Like others have suggested there's nothing rapey about telling a girl with confidence that you want her number. That's how I met my current girlfriend of almost 2 years. After hanging out with her for 2 hours I said "hey I gotta go, but give me your number, I'd like to take you out sometime."
Like others have suggested there's nothing rapey about telling a girl with confidence that you want her number. That's how I met my current girlfriend of almost 2 years. After hanging out with her for 2 hours I said "hey I gotta go, but give me your number, I'd like to take you out sometime."
I agree. But that's completely different than "Give me your number. I'm taking you out for a drink." Anyways, whatever, it's done.
This morning on the 69-train a guy started conversing with a girl a few seats from me and he was so smooth he got her number. I was smiling too so it would have worked on me
I thought it was courageous of him to do it in front of about 15-20 people? It was new style train with the seating on the sides.
Have you guys done this before? It can't be that common cause I take this train all the time and never see it. Also, I've never been approached on the street or in the +15s or really in public.
I agree. But that's completely different than "Give me your number. I'm taking you out for a drink." Anyways, whatever, it's done.
Nobody is suggesting going up to a random girl on a train and demanding for her number without any lead up conversation. That's weird. But it's also just as weird as asking in that situation.
Nobody is suggesting going up to a random girl on a train and demanding for her number without any lead up conversation. That's weird. But it's also just as weird as asking in that situation.
I was in the army with a guy that would go to bars and just walk up to women and ask if they wanted to ####.
It never worked on the first try, but it always worked.
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The whole "pick up" community is garbage. And while there are solid people here arguing it's merits, the videos and books produced on this is intended for the whole community. A toxic, misogynistic community that does much more harm than good.
For any of you with single sisters or daughters, how would you like it if you knew there was some guy out there watching videos and reading material with the goal of manipulating your sister or daughter into interacting with them?
Pick up artistry isn't honest. You aren't being your true self. You're putting up a fake front in order to attract members of the opposite sex. It's manipulative, and in some cases it's building a downright lie around yourself. Watch the videos, figure out how to get that number, and then what? Are you going to just continue manipulating them until you've received your wants?
Wouldn't it be easier to just be yourself, and look for real, human interactions, where you and whomever it is you're with got there through honest and open means? At very least, tell the girl "It's kind of funny, I get so nervous in these situations I had to watch a video on what to say!" because at least then you're telling them that what they're getting isn't 100% you.
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Gender binaries aside, what makes you think the way women and men view the world is solely based on biology and not socioeconomic factors?
I never said that it's solely based in biology. But there are fundemental differences biologically (horomones being the biggest one) that effect how each gender would react to situations. And of course these don't apply to all people, but if you're someone that's looking to generalize them anyways with pick-up tactics and what not, you are looking to exploit those fundamental differences.
Example:
I watched a show called Brain Games that were comparing men and women, they found that men have better spacial recognition (ie we can pack things better, make better spaces in rooms, etc..) and women have better detailed recognition (why women tend to be better with crafts, art, sewing, etc).
Does this mean that if you take one man and one woman out of a crowd that they will show these tendencies? Absolutely not. But it doesn't mean someone can't exploit those differences for selfish gain (although I'm not sure how the above would help anyone).
Again, it's douchbaggery and bordering on sociopathy. And yeah I guess you can call it sexist to go around trying to exploit something that may or may not exist in that person, but that doesn't mean acknowledging that there is differences between men and women is sexist. Because there is.
Psychology degree. Adolescent development classes. Women spent time teaching children to interact and socialize (among many other things obv) while men provided the physical necessities needed to survive. A few thousand years of this created inherently social and emotional women. By inherent I mean more than men because men also have social and emotional traits. The neuroplastic behaviour of the cerebral cortex is different between the sexes.
I never said that it's solely based in biology. But there are fundemental differences biologically (horomones being the biggest one) that effect how each gender would react to situations. And of course these don't apply to all people, but if you're someone that's looking to generalize them anyways with pick-up tactics and what not, you are looking to exploit those fundamental differences.
That's fine. I can agree with some of that. The problem gets to be when you start ascribing certain personality traits on the basis of gender because doing so can be demeaning and disempowering to all genders, such as saying things like "women really like talking about themselves" or "women are more emotional than men." It's essentialism at its finest.
Psychology degree. Adolescent development classes. Women spent time teaching children to interact and socialize (among many other things obv) while men provided the physical necessities needed to survive. A few thousand years of this created inherently social and emotional women. By inherent I mean more than men because men also have social and emotional traits. The neuroplastic behaviour of the cerebral cortex is different between the sexes.
I am sorry I was not clear.
I actually meant sources, not just you responding.
Psychology degree. Adolescent development classes. Women spent time teaching children to interact and socialize (among many other things obv) while men provided the physical necessities needed to survive. A few thousand years of this created inherently social and emotional women. By inherent I mean more than men because men also have social and emotional traits. The neuroplastic behaviour of the cerebral cortex is different between the sexes.
You can't just make these biological claims and simultaneously ignore the structural differences and social influences between pre-modren and post-modern societies.
I actually meant sources, not just you responding.
I am interested to read this evidence.
Go look it up. I'm at work. Maybe if I'm inclined I'll flip through the textbook and post the researchers.
This whole thing you guys are doing getting offended and throwing around accusations is just ridiculous. Intelligent people don't get offended sobl easily. I'm the complete opposite of a misogynist so accusing me of such is ignorant. Maybe a little blunt or quick to speak, not all women love talking about themselves but many do because they are genetically predisposed. Sometimes I just hope people can think for themselves instead of doing the get offended for other people nonsense.
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The whole "pick up" community is garbage. And while there are solid people here arguing it's merits, the videos and books produced on this is intended for the whole community. A toxic, misogynistic community that does much more harm than good.
For any of you with single sisters or daughters, how would you like it if you knew there was some guy out there watching videos and reading material with the goal of manipulating your sister or daughter into interacting with them?
Pick up artistry isn't honest. You aren't being your true self. You're putting up a fake front in order to attract members of the opposite sex. It's manipulative, and in some cases it's building a downright lie around yourself. Watch the videos, figure out how to get that number, and then what? Are you going to just continue manipulating them until you've received your wants?
Wouldn't it be easier to just be yourself, and look for real, human interactions, where you and whomever it is you're with got there through honest and open means? At very least, tell the girl "It's kind of funny, I get so nervous in these situations I had to watch a video on what to say!" because at least then you're telling them that what they're getting isn't 100% you.
Sexually aggressive? Ooooh scary. It sounds to me you and rubecube prefer the 'emotional friend' approach. Does that actually work as it's my experience that a good majority of women actually romantically prefer real men over the guys that try to be their best friends.
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Intelligent people don't get offended sobl easily.
But apparently they make ad hominem arguments?
Quote:
Maybe a little blunt or quick to speak, not all women love talking about themselves but many do because they are genetically predisposed.
I've read plenty of material that supports the notion that men and women have different cognitive patterns. I've yet to see anything that says women are genetically predisposed to love talking about themselves more than men, so I eagerly await the research you have.
