Have you cold approached a girl?

[TheGrimm]

Originally Posted by 19Yzerman19

I'm just annoyed because it's really unfair to take a side in an argument and then have EE come in and represent the countervailing opinion. Is this some sort of paid service he provides to people to make their views appear more convincing?

Bwahaha, I was going to leave it at a thanks but that was just too funny!

[strombad]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

I'm married and nothing in my life is a game to me. Talking about topics such as the one GirlySports started is a game and you guys take the fun out of it. When did the internet become such serious business?

You know what, rubecube pretty much said it perfectly. But I do want to add.

Since you're a guy who:
- Brushes off misogyny as fun and games (which, to be fair, not even half of the comments were misogynistic originally)
- Talks about all the "boys" in this thread
- Juxtaposes those boys with the "real men"
- Treats the suggestion of respectful, human interaction with women as the "emotional friend" approach that won't get you anywhere (because every time you talk to a woman the end goal is banging, obviously)
- and questions how far someone could possibly get by treating women like human beings

I have to say, I totally get you. You think you're that alpha bro, that "real man" who knows how to hang, gets what he wants, and doesn't have time for that "emotional" crap. Good for you alpha bro, but I have a hard time believing your wife would be stoked about how casually you treat the idea of misogyny, no matter how much of a "real" man you'd like to be.

EDIT: and out of curiosity, are either of your kids girls?

[19Yzerman19]

If I'm being honest I have to say in practice I behave pretty similar to the manner in which the "real men" are suggesting we all do. I have a limited budget of time to invest in my personal life, find it emotionally exhausting to attempt to maintain friendships with girls I'm actually attracted to and for the most part I've completely stopped trying to do so. It's basically just a cost-benefit analysis, and I can't imagine that rubecube, strombad and other enlightened paragons who stand above us all in virtue herein would say that that attitude is fundamentally any better than EE, Q and co's.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by puckedoff

I talked to a girl once

Same thing happened to me, except instead of "to", substitute "at". Your way sounds intriguing, though.

[strombad]

There is literally nothing wrong with not wanting to be friends with a girl you don't want to be friends with.

Why would there be?
I think you might be missing the point here of what us "enlightened paragons" take issue with, which would be treating women as objects or less than human and using manipulation to get what you want from them.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by 19Yzerman19

If I'm being honest I have to say in practice I behave pretty similar to the manner in which the "real men" are suggesting we all do. I have a limited budget of time to invest in my personal life, find it emotionally exhausting to attempt to maintain friendships with girls I'm actually attracted to and for the most part I've completely stopped trying to do so. It's basically just a cost-benefit analysis, and I can't imagine that rubecube, strombad and other enlightened paragons who stand above us all in virtue herein would say that that attitude is fundamentally any better than EE, Q and co's.

I don't have a problem with people not wanting to maintain friendships with women. That's not really what all of this is about. That said, I have plenty of female friends that I think are attractive, but I also have a girlfriend I've been with for 3 years so maybe that's why it's not a huge issue for me.

EDIT: And I shouldn't say it's not a huge issue for me. There have been plenty of times where there's been mutual admiration, but I/we just choose not to go there.

[Looch City]

Do people interested in the same sex go through this same debacle?

[2ArmBands]

Thread started talkin about pickin up ladies.... Ends with the word misogyny and people trying to claim social superiority.

FAIL

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

This morning on the 69-train a guy started conversing with a girl a few seats from me and he was so smooth he got her number. I was smiling too so it would have worked on me

I thought it was courageous of him to do it in front of about 15-20 people? It was new style train with the seating on the sides.

Have you guys done this before? It can't be that common cause I take this train all the time and never see it. Also, I've never been approached on the street or in the +15s or really in public.

My best cold approach to a girl would be to walk up to her and rub a ice cube against her forehead.

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up getting married...

[Coach]

Originally Posted by Makarov

I'm not unsympathetic to your point, but sometimes we need to ask ourselves why is this a predominantly heterosexual male discussion? Perhaps CalgaryPuck is not as inclusive as it should be? And perhaps there is something that we can do about that (presuming that inclusiveness is a value that we all share)?

Well if you want to bring women into the conversation, it's not like they're all cute and innocent when it comes to "games" in relationships/interactions. Acting interested purely to get drinks because they know they can, dragging along 'nice guys" because they like the attention, etc...

Of course not all women do these things, and its actually likely a pretty vasty minority (just like the pick up artists are for men). But I don't think it's a stretch to say that the liklihood of men that act this way CAN BE a direct result of being screwed over by women in the past.

