Dealing with Jealousy/Insecurity

[King Hippo]

Break up with her ASAP

But before you do, set up some really hard core porn on your living room TV, like the really hard core disturbing ones. Then set up a camera and get her reaction when she walks in. If she flips out on Katy Perry, I can't imagine how over the wall she'd go with that kinda stuff.

CP will thank you for posting the reaction

[GirlySports]

what does she watch? any guys she likes watching?
For example, does she only watch Criminal Minds because of Shemar Moore? Call her on it, see how she reacts, you have nothing to lose now since everyone is still you to run.

I must watch 1000 Korean dramas and Korean guys... yum. My guy has Asian actresses (even some porn stars) on his iPhone wallpaper. So what?

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by ffp204

Posting under another username becuase this is some embarrassing ####. Need some input on how to deal with this issue.

I recently got screamed at for having the Katy Perry concert movie downloaded. Didn't even watch it but I sure got hell. "The only reason you have this is to lust after her", "I thought you didn't like women with caked on makeup", "Is this the kind of woman you have fantasies about?", "This is completely disrespectful to me". I got dressed down.

What porn I have ammonts to maybe 10 Playboy magazines from the 90s, half a dozen VHS tapes and a folder on my computer with about 50 files. Pretty average when compared to friends and guys I know.

This is a grown woman, not a teenager. I've been aware that she's sensitive and insecure but this is over the top. I'd throw away the porn becauase I really don't care about it but I can't walk on eggshells wondering if a movie or video by a female singer is inappropriate but she is adamant that I am being very disrespectful to her.

My idea of disrespectful is cheating, lying, insisting on watching porn even if she's not into it. Have not even come close to that.

She would lose it if she saw the Hot Chicks thread.

How far have you gone to appease your woman? Been together 2 years, do not live together. I need some perspective.

From a girl's perspective.... RUN. Don't walk. Why have you put up with this for two years?

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by FireFly

From a girl's perspective.... RUN. Don't walk. Why have you put up with this for two years?

Anal?

[DuffMan]

Originally Posted by evman150

in my experience it is people who have cheated or are cheating who have the worst insecurity/jealousy issues.

x2

[CaptainCrunch]

The only question is

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

What's keeping you there?

Is it worth saving?

To me once you start dating a shrew, you can either stick with it and hope that you can change a basic personality type. Or trade her in for something that won't make you batsh$t crazy

[squiggs96]

Here's what I've realized about why people get jealous. People expect other people to act like they act themselves. If you go to Vegas and your partner says 'have fun', they do so because they trust you and know how they would act in a similar situation. If they start accusing you of wanting to go bang some skanks, it's likely that's what they would want to do if they were in Vegas. A few years ago I went out for some drinks and left my phone at work. When I got back to the office I had a ton of missed calls from my girlfriend. All of them were asking where I was and if I was okay. She even called two hospitals to see if I had been admitted, since she worried about me biking to and from work.

[DuffMan]

My wife had no problems with me going to strippers, years ago. Doesn't really fit into my lifestyle too much anymore, but back in the day, I went more than a few times a month.

[cam_wmh]

Originally Posted by Rathji

I am sure you can microwave a banana peel for 30 seconds and get the same result.

giggidy

[J pold]

There is nothing I find more strange then when people seek dating/relationship advice on CP. That being said I'd get rid of her right away.

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by northcrunk

Great post and great advice. People who have a guilty concience because they are cheating tend to be more jealous and insecure so they are always trying to make you feel the same way as them by freaking out about little things like looking at a girl/guy, movies, porn ect. Find a girl who points out cute girls to you. That way you know you have a secure woman who will not freak out about little crap like a Katy Perry movie.

I married that girl, and it is great.

[DuffMan]

Originally Posted by fotze

Well when your wife is the stripper....

She was only the cocktail waitress, your Mom was the stripper.

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by MaDMaN_26

odd PsYcNeT keeps thanking the helpful posts instead of ffp204. ... ... ... just sayin'

:P

Wait, we're not supposed to thank helpful posts anymore?

I've just been there, and really what I've thanked is the best advice. You have to talk about it and if it won't work out, it won't work out. That kind of #### is like a boat anchor around your neck.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

Start oogling men. If that fails, start downloading animals having sex and watching that instead.

Then when she yells at you again, tell her if she preferred you look at animals/men or women.

This advice will probably not help at all, but try it out anyway and post your results.

[Ark2]

She sounds like an unreasonable person, and if she gave you a good dressing down and you just took it, then it sounds like she is also the domineering type when it comes to relationships. I would say run away from this one, but if you are the type to allow yourself to get brow-beaten by your SO, then I think you also have some self-esteem issues that need to be worked out as well.

[Huntingwhale]

If she's jealous of all the porn/Katy Perry fap material you watch, the only fair thing is for you to start watching male porn with her.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by J pold

There is nothing I find more strange then when people seek dating/relationship advice on CP. That being said I'd get rid of her right away.

I can think of something stranger. I'm surprised you can't J pold...

Spoiler!

[squiggs96]

Wait. You have Playboys from 1990 and porn on VHS? Dude. Check out the internet. It's free and you don't need a VCR to play it back. I didn't even know VCRs were still operational.

[flamesfever]

I think you need to take a stand, and tell her the problem is not with you, but with her abnormal jealousy/insecurity issues. I think you must insist that your behaviour, with regard to porn, is perfectly normal, and that you need her to give you some space in that regard. I would tell her that as far as disrespect is concerned, she is being disrespectful to you, and not the other way around.

I agree with others that you can't tolerate this sort of behaviour, and if she does not agree to get help, I would suggest ending the relationship. Life is too short to put up with this sort of thing.

[GoinAllTheWay]

Once crazy, ALWAYS crazy. If you are having this much issue with a girl you aren't even living with, run while the running is good.

One of my buddies wound up hooking up with this chick that was reall quite nice at first. Then the odd jealousy stuff started up, we all saw it, he didn't. They got engaged despite our protest. On the night of his stag, we were out at the bar and SHE FREAKIN SHOWS UP!! Who the hell does that? So we, in our druken stupor, tore a bit of a strip out of her. A few years later when he finally came to his senses and divorced her crazy a$$, she phoned him up and stated she was going to kill each and every one of his friends, listing us off by name. Left this on his VM of all things. Needless to say, a copy of this message was sent to the cops.

Trust me man, this road you are on will not end well.