Great. That’s nice. But nobody should be subsidizing your meal and drinks.

[Strange Brew]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

Well that’s dumb. Those aren’t the only two options. But it also makes you a chump if you enjoy paying for other peoples fancy vacations while you eat soup.

Kinda sounds like you’re just too afraid to speak up for yourself because you’re so afraid of looking cheap, even if it means you pay double to subsidize someone else taking advantage of you.

Also sounds like you need better friends.

Wow Cecil that’s a little heavy on the insults and name calling. You’re better than that.

[nfotiu]

If it’s two couples or a couple and a third wheel, why wouldn’t you just ask for separate checks if there is any chance of controversy? I’ve never seen a server get bothered by splitting a table of 3 or 4 2 ways.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by Pizza

or that he's someone who isnt petty about meal choices of his friends and just would rather enjoy the company of his friends over a meal than spending the energy concerning if he's being taken advantage of

if you're being this aggressive on a AITA thread, it sounds more and more likely that you're the sofa guy, to which I say, your married friends need a better travelling friend

Haha. Ok now I actually feel bad for you guys if you’re regularly paying hundreds of dollars extra to cover for your friends extravagant meals. You need to either join in or find friends who can afford their own food.

But if you’re also offended that you think this is aggressive, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry that discussion offends your delicate sensibilities. I have never travelled with a couple and shared accommodations, nor do I have any plans on doing so. Sorry to burst your bubble! Like I said, this topic seems to touch a nerve with you and some others.

[Pizza]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

Are you people serious about bill splitting? It’s the laziest stupidest thing to do when out with friends. Pay for what you consumed.

You realise that not all Restaurant meals are broken down in single entrees ordered on an individual basis.

Ever gone for Asian group dinners, dim sum, tapas, southern bbq platters? those are some examples of where plates are shared with your table

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by Strange Brew

Wow Cecil that’s a little heavy on the insults and name calling. You’re better than that.

Well come on, you’re just lying if you claim that you would happily let your “friends” walk all over you and order all the most expensive things on the menu and then stiff you with half the bill and you’d just go along with it because you’re worried about being perceived as being seen as cheap.

Maybe once you might do it to avoid making a scene but you’d be crazy to ever go out with them again if that’s how they treat you.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by Strange Brew

I guess I’d rather vacation with champagne and lobster couple and just order my own nice meal than the person counting how many nachos I had.

The sofa guy isn’t getting taken advantage of. He’s the one looking for an angle IMO.

Maybe it’s the inability of people to do simple math of adding up what they order and applying tax and tip that causes a problem but I don’t see any reason for people not to pay for what they eat.

Though at a small plates and sharing type place I would agree that splitting non-booze makes sense.

[Pizza]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

Haha. Ok now I actually feel bad for you guys if you’re regularly paying hundreds of dollars extra to cover for your friends extravagant meals. You need to either join in or find friends who can afford their own food.

But if you’re also offended that you think this is aggressive, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry that discussion offends your delicate sensibilities. I have never travelled with a couple and shared accommodations, nor do I have any plans on doing so. Sorry to burst your bubble! Like I said, this topic seems to touch a nerve with you and some others.

Yeah, I'm not the one who's offended. I just noticed that from a reasonable response from Strange brew, you've attacked him with:

it also makes you a chump

you’re so afraid of looking cheap

sounds like you need better friends

getting that aggressive seems that you're the one who's nerve got touched. Sounds like you're not used to AITA threads so my suggestion is you should probably stay away from them if you're not willing to accept judgement, sofa guy

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Ooh sick burn. How will I ever recover? Lol.

[nfotiu]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

Well come on, you’re just lying if you claim that you would happily let your “friends” walk all over you and order all the most expensive things on the menu and then stiff you with half the bill and you’d just go along with it because you’re worried about being perceived as being seen as cheap.

Maybe once you might do it to avoid making a scene but you’d be crazy to ever go out with them again if that’s how they treat you.

Maybe I'm just always the one getting the more expensive dinner and drinks, but I can't recall going out with many people like you describe or any really.

It seems like the most controversy is from work acquaintances in a big table who can't add, or forget taxes or think 5% tip is ok.

Groups of friends who are drinking usually over pay if there's a single bill.

If it's just another couple, then separate checks are usually the norm unless one side is buying.

I've never known anyone who purposefully runs up the check in hopes of having others subsidize it.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Vacation with friends who have similar tastes in hotels, restaurants and activities.

Not all good friends are good travel companions and different budgets/tastes for travel becomes awkward for everyone and can lead to unnecessary animosity.

In both examples given, sofa guy wasn't willing to pay their fair share so is likely traveling with the wrong friends and outside their means.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

Ooh sick burn. How will I ever recover? Lol.

By growing up?

[ResAlien]

Poor sofa guy Cecil. That went really well I think.

[OutOfTheCube]

Solution: Don't have any friends.

[indes]

Can't say I've ever had an issue with separate bills, everyone just pays for what they ordered. Unless someone is grabbing the bill I don't see why you would split the bill by percentages.

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by Pizza

You realise that not all Restaurant meals are broken down in single entrees ordered on an individual basis.

Ever gone for Asian group dinners, dim sum, tapas, southern bbq platters? those are some examples of where plates are shared with your table

Well that is obviously different, no?

And would you expect your friend who doesn’t drink to pitch in on alcohol for the table? I wouldn’t, because (in the theme of the thread) I’m not an #######.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Did someone say sofa guy? I’ve always wanted to be the guy on the couch.

[Amethyst]

The ####### is the one that asks his/her friend to choose the downtown place in exchange for sleeping on the sofa and then when things are agreed to, starts nickel and diming his/her friend to death because they have a better bed.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

I don’t think I’ve literally ever had to do complex math to split a restaurant bill. Either it’s been pre-split by seat or we just ballpark what our part of it plus tip is, and everyone always estimates higher than what they actually owe.

As for Cecil he’s always like this, but I don't think he's wrong about sofa guy. Sofa guy pays 1/3 in that situation. I don't even know what the conversation would be otherwise... I mean how much more money could you possibly be trying to extract from your friends? How much less would you actually pay going from 1/3 to 1/4? Maybe that saves you $100, tops, at the expense of having to have that discussion and awkwardness and having your friends think less of you? Why do that to yourself?

[Cecil Terwilliger]

I just thought it was an interesting discussion. I did not expect people would get this angry and defensive about it. I love discussing Seinfeld/Larry David type scenarios.

So yes, I’m always like this in the sense I am not afraid to have pointless life etiquette discussions.

If you guys knew what really happened, you’d flip ####. It’s way worse than the scenarios I presented, which I already tried to tone down to create a more balanced scenario.