So I forgot my kid in the car last week...

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by DoubleF

Some adults have learned to tune out the majority of child noise frequencies as a survival mechanism.

[GreenLantern2814]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

I’m only 8 weeks into this and I almost poured the kettle water into my cereal today… I imagine I’ll only get more brain dead as time goes on. Don’t beat yourself up about it or anything.

Congratulations on the safe delivery!

Boy or girl?

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by GreenLantern2814

Congratulations on the safe delivery!

Boy or girl?

Thanks! Girl and healthy. Luckily for her she looks like her mom.

[bc-chris]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

Thanks! Girl and healthy. Luckily for her she looks like her mom.

ha! first thing that went thru my mind was a smaller version of your avatar wearing a diaper!!! ha! ha!

welcome to daddyhood! it's a ton of work but honestly it's a blast!

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

There is an oasis called the couch. Legend has it that spouses would punish other spouses by demanding they sleep there.


But being serious, for your situation, you may need to try and teach yourself a habit akin to snoozing an alarm. Basically, you have to teach yourself to be aware at the first whine, but not to have your body jump to attention and raring to go until the fourth to fifth whine/cry. Otherwise, you might start burning too much energy on false alarms. You might not be able to learn to fight those instincts until you're completely exhausted though and some babies are all or nothing screamers.

Another method is also to get far enough that you cannot hear the sound. During some sleep regression phases/temporary busy time at work, my wife and I slept in separate rooms. That way both of us would not be immediately woken up by the child's cries. My wife and I did this when we had our second. Loosely, I'd do nights for the baby Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday; intercept our older one if he tried to run to our room plus drive our older one to day home. My wife would do nights Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and prep our older one for day home in the morning. That way I'd be a little more "functional" for work and we'd share the responsibilities as equal as possible without burning the candle at both ends. Not all parents think this set up was fair though, but for my wife and I, it was a set up we slapped together that seemed survivable.


Also, try out some white noise. The best cost effective method is an Echo dot you can pre-load with white noise, car ride, pink noise, lullaby sounds, ocean waves etc. If Amazon is literally using it to listen in on you, they can join in your misery and listen to the screams of children for a few months.


If this is your first child, do not give up any opportunities to take shifts for the baby and get rest/self care. With 2 kids, it's essentially impossible without asking for external help. The transition from 0-1 kids is basically the jet lag that never goes away and the work out that never ends. 1-2 kids was basically, "LOL, let's change the game difficulty from normal mode to nightmare. We'll skip hard."

I love my kids to death, but holy crap do lots of people lie or withhold information about the difficulty level when you inquire about it before certain amount of kids. I remember when my second was almost born. The amount of parents who were ominous and like, "Oh, it's your second? Good luuuuuck." Eff those people. I have lots of candor in telling new parents about the difficulties that arise because IMO the heads up to mentally prepare would have been a god send. Knowing the difference between normal (basically everything), panic calling early start help line (Maybe the occasional thing) and driving to the children's hospital immediately (basically high fevers and rashes/hives only) would have been nice.

You may laugh, but I remember my wife and I waking up in a panic realizing our several month old kid (our first) had not cried for 6 hours. After the normal questions about fever etc. Early start helpline asking us to wake the baby, feed the baby, put the baby back to sleep, get some rest and celebrate our baby starting to sleep longer periods during the night when we had more energy.

[Buff]

Originally Posted by malcolmk14

When I was probably 6 or 7 we went to my dad’s corporate Christmas party at the Blackfoot Inn. I remember it was raining.

On the way home, my dad got out to fill gas and asked my mom to go in and get him a pack of cigarettes. She went in, he filled the gas, and hopped back in the car and drove off with my sister and I in the back seat.

After a few minutes I asked, “Where’s mom?”

Still pretty sure it wasn’t by accident.

I'm from Lethbridge and this story is from back in '97 when I was dating my wife for only a few months.

We had planned to meet at her place at a certain time and I arrived maybe 10 minutes before her mom got home. Her mom put stuff away, wandered around the house for a bit and came and asked my then girlfriend "where' s Dad?". My gf said "I thought he went with you to the mall". "No." She looked around for a bit and then decided she had to make supper and got to work on that. About an hour later, again my future mother in law asked "have you seen dad yet?" but nobody had seen him. It was about a minute later when he walked in the front door. Oh, did he look mad! All he said was "Did you forget something?"

The DID go to the mall together and they separated to go look in different stores. She bought what she wanted, forgot they were at the mall together and she went home. It took him a while of wandering the mall to realize she left without him and he decided to walk home. The mall was on the south side and they lived on the west side. He had to walk across the coulee to get home!

So it isn't just kids that people forget!

[speede5]

Almost happened to me. Running errands and completely forgot I had him in the back, he was happy as a clam just looking around in silence. I just happened to look in the rearview randomly and saw him there and it startled me. I had zoned out and had no idea he was back there.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by GordonBlue

ummm. no. not once. don't know how anyone could.

I think if you dig into the various factors at play, it becomes almost expected. Most of us have stories or something similar, this one just happens to stick because there's a scary connotation to it.

If you're running on 5-6 hours of sleep (which is common for many) and you do this over the period of several days (also common), you show similar cognitive decline as somebody who's legally drunk. Parents of a baby? You could reasonably be working on far less sleep for months at a time.

Throw this on top of the standard operation of the mind, and it'd almost be odd if you didn't do something braindead in those months. Slipping into habitual loops all day long is the default, so things that don't align are very easy to prune away.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by Knightslayer

Has this ever happened to anyone here?

I know I watched a true crime episode where a man forgot to drop off his kid to daycare on his way to work and the kid passed away after being in the car all day and he was charged and convicted.

