You Know What Really Grinds My Gears....The Sequel!

[Table 5]

I don't have to be drunk to be awkward.

[sun]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Speaking of bad jokes, that reminds me I have to write a best man speech for a wedding in 3 weeks. That grinds me gears. I hate public speaking as is, trying to write a "funny" speech makes it so much worse.

Best advice I can give is keep it short. Nothing worse than a meandering wedding speech full of inside jokes that no one but the groom understands.

I was at a wedding once where the best man drew out this painfully long story where at the end, the groom called a bird they had seen camping a "gray jay". All his buddies have apparently mocked him for years because the bird was actually a whiskey jack and it's funny that he must have thought it was like a blue jay, but gray and that's why he called it a gray jay and sometimes they call him gray jay now years later and they always laugh about it and say how dumb he was for calling a gray jay because it was actually a whiskey jack and man, do you even bird-watch bro, and let's all raise a glass and here's to you gray jay, you dumb son of a bitch, congrats!

And then the guy sitting next to me leans over and says "a gray jay is another name for a whiskey jack..." lol

It was the worst story I had ever heard until the next guy's speech.

[terminator]

I don't know why the hate on the diamonds, I bought it cause I could afford it. She never asked for it, I just supplied the best I could.

if you don't want to buy a diamond, or prefer a more economical route to marriage thats your choice. Cost of wedding does not determine how married two people are, but there is no need to hate on others for doing what they do.

[terminator]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

Or false-certified diamonds, since the average joe-schmoe on the street can't tell the difference between a D color vs a G color, or a VVS1 vs an SI2.

Not to defend crap chain diamond places like Spence or Maxins (the real deals on proper GIA cert diamonds are on the web from wholesalers, not in a brick & mortar), but small stores often have shady practice.

Agreed, I get mine GIA certed and its a Canadian diamond.

[Raekwon]

Originally Posted by terminator

I don't know why the hate on the diamonds, I bought it cause I could afford it. She never asked for it, I just supplied the best I could.

if you don't want to buy a diamond, or prefer a more economical route to marriage thats your choice. Cost of wedding does not determine how married two people are, but there is no need to hate on others for doing what they do.

Sounds like you gave her the big D

[Arya Stark]

Originally Posted by terminator

I don't know why the hate on the diamonds, I bought it cause I could afford it. She never asked for it, I just supplied the best I could.

You could have just said you got a better deal at so and so and it was much cheaper than Spence diamonds but you went out of your way to tell us how much you paid for it. You knew you'd get the reaction you were looking for.

[terminator]

Originally Posted by Arya Stark

You could have just said you got a better deal at so and so and it was much cheaper than Spence diamonds but you went out of your way to tell us how much you paid for it. You knew you'd get the reaction you were looking for.

Actually, no. Was not looking for a reactions whatsoever, just being polite and providing evidenced advice. You now are WRGMG.

[Chill Cosby]

blood diamonds?

[Wormius]

The hate on diamonds as jewellery is because in the zombie apocalypse they will have no barter value.

You should have spent the money on arrows and archery lessons. Your wife would have thanked you for your practicality.

[Chill Cosby]

Originally Posted by Wormius

The hate on diamonds as jewellery is because in the zombie apocalypse they will have no barter value.

You should have spent the money on arrows and archery lessons. Your wife would have thanked you for your practicality.

[Knut]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Speaking of bad jokes, that reminds me I have to write a best man speech for a wedding in 3 weeks. That grinds me gears. I hate public speaking as is, trying to write a "funny" speech makes it so much worse.

Pick 3 stories that are funny and clean relatively quick. Put them in point form on a piece of paper and tell them as if you are telling a buddy.

Say a few words about the bride (all positive).

Put Smirnoff Ice under random Tables and ICE random wedding guests.

[OutOfTheCube]

Originally Posted by terminator

I don't know why the hate on the diamonds, I bought it cause I could afford it. She never asked for it, I just supplied the best I could.

if you don't want to buy a diamond, or prefer a more economical route to marriage thats your choice. Cost of wedding does not determine how married two people are, but there is no need to hate on others for doing what they do.

Because after a certain price point, diamonds lose their intended meaning and start becoming about showing off how extravagantly wealthy you are.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by fotze

What kind of nerds bug their buddy about what they called a bird?

We're all just a bunch of fun dudes and I put time and effort into that story, even if Sun didn't like it.

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

Because after a certain price point, diamonds lose their intended meaning and start becoming about showing off how extravagantly wealthy you are.

It's good that there are people out there who believe that, but I for one like knowing that my wife can be both beautiful and smug at all times in a public setting.

[nik-]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Speaking of bad jokes, that reminds me I have to write a best man speech for a wedding in 3 weeks. That grinds me gears. I hate public speaking as is, trying to write a "funny" speech makes it so much worse.

Pick up the mic, thank him for the time he saved your life when the rattlesnake bit you in the testicle by sucking the poison out. Say you really appreciated him doing both, even after it was clear you were only bit on one of them.

Then take a loud slurp of your drink and sit back down.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

Because after a certain price point, diamonds lose their intended meaning and start becoming about showing off how extravagantly wealthy you are.

There are two reasons to marry a women with small hands.

[Wormius]

People who don't know how to jaywalk.

Come on, it's not at a crosswalk; you see me not slowing down because it's not a crosswalk; and yet you step out in front of my car on Centre St and then get all belligerent when I have to swerve around you into the left-lane to avoid you.

[Chill Cosby]

Originally Posted by Wormius

People who don't know how to jaywalk.

Come on, it's not at a crosswalk; you see me not slowing down because it's not a crosswalk; and yet you step out in front of my car on Centre St and then get all belligerent when I have to swerve around you into the left-lane to avoid you.

The other side is just as bad:
Drivers who don't know how to deal with jaywalkers.

I'm standing at the side of the road. It's not a crosswalk. Don't awkwardly stop in the middle of traffic you fool, I DONT BELONG HERE. Just drive so I can walk once the road is clear.

[btimbit]

Originally Posted by Wormius

People who don't know how to jaywalk.

Come on, it's not at a crosswalk; you see me not slowing down because it's not a crosswalk; and yet you step out in front of my car on Centre St and then get all belligerent when I have to swerve around you into the left-lane to avoid you.

After spending a bit of time in the forest lawn area recently, my new policy is to lean on the horn and go around.

Favourite part is when they get mad. You're a pedestrian, I'm a car. Wanna see how that fight goes? Want me to stop, cross the street properly. Not even against jaywalking (I do it too) but do it right, don't just wander into traffic.

Drivers that stop for jaywalkers waiting to cross are even worse.

[vegasbound]

Training people in a job sucks. I get everybody learns at different speeds but this crap ain't rocket science. It really isn't. Everything is written down as well. I'm not sure if my low tolerance for her learning speed is because my day was crap or if it's because I can't leave her by herself to close and she's the only one who can give me a day off. Or maybe it's because I got this crap immediately and keys given to me on my fourth day and she's on day 11 and nowhere near ready.