Help with women

[3 Justin 3]

Don't take no for an answer.

[MickMcGeough]

Learning about evolutionary psychology basically turned everything I thought I knew about relationships on its head. I couldn't recommend it enough as a topic of interest.

[REDVAN]

Originally Posted by saskflames96

Disregard women, acquire income. It works every time.

Aren't you 15?

[SeoulFire]

Go with the income. Then the only women problem you will have to worry about is which one is sincere and which are just thinly disguised prostitutes.

Or just skip that step and get prostitutes and hire a housecleaner.

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

1) If you are shy/scared, online is your friend - not e-harmony (which is for people looking to get married)

I dunno, met someone pretty dirty on eharmony..

alot of the online sites are the same 80% just looking to get laid.

[Teh_Bandwagoner]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

Having enough confidence to approach a complete stranger to strike up a conversation is 95% of the battle. As a Canadian in Australia, you've got a natural advantage here. Just tell girls your situation and ask about places they think you should visit while you're there. Instant ice-breaker! Plus they'll think you're foreign and exotic and will likely have many questions about Canada.

Total advantage. I was in Toronto a few months ago for work. My jr. co-worker and I went to a club one night. Ugh I felt so old. Everyone was clearly in their early 20s, but I wanted my jr. co-worker to have a good time. He's incredibly shy around girls. Like debilitatingly shy. So I kept trying to goad him into talking to a girl and dancing with her. He just couldn't. So I told him it's easy and gave him a demonstration.

Now I'm probably about a decade older than most of the people in the club, if not more, and hadn't done much clubbing in probably a good 6-7 years. Plus I'm not the hottest thing to look at. I'm also in a long-term relationship so I wasn't gonna go and do anything awful stupid. But within about 2 mins, I approached this 20 year old hottie, telling her that we were from Calgary on business, just having a good time, and that my friend was really shy but wanted to talk to her. Joked around with her and convinced her to dance with him for a while. Unfortunately he remained silent during the dance and continued to talk to me after instead.

After that, all night I had a pretty good groove going. I would talk to people (guys and girls) at random. Guys and girls were talking to me at random. And this is on top of me being relatively old for being at a club. But being in Toronto from Calgary was an easy opener. Should be wicked simple for you. On a side note, that was a good time. Brought back memories of my 20s lol.

Anyway moral of the story: Don't fret about your looks. Don't try to impress. Actually don't worry about what a girl thinks about you period. Just be funny, confident, not creepy, lovey and clingy and girls will not reject you.

[Traditional_Ale]

@ the OP.

When I finished audio school I said to myself "your twenties are your gift to yourself and don't ever think otherwise."

I then proceeded to have essentially two five-year relationships in a row.

I've been single for almost three years now, turning 29 years old, and only finally know how awesome it feels to not "need" anybody. And cougars rock.

At 22, sorry, but you don't know sweet eff all about "love", the greatest and sweetest or the terrible, and I mean effing terrible.

My advice is to make sure you have your own s**t together, locked and loaded before you start giving off the idea you're open to commitment. I sure wish I had.

Sorry if you didn't actually mean you were looking for "love", as opposed to "tail", but you did post on a hockey forum. I imagine if it was a movie scene it would of had weepy James Horner like string orchestra music with a vastly over reverb'd sigh before the voice over monologue of the protagonist, lost in the paradox of the friend-zone.

[saskflames69]

Originally Posted by REDVAN

Aren't you 15?

My, what a keen eye you have there, Mr. REDVAN..

[Hack&Lube]

Get into a good educational program, get a good job, get some kind of interesting gig doing something, basically something to brag about etc.

Women love ambition, it makes for an easy intro, it gives you something to talk about in terms of your hopes and dreams, and will give you something to derive a lot of self-confidence from so it's a grand-slam.

See my user location "In the Abyss" ? That's the friend-zone abyss of ladder theory. It's also bull#### and self defeating. I put that there years ago when I was your age. At 22 you know nothing about all the good things down the road and can be easily blinded by your failures. You need confidence and when confidence fails, you need something to fall back on like your own accomplishments and accomplishments require time and dedication and you will be appreciated for them.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

Get into a good educational program, get a good job, get some kind of interesting gig doing something, basically something to brag about etc.

Women love ambition, it makes for an easy intro, it gives you something to talk about in terms of your hopes and dreams, and will give you something to derive a lot of self-confidence from so it's a grand-slam.

