Do you consider "homemaker" to be a job?

[Slava]

Originally Posted by metallicat

I think the one thing everyone has glossed over is that sliver is considering getting a cat again. The same sliver that borderline abused his old cat by keeping it in the garage and then getting rid of it because it "was a dud".

I have to admit, saying that the cat was “a dud” is just hilarious to me. I have a cat (or my family does, very similar to Sliver), and they’re all duds. In my case it’s more than a garage cat, and I’d prefer we didn’t have it.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

There are no bad cats. Only bad cat owners.

[Calgary Highlander]

Interesting thread topic. My wife and I have a two year old and a 9-month old. We decided that until the kids are in school that she would be a stay-at-home parent. It seemed to make financial sense plus a "better" experience for our kids growing up with a full time parent for their early childhood years. She didn't have a career before we had kids and I'd say being a mom is definitely her calling. I'm happy that our kids get to grow up like this and even once they're in school, if we can continue afford to get by on a single income, then it may make sense for her to keep staying at home, being involved in their after school activities, being involved at their school with PTAs, field trips etc. It will depend on what she wants to do once the kids are in school as well as our financial situation at the time. I do think time spent as a family and time spent with your kids is worth more than luxury cars, vacations, clothes, tech etc. that come with multiple incomes. This of course all assumes that you can meet your basic needs with one income (not the case ordinarily but I have to assume this is the case for most of CP).

I have a fairly high stress job. I do find myself putting in a lot of "extra effort" into my professional success knowing that we're going to be on a single income for the next 5-ish years. I appreciate that my wife takes care of everything at home (though I try to help out and not take it for granted).

All this to say everyone has different perspectives on parenting, careers, finances, etc. What works for some may not work for others. Interesting to read so many different takes in this thread. Most of them are different, all of them make sense.

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

There are no bad cats. Only bad cat owners.

Or conversely all cats are bad. They're aloof and borderline spiteful.

Note that doesn't mean you should mistreat them, because you should expect a cat to be a cat.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

I was just playing off the old adage about dogs.

Cats are evil and undoubtedly Satan’s spawn. I think it’s why we get along so well.

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

I was just playing off the old adage about dogs.

Cats are evil and undoubtedly Satan’s spawn. I think it’s why we get along so well.

Oh for sure, I understood that. But I though the true nature of cats was worth a comment.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by bizaro86

Or conversely all cats are bad. They're aloof and borderline spiteful.

Note that doesn't mean you should mistreat them, because you should expect a cat to be a cat.

Who's mistreating cats?

[RogerWilco]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Have you taught your kids to clean up after themselves and make their own lunches? My middle schooler and high schooler are net assets to the running of the house; not net negatives. They'll help with meals and all the other chores. They know how to cook and bake. They mow the lawn.

Were you still working a bit during Covid (you said slowed down)? A homemaker doesn't have the additional responsibility of an actual job, so perhaps you were doing two jobs.

Also, I have noticed some homemakers don't teach their kids how to be adults. Ours pitch in. Ours do their laundry (folding, putting away). They help me change tires over for winter. They help me winterize the trailer. Basically, I have 18 years with them to teach them everything I know. I don't get how 14-16 years in they're still a lot of work for you. Were you not teaching them how to do things all along the way?

Do you have any idea how time consuming it is to make the perfect martini from the Home Makers Hand Book? It normally takes me about seven before I can move onto the margaritas. The day flies by, there just isn't enough time.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

When does the working parent rest?

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Basically, I have 18 years with them to teach them everything I know. I don't get how 14-16 years in they're still a lot of work for you. Were you not teaching them how to do things all along the way?

Yeah, that’s another reason I would never go the paid cleaning route. I consider teaching my kids discipline and self-reliance around doing their laundry, cleaning bathrooms, doing dishes, etc to be core parental duties. If they can’t do all that stuff on their own when they move out, I’ll consider myself a failure as a parent. Because they won’t be earning enough when they move out to pay someone to do it.

People liked the heck out of a post up-thread where a guy expected his girlfriend to do all the cleaning and cooking. How much of that is on the guy, and how much on his parents for not expecting him to do that work while he was growing up?

If kids carry their weight, by the time they’re 12 or so the amount of housework any individual in a household has to do is not onerous.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

Yeah, that’s another reason I would never go the paid cleaning route. I consider teaching my kids discipline and self-reliance around doing their laundry, cleaning bathrooms, doing dishes, etc to be core parental duties. If they can’t do all that stuff on their own when they move out, I’ll consider myself a failure as a parent. Because they won’t be earning enough when they move out to pay someone to do it.

People liked the heck out of a post up-thread where a guy expected his girlfriend to do all the cleaning and cooking. How much of that is on the guy, and how much on his parents for not expecting him to do that work while he was growing up?

