Do you consider "homemaker" to be a job?

[Slava]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Yeah it's weird when your family gets a pet you don't want. We have a dwarf hamster we're all a little tired of, which I called before we even got it. He's a biter. Trying to find him his forever home right now, but nobody really wants an old dwarf hamster who isn't even that small...more like a normal hamster. Going on almost two years with this thing. Thought it'd be dead by now so it's a bit of a downer.

That could be the funniest sentence I’ve ever read on this site. It’s at least top ten!

[CliffFletcher]

Hamster story:

Daughter is 7. She has a hamster. Let’s it run around its ball-thingy in her room and sometimes forgets to put it back in its cage.

It’s Christmas Eve. Late afternoon. Kids are tobogganing behind the house. I bring a hamper of laundry up to my daughter’s room. Step through the door. Feel my foot strike something. Hear a clatter. Set the hamper down and look on the floor.

It’s the hamster ball. I booted it good. Open the ball and examine hamster. It’s ####ed up. Twitching. I gently carry it over to its cage and nestle it in shavings. Try to make it look like it’s sleeping. With flecks of blood on its chest. Probably massive internal damage. I shut the bedroom door and go downstairs.

Daughter tumbles in from tobogganing, rosey-cheeked and burbling. We have hot chocolate. The turkey roasts in the oven. It’s Christmas Eve.

She goes upstairs to her room. My wife and I look at each other. Hoping.

Then my daughter starts crying. On Christmas Eve.

[chemgear]

[GGG]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

Hamster story:

Daughter is 7. She has a hamster. Let’s it run around its ball-thingy in her room and sometimes forgets to put it back in its cage.

It’s Christmas Eve. Late afternoon. Kids are tobogganing behind the house. I bring a hamper of laundry up to my daughter’s room. Step through the door. Feel my foot strike something. Hear a clatter. Set the hamper down and look on the floor.

It’s the hamster ball. I booted it good. Open the ball and examine hamster. It’s ####ed up. Twitching. I gently carry it over to its cage and nestle it in shavings. Try to make it look like it’s sleeping. With flecks of blood on its chest. Probably massive internal damage. I shut the bedroom door and go downstairs.

Daughter tumbles in from tobogganing, rosey-cheeked and burbling. We have hot chocolate. The turkey roasts in the oven. It’s Christmas Eve.

She goes upstairs to her room. My wife and I look at each other. Hoping.

Then my daughter starts crying. On Christmas Eve.

Did you tell her you murdered her hamster?

[woob]

CliffFletcher
Hamster Killer

[Cecil Terwilliger]

What were you and your wife hoping for? That she wouldn’t notice until Christmas morning? Would that somehow be better? That she wouldn’t notice at all and it’s rotting corpse would stay in her room for weeks? That she’d go to pick him up a few days later and think she did it?

You’re a murderer Cliff, that much is clear. Also, don’t give sliver any ideas on how to rid himself of his rodent problem.

[nfotiu]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Yeah it's weird when your family gets a pet you don't want. We have a dwarf hamster we're all a little tired of, which I called before we even got it. He's a biter. Trying to find him his forever home right now, but nobody really wants an old dwarf hamster who isn't even that small...more like a normal hamster. Going on almost two years with this thing. Thought it'd be dead by now so it's a bit of a downer.

We very spontaneously rescued these 2 from an abandoned litter 9 months ago.



They are each 80 pound satans now who have turned our lives upside down, but we all love them like our family. There are many days we've considered moving out and leaving the house to them though!

[CaptainYooh]

Ever had to catch a runaway hamster in a big house when you don’t know where he is? Ask me.

/the sea was angry that day, my friends…/

[nfotiu]

Originally Posted by CaptainYooh

Ever had to catch a runaway hamster in a big house when you don’t know where he is? Ask me.

/the sea was angry that day, my friends…/

I heard some sounds coming from the guest room one day, went into the closet and found a hamster with a collection of random food like things and 3x3 inch hole in the carpet he was turning into his home. We all had no idea he wasn't still happily living in the cage in my son's room.

[CaptainYooh]

I returned home from being away at the cottage for the weekend and the hamster was not in her cage. Neighbour who was feeding it said that she jumped out on him and disappeared two days ago. Poop balls on the stairs were going down to the basement. I’ve set up a bucket with a 2x4 leading to the bucket top and lined it with food. In the middle of the night, I’ve heard a thud and rushed in there. The darn thing was sitting in the bucket looking at me like nothing happened. I clearly recall feeling like a large game hunter with the fallen prey at my feet. Couldn’t stop laughing for a day, it was so hilarious.

[nfotiu]

Originally Posted by CaptainYooh

I returned home from being away at the cottage for the weekend and the hamster was not in her cage. Neighbour who was feeding it said that she jumped out on him and disappeared two days ago. Poop balls on the stairs were going down to the basement. I’ve set up a bucket with a 2x4 leading to the bucket top and lined it with food. In the middle of the night, I’ve heard a thud and rushed in there. The darn thing was sitting in the bucket looking at me like nothing happened. I clearly recall feeling like a large game hunter with the fallen prey at my feet. Couldn’t stop laughing for a day, it was so hilarious.

Our guy was very tidy in the closet. There was a little chest of drawers in the closet, and all his poop was in the corner under the little overhang of the drawers. His food collection was all in another area, and I guess the hole he made in the carpet was going to be his little burrow. The noise of digging in the carpet gave him away, otherwise who knows how long he could have had his happy little life of freedom.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by GGG

Did you tell her you murdered her hamster?

I came clean. Resisted the urge to cast the blame on her for leaving the hamster in its ball.

Turned out Christmas was a good time for it to happen, because with the gifts and excitement she forgot about the hamster. Mostly. Now it has become a family legend, with my boot of the hamster ball growing more reckless and brutal every year.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

What were you and your wife hoping for? That she wouldn’t notice until Christmas morning? Would that somehow be better? That she wouldn’t notice at all and it’s rotting corpse would stay in her room for weeks? That she’d go to pick him up a few days later and think she did it?

You’re a murderer Cliff, that much is clear. Also, don’t give sliver any ideas on how to rid himself of his rodent problem.

Just hoping to get through the day and maybe have my daughter think it was a peaceful, natural death. It was Christmas - what’s one more white lie?

[CroFlames]

Ruthless Hamster Killer.

New customer user title.

[TorqueDog]

Guys guys guys... c'mon, it was an unintentional hamster killing.

His user title should be "Involuntary Hamslaughter".

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by GGG

Did you tell her you murdered her hamster?

Doesn't sound like it was intentional, so not murder. Manslaughter at most.

Or in this case, "HamsterSlaughter"

Looks like TorqueDog beat me to the punch on this one. I do agree that would be a great custom user title.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by TorqueDog

Guys guys guys... c'mon, it was an unintentional hamster killing.

His user title should be "Involuntary Hamslaughter".

Hamsterball Lecturer.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by TorqueDog

Guys guys guys... c'mon, it was an unintentional hamster killing.

His user title should be "Involuntary Hamslaughter".

Mods?

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

Mods?

You don't get to pick your nickname T-Bone

[TorqueDog]

I'll donate $20 to the site if they make that his title.