It's true.

Just be ambitious about something that actually pays.

[Ozy_Flame]

To add to Hack's point above, women always want to be with the alpha male. It's in their brains, their blood, their estrogen - the most dominant male is usually the most desired. Therefore, establish yourself as an ambitious go-getter who doesn't bend over backwards for women, but rather invites them along for the ride. Confidence, assertiveness, chivalry and compassion will get you where you need to be.

And for god sakes, be decisive - women cannot stay away from men that make decisions. If she asks you what you want do, don't say "I'm good for anything, its up to you" - you have to say "tonight we're going to do this, this and this," and say it without a pause or stutter. Women crave leadership qualities in men.

[nik-]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

I dunno, met someone pretty dirty on eharmony..

alot of the online sites are the same 80% just looking to get laid.

I dunno, I registered on e-harmony a few years back to check it out and that place scared me. Really serious.

[sun]

Some good advice here. I'd like to reiterate that confidence is the biggest thing. You get this confidence by not fearing rejection. You have to understand that women get hit on constantly all the time. It is no big deal to them and if they shut you down, they'll never think about you again. This is a good thing. It's no big deal to them, so think of it as no big deal to you.

“You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do." - David Foster Wallace

Try not to build it up into this crazy huge thing. You will get shut down. This is not the end of the world. Forget that girl, there are a million more. Try again with another.

This advice obviously makes more sense in a bar-scene. Maybe not so much with your friend-zone girls - this area, I can't really help you with. My advice for the friend-zone is don't enter it. Try to make your intentions known from the get-go. I don't believe that a single man and a single woman can be just friends. In my experience, it's just not possible.

I personally don't think starting with fat, ugly chicks is the best idea. Unless you're into that sorta thing. If you think you can do better; do better.

It helps to be good looking. If you're not naturally gifted in this area, then there are things you can do to help. My biggest success with girls came when I changed my hair and my clothes. Looking better = feeling better = confidence = help with girls. I believe in this very firmly. You don't need to buy a suit, just dress your age (ie, not like you did in high school). If you want advice about clothing, send me a PM.

Smile, make eye-contact, have a drink or two (but don't get wasted). If you're a shy kid (like myself), then follow others' advice and have a game plan for conversation. You've got a great icebreaker being a foreigner. Ask for their advice on the area. People love helping and giving advice (see this thread). Ask her name, REMEMBER it, and use it often. People love the sound of their own name. Compliment them.

I'd also like to say that 22 is still young. I know it probably doesn't feel that way, but try not to be too hard on yourself.

[saskflames69]

[calumniate]

I say get a tattoo! That way you can say 'hey, look at my tattoo!'.

If you don't have a tattoo, just hang out with someone that does and sit quietly in the corner until it's time to go in for the kill.

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by Cole436

CP, I feel like I've hit the point where I need your help.
I'm 22 years old, and I can't attract women to save my life.
I'm a master of the friend zone, I don't have the confidence to ask girls out, and even online dating has been a huge failure for me. I bought an e-harmony account a few years back and never even had a response.

Now, I'm in Australia thinking that my odds have to have improved just by being Canadian. Well, we're still riding at zero here after 3 months.
I'm not even that bad looking, I just have no clue what to do.

My ex wife is in Australia, if you can find her I guarantee that tramp will give you a piece. Can you feed her to some crocs for me after though, it would be much appreciated!

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by nik-

I dunno, I registered on e-harmony a few years back to check it out and that place scared me. Really serious.

on the dating sites even some of the people say they want a relationship/serious etc just want sex. (more so on POF of course lol )

[Champion]

It's all about your confidence. 100%. It's the way you exude yourself. Women LOVE a man with confidence. Not arrogance. Just a confident head on your shoulders.

It will shine through to how you do things in life. The worst things you can do is be timid and shy around girls. That is friend zone right from the start.

You should always be yourself as well. Once you gain some confidence, it will go a loooong way. Don;t be scared of rejection. It;s not the end of the world.

[Flames_Gimp]

if I can get laid anyone can!

[Flame Of Liberty]

If your are shy and inexperienced, go for international students/backpackers. Aussie girls love to give off the "unapproachable" vibe, are quite high maintenance, often travel in packs and are surrounded by tons of dbags. Can be a tall order given your situation.

Euro backpackers or South American English students are 100x more approachable, better looking, laid-back and more fun. Trust me.