Dropped my wife off at the dentist and had to make a stop at a store. Went in and they were making my order when I remembered and bolted out to grab my son. Thankfully it was only 5 minutes but it's a scary thought knowing I forgot he was with me. What if I wasn't going into a store and going to work? I probably wouldn't have remembered after 5 minutes because my mind would be so occupied.

Anyone else?

I went in to get my staples removed a couple of weeks after my c-section with my daughter. I had 3 kids at that point - my sons were 3.5 and just turned 2 the week prior to my daughter being born. She was an extremely quiet baby, even at birth - she did not cry, she made a tiny little squawking noise in the first 20 seconds after being born, and that was it. She was fine, apgars were phenomenal, she was just quiet.

Finished up the appointment, all 3 of the kiddos with me because there wasn't anyone to leave them with, finished talking to the doc, and took the boys and walked out of the room - left my daughter in her carrier, on the floor in the corner of the room. Doc pokes his head out, laughing, and said "I think maybe you forgot something..."

I was a mite embarrassed. I was also almighty stinking tired. Crap happens.

[NuclearFart]

This has always been a irrational fear of mine, because I dont typically drive the kids to daycare, and thus having a kid in the back is not part of my subconscious routine.

Because of this, I always put my workbag on the back seat floor. This makes it impossible for me to not notice a stray kid upon leaving the car. If I ever forgot my workbag, I'd realize that within 5 min of starting work and have to go retrieve it.

I have however twice driven off after forgetting a full coffee mug "temporarily" placed on the roof while I strap in a kid. I comfort myself knowing that at least I didnt accidentaly switch around the coffee mug in the seat and kid on the roof.

[bc-chris]

Originally Posted by NuclearFart

This has always been a irrational fear of mine, because I dont typically drive the kids to daycare, and thus having a kid in the back is not part of my subconscious routine.

Because of this, I always put my workbag on the back seat floor. This makes it impossible for me to not notice a stray kid upon leaving the car. If I ever forgot my workbag, I'd realize that within 5 min of starting work and have to go retrieve it.

I have however twice driven off after forgetting a full coffee mug "temporarily" placed on the roof while I strap in a kid. I comfort myself knowing that at least I didnt accidentaly switch around the coffee mug in the seat and kid on the roof.

as long as injuries were avoided that would be a great story! ha!

[Russic]

Originally Posted by NuclearFart

This has always been a irrational fear of mine, because I dont typically drive the kids to daycare, and thus having a kid in the back is not part of my subconscious routine.

Because of this, I always put my workbag on the back seat floor. This makes it impossible for me to not notice a stray kid upon leaving the car. If I ever forgot my workbag, I'd realize that within 5 min of starting work and have to go retrieve it.

I have however twice driven off after forgetting a full coffee mug "temporarily" placed on the roof while I strap in a kid. I comfort myself knowing that at least I didnt accidentaly switch around the coffee mug in the seat and kid on the roof.

The tip I want to be remembered for after I die:

If something goes on the roof of your car, your keys have to join it.

[TorqueDog]

Don't beat yourself up, this could have been way worse.


The little bastard could have messed with your seat and mirror positions and changed all the radio presets.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by TorqueDog

Don't beat yourself up, this could have been way worse.


The little bastard could have messed with your seat and mirror positions and changed all the radio presets.

Oh please. That's what husbands do, not kiddos.




Jk.

[TorqueDog]

Originally Posted by Minnie

Oh please. That's what husbands do, not kiddos.

I speak from experience. At five, I would steal the keys to the car, go sit in the driver's seat, and listen to the radio. My dad would get annoyed because I would move the seat to fit me, and change all the radio presets to the local rock station to prevent him from quickly selecting the 'new country' station that I hated so much.

"God damn it James, stop moving the seat all the way forward... you changed the radio presets again, for Christ's sake."

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by TorqueDog

I speak from experience. At five, I would steal the keys to the car, go sit in the driver's seat, and listen to the radio. My dad would get annoyed because I would move the seat to fit me, and change all the radio presets to the local rock station to prevent him from quickly selecting the 'new country' station that I hated so much.

"God damn it James, stop moving the seat all the way forward... you changed the radio presets again, for Christ's sake."

My FIL likes to tell the story of when he left my husband alone in their '65 Mercury, to run into the gas station. Husband was 2 at the time. He got bored. He rooted around in the car and found a screwdriver shank in the glovebox - no real handle on it, just the screwdriver head, really. Before my FIL managed to make it back out to the car (I think he got waylaid by the owner who wanted to yak), my husband had managed to take all the chrome trim off around off both the front and rear window and he also had one of the mirrors off and almost had the second one off.

[calumniate]

Have to say I was a definite runner up until maybe the age of 4. I'd bolt anywhere, just for the fun of it. Kept my parents in shape! You're welcome, fam

[dino7c]

I forgot my dog in the truck one time...was -20

Came back 2 hours later and he was curled up sleeping. Dogs are the best, he was so happy to see me lol

[TorqueDog]

Originally Posted by Minnie

My FIL likes to tell the story of when he left my husband alone in their '65 Mercury, to run into the gas station. Husband was 2 at the time. He got bored. He rooted around in the car and found a screwdriver shank in the glovebox - no real handle on it, just the screwdriver head, really. Before my FIL managed to make it back out to the car (I think he got waylaid by the owner who wanted to yak), my husband had managed to take all the chrome trim off around off both the front and rear window and he also had one of the mirrors off and almost had the second one off.

Oof. I never went so far as to start taking the car apart, I stuck to dismantling the VCR myself.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by dino7c

I forgot my dog in the truck one time...was -20

Came back 2 hours later and he was curled up sleeping. Dogs are the best, he was so happy to see me lol

Reminds me of an old joke:

"Lock your wife and your dog in your car for an hour and guess which one is going to be happy to see you when you come back."