Personally, I know I went through a pretty bad experience with a good friend that I was crazy about. It definitely wasn't the first time I had ended up in that scenario, but it affected me the most for sure. I honestly became an a-hole. And I think it was more I was fed up with the way I was being walked over and didn't want to deal with women at all anymore, so I didn't approach them. But I was definitely getting approached much more once I started to care less and less about the counter part. It did not however make me feel good at all. And I feel like the reason I didn't care is because I cared for my friend so much.

I actually met my current girlfriend this way. She is amazing, but we were back and forth for almost two years while I worked through all that BS. And I would have definitely lost her if I didn't snap back into it.

[19Yzerman19]

Originally Posted by strombad

There is literally nothing wrong with not wanting to be friends with a girl you don't want to be friends with.

Why would there be?
I think you might be missing the point here of what us "enlightened paragons" take issue with, which would be treating women as objects or less than human and using manipulation to get what you want from them.

Yeah I can't stand behind the manipulation and games by dudes to get what they want but I think if I'm honest the reason is that I am far too apathetic at this stage in my life to consider a strategic approach worth the effort.

As for "why would there be", I'm self-aware enough to recognize that there is an irredeemable undertone of objectification in an attitude that says, "I like this girl, but if she's not interested in sleeping with me, I'm going to remove her from my sphere of consciousness entirely because however fun, interesting or otherwise great she may be this relationship will not otherwise provide an adequate return on my emotional investment."

EDIT: or, if you prefer it put more sarcastically, read Flameswin's post immediately below mine.

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by 19Yzerman19

If I'm being honest I have to say in practice I behave pretty similar to the manner in which the "real men" are suggesting we all do. I have a limited budget of time to invest in my personal life, find it emotionally exhausting to attempt to maintain friendships with girls I'm actually attracted to and for the most part I've completely stopped trying to do so. It's basically just a cost-benefit analysis, and I can't imagine that rubecube, strombad and other enlightened paragons who stand above us all in virtue herein would say that that attitude is fundamentally any better than EE, Q and co's.

Those are words to live by, my friend. The second you think of interacting with women as anything more than a cost benefit analysis, you're simply just respecting the lesser sex a little too much for my liking, to the point where I wonder if you may be into women at all.

Women: They ain't for talkin' to, they for ****in'.

[troutman]

November 13 is Sadie Hawkins Day.

Cold approach me ladies!

[jayswin]

This is just awesome, in two posts, 19Yzerman19 has referred to cost benefit analysis and return on investment in regards to women.

ErickEstrada would be proud. He'd put you at the top of his alpha male respect list. Well, at number two of course, below him.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by MattyC

Well if you want to bring women into the conversation, it's not like they're all cute and innocent when it comes to "games" in relationships/interactions. Acting interested purely to get drinks because they know they can, dragging along 'nice guys" because they like the attention, etc...

Everyone likes attention. If you talk to most girls about these situations they'll say they either had no idea the guy wanted anything more than friendship, and/or they were worried about the reaction they'd get for telling the guy they weren't interested.

I realize that some women can be manipulative and vicious. That said, it's pretty simple. You're not entitled to anything just because you're nice to a girl and/or buy her drinks. And if the sole reason you're being nice to her is to get in her pants, what does that say about you?

[TheGrimm]

Poor Girlysports, reading her thread... Imagine what's now going to be running through her head the next time random male attempts to strike up a conversation with her.

[Brannigans Law]

If it wasn't for the internet I'd probably have had sex 3 times in my entire life. I find the idea of chatting up a woman I don't know that I'm attracted to terrifying. I'd literally rather let a drifter have his way with him than have to go strike up a convo with a gorgeous woman where my intentions are to do stuff to her.

Ever since I've got engaged though I've approached women differently, and since I have no intention of sleeping with any woman I talk to now outside my fiancee, it's so much easier to chat anyone up, even hot girls. I've never flirted with women as much as I have now that I'm engaged; because I know it'll never go anywhere.

I wish I would have had that confidence as a 20-something. Or maybe not. I'd probably have HIV and the clap. Or whatever else the playa's on here are carrying around. Can I get what -what?

[Mazrim]

Originally Posted by rubecube

And I'm out of thanks.

Haha, Jesus Christ. I didn't say my opinion was binding. It's a message board. I critiqued the material and people lost their minds about it.

I'm hurt. You've thanked multiple posts after mine.

[ResAlien]

Originally Posted by rubecube

And if the sole reason you're being nice to her is to get in her pants, what does that say about you?

Hold on, its not OK to even want to get laid anymore? Dammit man where does it end?

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by ResAlien

Hold on, its not OK to even want to get laid anymore? Dammit man where does it end?

Get laid all you want. It's awesome. I just don't think being an insincere twat is the classiest way to go about it.