I was a hockey wife — and it just about killed me

[RyZ]

I was a hockey wife — and it just about killed me: My stint with NHL veteran Kirk McLean

[Cleveland Steam Whistle]

Originally Posted by Buster

I grew up in a military family, and had moved WAY more than the average NHL family would be the time I went off to university.

My mom managed it like a champ, and didn't have millions of dollars in cash flow.

I like watching pro sports, but I wish these people would just be quiet.

But what's your point, others have it tougher so shut up? I'm sure if we looked hard enough there are probably some pretty good pieces written on how tough it is to be an army wife or army brat. But because that's tougher (presumably) than being a hockey wife, no hockey wife should tell their story?

I watch sports to get away from the serious matters in life, because it is just fun. Getting behind the scenes looks at life in and around hockey is the type of stuff we want to hear about. If people just shut their mouths because they can find someone who are worse off than them, there'd never be any stories out there other than the worst possible things life has to offer. Not sure I'm down with that.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Igster

Oh...It's about an actual hockey wife. I thought troutman was posting something pretty personal here.

I might be tempted to marry Bouma.

[Stud_McCool]

Originally Posted by AC

They did this to come across as more relatable? Mission failed.

Kodette Labarbera and Emilie Blum both came across well, but Tiffany Parros seems like she was the worst choice to include. Seconds after talking about wanting to be relatable and being grateful, she makes the remark about "AND the diamonds! tee hee".

No worries... George Parros majored in economics at an Ivy league school. She knows what she's talking about. LOL

[Cleveland Steam Whistle]

Originally Posted by combustiblefuel

She had the choice to leave or stay. Also at 25 your brain is considered fully developed. She just wanted the cush park avenue lifestyle and reality seem to bite her in the ass.

Yup, but choosing between the man you love (at 25) or the life you want isn't an easy choice. And I'm no scientist, but I can speak from personal experience that I did a lot of growing between 25 and 30, and then again between 30 and 35. I'd much more capable of handling things now then I was at 25, regardless of "brain development". Life is about experience and what you learn from it, not just how physically developed you are.

[Buster]

Originally Posted by Cleveland Steam Whistle

But what's your point, others have it tougher so shut up? I'm sure if we looked hard enough there are probably some pretty good pieces written on how tough it is to be an army wife or army brat. But because that's tougher (presumably) than being a hockey wife, no hockey wife should tell their story?

I watch sports to get away from the serious matters in life, because it is just fun. Getting behind the scenes looks at life in and around hockey is the type of stuff we want to hear about. If people just shut their mouths because they can find someone who are worse off than them, there'd never be any stories out there other than the worst possible things life has to offer. Not sure I'm down with that.

Pretty much.

[Fan in Exile]

Having your life disrupted and moving from place to place, lacking certainty and stability would be difficult. Okay, I agree. Having a spouse on the road all the time and constant solicitation? Probably not great for a marriage.

But the trials and tribuations of moving to places you have no desire to go - from Vancouver to Florida back to Vancouver in the offseason to New York. That just about killed you? Come on. You weren't kidnapped at night and whisked off to another country. You chose to buy houses in each place including New York because of the trauma oof adjusting to living in an apartment in Manhattan. Tell your therapist who can maybe help you put things into perspective. Don't cry to the public that being an NHL wife almost killed you.

I learned nothing from this except that this woman feels sorry for herself.

[Cleveland Steam Whistle]

Originally Posted by Buster

Pretty much.

Yet here you are finding the time to post on a message board about whether hockey wives should tell there story, when there are all those other bad things happening in the world. Shouldn't you stick to only commenting on world poverty and disease? I mean, that's really all that matters right and is worth spending time on.

[corporatejay]

And I'm being serious, it's not like they can just live a simple lifestyle, it's just not that easy.

[Mister Yamoto]

NHL trophy wives, "just doing the math and keeping it real".

I'm surprised more of these guys don't just wait for their playing careers to be over and then get married. It seems to me that in a lot of cases it is a distraction that an NHLer really doesn't need.

Besides, most of these women aren't really in love with their husband, they are in love with being an NHL wife. So when the player retires, there is no longer anything in it for them. Divorce rate is through the roof the first few years after retirement for most pro athletes.

Just have a girlfriend. Hell, have lots of girlfriends. (Maybe just one at a time though). When you eventually retire marry a nice girl and have kids. I'm sure a lot of people would like to start a family being young retired millionaires.

BTW, I am sure Kirk Maclean is absolutely thrilled about this article.

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by Mister Yamoto

NHL trophy wives, "just doing the math and keeping it real".

I'm surprised more of these guys don't just wait for their playing careers to be over and then get married. It seems to me that in a lot of cases it is a distraction that an NHLer really doesn't need.

Besides, most of these women aren't really in love with their husband, they are in love with being an NHL wife. So when the player retires, there is no longer anything in it for them. Divorce rate is through the roof the first few years after retirement for most pro athletes.

