Have you cold approached a girl?

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Mazrim

I'm hurt. You've thanked multiple posts after mine.

Haha, that's weird. I actually went back and thanked yours after my thanksing powers were restored, but the board error Gods have seen fit to take it away.

[Coys1882]

Ahhhhh good old Rubeycubey.

[ResAlien]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Get laid all you want. It's awesome. I just don't think being an insincere twat is the classiest way to go about it.

Isn't physical attraction like the first thing that would drive you to someone? Especially someone who you're "cold approaching"? How is that being an insincere twat as you so elegantly put it.

[GirlySports]

I was chatted up in the food truck line today, but after that he just got his food and left.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Coys1882

Ahhhhh good old Rubeycubey.

I'm just one man...with not very much work to do today.

[19Yzerman19]

Originally Posted by rubecube

And if the sole reason you're being nice to her is to get in her pants, what does that say about you?

Mostly that I want to get into this girl's pants. I really don't think there's anything wrong with that (I certainly hope not). Provided that we can all behave like adults I'm confident that there is in fact a way to navigate this rocky interpersonal terrain. Occasionally, women, who am I told do in fact enjoy sex, have similar motivations.

EDIT: I'm not sure how there's any insincerity involved here and in fact speaking personally, I try to make sure I'm pretty clear about my intentions. Not only for reasons of honesty but because insincerity is counterproductive in this context and again, not worth the effort.

[Otto-matic]

Originally Posted by TheGrimm

Poor Girlysports, reading her thread... Imagine what's now going to be running through her head the next time random male attempts to strike up a conversation with her.

Don't bouwmeester it..... don't bouwmeester it.....


Lots of good tips here, I may end up posting results one day.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by ResAlien

Isn't physical attraction like the first thing that would drive you to someone? Especially someone who you're "cold approaching"? How is that being an insincere twat as you so elegantly put it.

I thought you responded to my post about acting up the nice guy part? If you're a nice dude, who wants to talk to a woman and get laid, I don't see the problem. If you're a guy who acts nice to get laid but then thinks anyone who doesn't appreciate your niceness enough to take their clothes off is a bitch, you probably have entitlement issues.

[TheGrimm]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I was chatted up in the food truck line today, but after that he just got his food and left.

Pfft typical man... got what he wanted and left... amirite Rube?

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by 19Yzerman19

Mostly that I want to get into this girl's pants. I really don't think there's anything wrong with that (I certainly hope not). Provided that we can all behave like adults I'm confident that there is in fact a way to navigate this rocky interpersonal terrain. Occasionally, women, who am I told do in fact enjoy sex, have similar motivations.

No, I think we got a little off course. I was talking more about the dudes who pine for women and play the nice guy friend card when pants time is all they're actually interested in. You can be nice to women and still be straight up about pants time. They generally prefer that to acting nice and then being a ###### about things after the fact.

EDIT: And I just realized we're arguing in agreement. Yay internet.

[_Q_]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I was chatted up in the food truck line today, but after that he just got his food and left.

He probably didn't want to come off as "sexually aggressive". Whatever that means.

[19Yzerman19]

It's not really an argument so much as a discussion, or so I thought.

EDIT: Although Flameswin seems to be trying to bait an argument about terminology of all things which is sort of annoying and fairly vacuous I think.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by 19Yzerman19

It's not really an argument so much as a discussion, or so I thought.

Well, but I think we're both saying the same thing, but I see where I went wrong in the original post.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by strombad

Well this went well.

EDIT: I'll just stipulate my above post with "unless you have a disability." I do, however, stick to my statement.

If you need a video, or a course, or a book to talk to women, you should probably just die alone. The whole "art of the pickup" is misogyny in it's most basic form. Hey, if you need a book to learn how to properly interact with ALL people, then I get it, but most of these books are geared to speaking to women and connecting with them. If you need a book for that, you're a bad person.

If you can talk to literally any other human being, then congrats, you're already fully capable of talking to a woman.

At least you are stopping yourself before you sound like an idiot.

[Coach]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I was chatted up in the food truck line today, but after that he just got his food and left.

Would you have liked to have him ask you out?

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by 19Yzerman19

It's not really an argument so much as a discussion, or so I thought.

EDIT: Although Flameswin seems to be trying to bait an argument about terminology of all things which is sort of annoying and fairly vacuous I think.

A little disingenuous on my part, I agree. I was more just extremely amused that you managed to use two business terms in regards to getting laid.

[Makarov]

Originally Posted by MattyC

Well if you want to bring women into the conversation, it's not like they're all cute and innocent when it comes to "games" in relationships/interactions. Acting interested purely to get drinks because they know they can, dragging along 'nice guys" because they like the attention, etc...

Of course not all women do these things, and its actually likely a pretty vasty minority (just like the pick up artists are for men). But I don't think it's a stretch to say that the liklihood of men that act this way CAN BE a direct result of being screwed over by women in the past.

Personally, I know I went through a pretty bad experience with a good friend that I was crazy about. It definitely wasn't the first time I had ended up in that scenario, but it affected me the most for sure. I honestly became an a-hole. And I think it was more I was fed up with the way I was being walked over and didn't want to deal with women at all anymore, so I didn't approach them. But I was definitely getting approached much more once I started to care less and less about the counter part. It did not however make me feel good at all. And I feel like the reason I didn't care is because I cared for my friend so much.

I actually met my current girlfriend this way. She is amazing, but we were back and forth for almost two years while I worked through all that BS. And I would have definitely lost her if I didn't snap back into it.

That's not really what I meant by trying to make the forum more inclusive of women.

Anyway, I'm not suggesting that moderators should be putting limits on the sort of discussion that has taken place in this thread. I am certainly not suggesting that the (oddly-named) "You Love, You Lose" thread should be deleted (heaven forbid). I am not even suggesting that Estrada should stop posting his brut-cologne-scented state trooper brand of nonsense (because I find it hilarious).

However, I think it is also important to have posters like rubecube voicing his concerns. I think that those posts might encourage non-male, non-heterosexual, non-alpha people reading the thread to feel safe to participate.

[Troubamaker]

You guys want girls to call you? List an inner city condo for rent under $1300 and watch your cellphone fly! 67 calls in the past 10 hours...... it's actually getting pretty ridiculous. Out of all those calls maybe 5-6 of them were guys.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I was chatted up in the food truck line today, but after that he just got his food and left.

I was just hungry. Sorry.

[strombad]

Originally Posted by _Q_

He probably didn't want to come off as "sexually aggressive". Whatever that means.

It's just a phrase all of us effeminate nice guys made up to better distinguish ourselves from all you masculine alpha bros.