I was a hockey wife — and it just about killed me

[1stLand]

I would love to be the NHL's first 'Hockey Husband'.

Unfortunately I don't think I'll realize that dream, as no woman has made the nhl yet. Time is ticking for me, I am no spring chicken (30).

I am sure she would cheat on me on the road.

I would gladly turn a blind eye though if it meant I was supported financially and was given full authority on home decorating.

[BigTuna]

Whaaa. Being a hockey wife is so hard. Whaaa

[DazzlinDino]

Sounds like she is venting; It's hard to tell if she is mad at Kirk McLean, the NHL or life as a hockey players wife. I am sure there are other wives with different points of view that adapt and adjust fine. I am not saying it is easy but if its the life you sign up for then you have to be prepared considering trades and stuff are part of the game. I am glad we have a coach that puts a lot of emphasis on the importance of family so that everyone feels included and understands the hard work, expectations and various difficulties within the job.

[Oling_Roachinen]

Originally Posted by Cleveland Steam Whistle

You are incorrect. He did not have an NTC built into the last year of his contract, just the years prior. So he was not doing what he was entitled to.

No, but he did have his contract structured in such a way (which was a favour to the Flames no less) that his last year saw him make significantly less money and therefore made retirement a much more realistic option. Retiring was something he was entitled to do.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by BigTuna

Whaaa. Being a hockey wife is so hard. Whaaa

There are many working professionals who get transferred all the time, and make 1/100th of what some of these guys make. Plus these working professionals usually travel a lot for work too and are away from home as much as an NHLer.

So I agree with you, it's hard to feel sorry for these hockey wives.

[CsInMyBlood]

Horrible story, I can't believe she survived this ordeal.

[getbak]

Originally Posted by Oling_Roachinen

No, but he did have his contract structured in such a way (which was a favour to the Flames no less) that his last year saw him make significantly less money and therefore made retirement a much more realistic option. Retiring was something he was entitled to do.

You're talking about two different situations.

Kipper's contract was significantly lower in its final year than the previous years to reduce the cap hit overall and allowed him to retire with one year remaining and not leave too much money on the table. It was a good deal for its time, helped the Flames, and started the trend of backdiving contracts before they got ridiculous.


What CSW is talking about is the final year that he did actually play in the NHL. His contract didn't have a NTC for that season, and the Flames could have traded him at the deadline without his approval. His wife had recently had a baby (and I believe there were some complications with the birth), so he asked Feaster not to trade him. I believe he also told Feaster that he wouldn't report to the new team if he was traded. The Leafs wanted to acquire him for their playoff run that year, and tried to talk him into accepting a deal, but he declined.

He didn't have a NTC, but because he said he wouldn't report to the new team, and was planning on retiring anyway, Feaster had no leverage on him, and didn't push him to accept the deal.

[Mister Yamoto]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Wow is there ever a lot of assumptions being thrown around in this thread. Yes I'm sure there are some gold diggers but to say most of them aren't in love with their husband is insulting to the wives and players.

So I can't say that when most athletes get married it isn't actually true love.

http://divorce.com/divorce-professional-sports/

Can I say that 60-80% of pro athletes get divorced within 5 years of their playing career being over?

Assumptions? Most of the posts on CP are based on some kind of assumption. Yours in particular.

[MissTeeks]

Originally Posted by GioforPM

My wife has volunteered to be Henrik Lundquist's wife and take on these tough challenges. I'm not sure where I fit into the picture.

I will fight her for that job.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Mister Yamoto

So I can't say that when most athletes get married it isn't actually true love.

http://divorce.com/divorce-professional-sports/

Can I say that 60-80% of pro athletes get divorced within 5 years of their playing career being over?

Does it say within 5 years, or overall? Divorce rate in the general population is 50%.

[Buff]

I hope people don't think that having money or being married to money automatically equates to happiness or an easy life. Different problems to deal with and they will undoubtedly seem trivial for people who don't have that luxury but whatever she went through did cause stress in her life and no amount of money is going to make the stress she feels disappear. New stresses will show up. Money isn't going to teach somebody how to deal with stress, life experiences will.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by Buff

I hope people don't think that having money or being married to money automatically equates to happiness or an easy life. Different problems to deal with and they will undoubtedly seem trivial for people who don't have that luxury but whatever she went through did cause stress in her life and no amount of money is going to make the stress she feels disappear. New stresses will show up. Money isn't going to teach somebody how to deal with stress, life experiences will.

True, but the article insinuates that HOCKEY is what was causing her stress.

Yet hockey is a job for her husband. We all have jobs. Army guys who go off to war, or who are just transferred from base to base. Working professionals who are transferred, etc. All these wives have the same stress as the hockey wife, minus the huge money.

I've move a couple times, and finding a place and financing, etc can be extremely stressful. I'm sure moving to a new city, googling the safest neighborhoods (or getting the player agent to do so) and buying in cash is less stressful.

Again, I don't feel sorry for them any more than an army wife, or the wife of anyone who travels for work.