If kids carry their weight, by the time they’re 12 or so the amount of housework any individual in a household has to do is not onerous.

Your point is a good one. One positive-ish thing about Covid for us was our cleaners hung up their mops for six or seven months and we used that time to teach the kids to clean. We also have very high expectations for keeping the house basically immaculate between cleanings, buuuuut you are correct. They would be learning more about cleaning if we didn't have the cleaners and if they end up being slobs it'll be our failing as parents.

[V]

Originally Posted by Sliver

It's more of an exaggerated buzzword we like on CP. Like calling Airdrie a parasite community. I mean, the term is technically accurate, but you're correct that it's a bit loaded.

Probably not quite as loaded as calling them unethical, unhealthy, unfair parasitic leeches in a borderline sociopathic relationship.

It's always pretty wild watching you flesh out your opinions on certain topics.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Slava

I have to admit, saying that the cat was “a dud” is just hilarious to me. I have a cat (or my family does, very similar to Sliver), and they’re all duds. In my case it’s more than a garage cat, and I’d prefer we didn’t have it.

Yeah it's weird when your family gets a pet you don't want. We have a dwarf hamster we're all a little tired of, which I called before we even got it. He's a biter. Trying to find him his forever home right now, but nobody really wants an old dwarf hamster who isn't even that small...more like a normal hamster. Going on almost two years with this thing. Thought it'd be dead by now so it's a bit of a downer.

[Misterpants]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Yeah it's weird when your family gets a pet you don't want. We have a dwarf hamster we're all a little tired of, which I called before we even got it. He's a biter. Trying to find him his forever home right now, but nobody really wants an old dwarf hamster who isn't even that small...more like a normal hamster. Going on almost two years with this thing. Thought it'd be dead by now so it's a bit of a downer.

I have a cat and accidents...happen. Let me know if you need a pet sitter.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Misterpants

I have a cat and accidents...happen. Let me know if you need a pet sitter.

Hah, good to know. I might set him free in Fish Creek Park to give him a fighting chance, though. Would also feel good to let him retire in nature.

[Leondros]

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

I strongly disagree with this. Of all the ways I can afford luxuries, getting out of housecleaning is among the least extravagant IMO, because I don't like doing it. Also, it directly frees up my time, on a more than one to one basis (the housecleaners do it in less time than I would).

An example of extravagant would be having a driver. I am going to be spending the time in the car anyway, so having a driver does little to free my time. Sure, I could read or work or whatever, but it isn't creating more time for me.

Unless you bill by the hour - then working while commuting in the backseat (ie. lawyers) directly adds value. Some of the charge out rates of lawyers is $1,000 or higher per hour. That's an extra $1,000 per day if you are commuting only 30 minutes per day to and from work.

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Who's mistreating cats?

The post I responded to was about bad cats/cat owners.

I was just trying to make it clear when I said all cats are basically bad that I don't condone mistreating them either (ie, there are still bad cat owners).

Wasn't directed at you or anyone else in the thread.

[monkey brewery]

My wife worked, but her sister has never. Nor has my mother in law. It's just a thing that their family doesn't seem to do except for my wife. Likewise, my mother and father both worked, and we had a nanny who took care of the house until us kids were older. So all this molds my opinion, I'm sure.

If I'm being honest, I think I would harbour a lot of resentment if my wife was home and our house wasn't in tip-top shape, kids were looked after, etc. I go to my brother's house (whose kids are 14 and 10) and their house is an absolute mess. I don't, and never would, say anything because it's just not my place, but I do wonder what the hell is going on all day - there's resentment there on my part, and it isn't even my family.

I have no idea why my brother doesn't feel the same, he does back-breaking work and always has. Then he has to come home and take over the home duties on evenings and weekends.

As for my family, my wife and I shared the duties. We had a woman watch our kids/home for a number of years, but when the youngest was in grade six or seven, we parted ways.

[you&me]

Originally Posted by Leondros

Unless you bill by the hour - then working while commuting in the backseat (ie. lawyers) directly adds value. Some of the charge out rates of lawyers is $1,000 or higher per hour. That's an extra $1,000 per day if you are commuting only 30 minutes per day to and from work.

It's interesting to see how people value their time, or at least perceive some of these outsourced tasks.

[Robo]

I'm a stay at home dad 2 of our kids are in school full time one goes twice a week and I cherish those 2 days a week mentally I am so exhausted, I would probably go crazy though if I had to stay home without any kids 5 days a week, I wouldn't have anything to do. So when the kids are full time school I wouldn't consider it a job but when kids are out of school it is worse than a job it's like a 24 hour a day job and you honestly miss the 8 hours at work you get a break