Just have a girlfriend. Hell, have lots of girlfriends. (Maybe just one at a time though). When you eventually retire marry a nice girl and have kids. I'm sure a lot of people would like to start a family being young retired millionaires.

BTW, I am sure Kirk Maclean is absolutely thrilled about this article.

Talk about a broad statement if I've ever heard one.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by Mister Yamoto

NHL trophy wives, "just doing the math and keeping it real".

I'm surprised more of these guys don't just wait for their playing careers to be over and then get married. It seems to me that in a lot of cases it is a distraction that an NHLer really doesn't need.

Besides, most of these women aren't really in love with their husband, they are in love with being an NHL wife. So when the player retires, there is no longer anything in it for them. Divorce rate is through the roof the first few years after retirement for most pro athletes.

Just have a girlfriend. Hell, have lots of girlfriends. (Maybe just one at a time though). When you eventually retire marry a nice girl and have kids. I'm sure a lot of people would like to start a family being young retired millionaires.

BTW, I am sure Kirk Maclean is absolutely thrilled about this article.

Wow is there ever a lot of assumptions being thrown around in this thread. Yes I'm sure there are some gold diggers but to say most of them aren't in love with their husband is insulting to the wives and players.

[shermanator]

Reading the article itself made me roll my eyes more than anything. That's the life you signed up for when married a professional athlete.

However in the video with Blum's wife and Bernier's fiancée and Prust's wife the women sounded much more relatable, especially Emilie Blum discussing how sometimes the millions of dollars don't necessarily come with the commitment to a pro athlete, but the lifestyle of having your husband on the road all the time still does.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by Cleveland Steam Whistle

If she'd more appropriately titled the piece, it was a decent read on what it might be like. Amazes me though how many on here were for example quick to sympathize with Kipper when he didn't want to move at the end of his contract and essentially tied the Flames hands and gave himself an NTC extenstion he didn't agree to, no one went "oh poor Kipper, first world problems, you might have to move for 3 months while you earn millions"..

cause (a) he had a NTC built into his contract, and (b) cause he didn't complain. He just did everything that he was well within his right to do.

[Cleveland Steam Whistle]

I like how easy people sum things up to be for everyone else's life. Hey, don't fall in love when you are an NHL player or an NHL girlfriend. Just enjoy the ride, it's all fake anyways......

Maybe only the most mature individuals in history post on here and they never had their emotions get the best of them when they were younger but seriously some ignorant statements. Even at 25, if you happen to meet someone you are crazy about, kind of hard to simply say, this isn't real, I'm in the NHL, there be time for meeting "the one" later. No, most people let their emotions get the best of them, whether it's real love or not, and try to make it work. Suggesting people at such a young age should have the foresight not to get emotionally involved until later in life is a laughable suggestion.

[Cleveland Steam Whistle]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

cause (a) he had a NTC built into his contract, and (b) cause he didn't complain. He just did everything that he was well within his right to do.

You are incorrect. He did not have an NTC built into the last year of his contract, just the years prior. So he was not doing what he was entitled to.

[northcrunk]

I wonder if the release of the 'real hockey wives' reality show has something to do with this. That show is going to be garbage.

[heep223]

Originally Posted by Buster

Pretty much.

Do you "have it better" than someone born in a war-torn country? Or someone who is living in an oppressive regime? Or someone who has to walk 10 miles to get fresh water every morning? Yes, you do. Then, by your logic, you have 0 right to complain about anything.

[Fan in Exile]

Originally Posted by Cleveland Steam Whistle

You are incorrect. He did not have an NTC built into the last year of his contract, just the years prior. So he was not doing what he was entitled to.

Kipper had a family and put them ahead of continuing his career. I respect his choice. It's not a useful analogy.

People think that their lives will continue just as they are and you get to a point where everything is easy. I don't think it works that way for anyone ever. There is no finish line. She found out that her marriage (to an NHL star) was not the pot at the end of the rainbow. Like most of us do. And instead of dealing with it she still feels sorry for herself years later.

[Hackey]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Wow is there ever a lot of assumptions being thrown around in this thread. Yes I'm sure there are some gold diggers but to say most of them aren't in love with their husband is insulting to the wives and players.

Seems like a reasonably fair assumption to me. Most people are naturally going to be attracted to money and fame and prestige or whatever. You might not be some evil person that's seeking this out and uses people for it but at the same time you might have never got deep into that relationship to begin with if it wasn't for those things. Sad but true these things matter even for regular people. Take two nice guys one with a 30k a year job and one with a million a year job and I'm pretty sure most girls would prefer the guy making a million dollars. Doesn't mean shes some gold differ out on the prowl looking for a sugar daddy but if you stumble across that obviously that will be a big motivator in continuing the relationship.