[Oling_Roachinen]

Originally Posted by getbak

You're talking about two different situations.

Kipper's contract was significantly lower in its final year than the previous years to reduce the cap hit overall and allowed him to retire with one year remaining and not leave too much money on the table. It was a good deal for its time, helped the Flames, and started the trend of backdiving contracts before they got ridiculous.


What CSW is talking about is the final year that he did actually play in the NHL. His contract didn't have a NTC for that season, and the Flames could have traded him at the deadline without his approval. His wife had recently had a baby (and I believe there were some complications with the birth), so he asked Feaster not to trade him. I believe he also told Feaster that he wouldn't report to the new team if he was traded. The Leafs wanted to acquire him for their playoff run that year, and tried to talk him into accepting a deal, but he declined.

He didn't have a NTC, but because he said he wouldn't report to the new team, and was planning on retiring anyway, Feaster had no leverage on him, and didn't push him to accept the deal.

I was talking about that situation though. The way Kiprusoff's contract was negotiated allowed for the very real (and probably planned) possibility of him retiring before it ran out. Whether it was 1.5M and a year left, or ~2M at the deadline the year before. Not reporting to the Leafs would be retiring, something he was entitled to do.

[Flamenspiel]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

True, but the article insinuates that HOCKEY is what was causing her stress.

Yet hockey is a job for her husband. We all have jobs. Army guys who go off to war, or who are just transferred from base to base. Working professionals who are transferred, etc. All these wives have the same stress as the hockey wife, minus the huge money.

I've move a couple times, and finding a place and financing, etc can be extremely stressful. I'm sure moving to a new city, googling the safest neighborhoods (or getting the player agent to do so) and buying in cash is less stressful.

Again, I don't feel sorry for them any more than an army wife, or the wife of anyone who travels for work.

Jane was not looking for sympathy in the article, i think she just tried to write an entertaining column and its typical of what she writes. She has columns like "tales from the dating trenches" and so on. Its mostly first hand stuff from her life and nice mix to the serious writing in the National Post. If I would not see that in the NP i would never come across such information.

I have no issues with what she wrote and although its a catchy headline, I don't think it ever came close to "killing" her.

[Flamenspiel]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

True, but the article insinuates that HOCKEY is what was causing her stress.

Yet hockey is a job for her husband. We all have jobs. Army guys who go off to war, or who are just transferred from base to base. Working professionals who are transferred, etc. All these wives have the same stress as the hockey wife, minus the huge money.

I've move a couple times, and finding a place and financing, etc can be extremely stressful. I'm sure moving to a new city, googling the safest neighborhoods (or getting the player agent to do so) and buying in cash is less stressful.

Again, I don't feel sorry for them any more than an army wife, or the wife of anyone who travels for work.

Jane was not looking for sympathy in the article, i think she just tried to write an entertaining column and its typical of what she writes. She has columns like "tales from the dating trenches" and so on. Its mostly first hand stuff from her life and nice mix to the serious writing in the National Post. If I would not see that in the NP i would never come across such information in the sports, news or financial stuff that i look for.

I have no issues with what she wrote and although its a catchy headline, I don't think it ever came close to "killing" her.

[Cappy]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Good article. It's the side of the story you rarely hear about as it can't be easy for some families to pick up and move from a place they have settled. Another thing about hockey I don't understand is the fake rumours of wives cheating with other players. It seems like every team has some sort of rumour and I can only assume that some fans take it upon themselves to damage the lives of players they don't like.

Small town rumours never seem to go away. Is it not different than the office gossip that goes around your place of work?

I feel its a way for fans to either justify why a player wants out or isn't performing (ala Phaneuf, Pronger, etc.) or perhaps just make real life seem a little more exciting and TV-like...

I honestly cannot think of any reason why a professional hockey player would sleep with a teammate's wife when they have the option of so many women on a consistent basis... not to mention the option to pay a premium for anonymity and discretion.

[trublmaker]

Originally Posted by MissTeeks

I will fight her for that job.

meeeeow I like it

[jaikorven]

Many people, including myself, have had to relocate and spend months at a time away from our wives and children. Agreed that it is tough, but I don't make anywhere near that kind of dough either...

EDIT: for spelling error

[CSharp]

From the sounds of it, obviously, she's not the clever one since she keeps buying a house 3 or 4 times in a year. After getting traded twice or even the 3rd time, especially in one year, you'd probably figure out that buying a house and getting settled is not a good idea. But then again, if you got all that money than brains, you'd live the moment rather than try to figure out the long term family retirement plan.

[Regular_John]

Dang tough crowd here, I thought the article was interesting enough in providing a perspective on the game we don't hear a lot of. Yes she was highlighting the negative, but none of it came across as moping to me, just waxing nostalgically (and honestly) on some of the things she experienced.

If you're looking for a similar perspective on the NHL check out Journeyman by Sean Pronger (Chris Pronger's brother), his book shares a similar experience, trades, call ups, call downs, and touches on the effect it had on his family life.