08-11-2010, 07:59 PM
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#41
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3 Wolves Short of 2 Millionth Post
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How sure are you that she actually having a baby? Has she given you any proof or did she just say she was pregnant? Could it potentially be a trap ala the girl from the book The Average American Male?
EDIT: To add to this, it'd probably be best to not sleep with her, if you ever decided to again, until your 100% sure she's pregnant.
Last edited by wpgflamesfan; 08-11-2010 at 08:15 PM.
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08-11-2010, 07:59 PM
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#42
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Leave anyway. There's nothing worse for a child than two parents who hate each other staying together for their sake.
I just don't get why you'd move in with a girl you have nothing in common with in the first place... Too many people are afraid of being alone.
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I think it has more to do with the high cost of living than fear of being alone. I moved in with my girlfriend really early in the relationship because one of her roommates bailed and left her holding 100% of the rent.
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08-11-2010, 08:01 PM
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#43
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First Line Centre
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby
The kid deserves a father though.
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While I agree with you that that's the better set up for the kid, if he has any inkling of wanting to get out of the responsibility/feeling of being in a trapped situation, do it now rather than later. Having no father your entire life is better than your old man going out to pick up a pack of cigarettes and never coming back when you're 8.
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08-11-2010, 08:02 PM
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#44
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Scoring Winger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubecube
Why not? Why put yourself on the hook for 18+ years of child support for a child that isn't yours?
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Because he has no reason to think the child isn't his, and it's a dbag move. Unless I had a good reason to believe that the woman was cheating on me, or insane / a liar, then it's a dick thing to suggest to a woman you've been with for two years.
If she is insane / a liar / potentially cheating, then yeah, sure, get the test.
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08-11-2010, 08:05 PM
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#45
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lethbridge
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz
Is anyone else as supprised as I am that Mikey_the_redneck was the first to thank the post telling dissentowner to bail on his pregnant girlfriend and not suport the kid?
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If being trapped or manipulated by design, all bets are off....
The kid may not even be his after all. When a relationship goes sour like that for a long period of time, the greater the chance that she went off and cheated. It happens.....
P.S. I think the false paternity rate is somewhere between 10-15%.
Last edited by mikey_the_redneck; 08-11-2010 at 08:10 PM.
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08-11-2010, 08:07 PM
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#46
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grunt
Because he has no reason to think the child isn't his, and it's a dbag move. Unless I had a good reason to believe that the woman was cheating on me, or insane / a liar, then it's a dick thing to suggest to a woman you've been with for two years.
If she is insane / a liar / potentially cheating, then yeah, sure, get the test.
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Or maybe it's the fact that statistically there's a 40-50% chance she cheated on him and only a 3% chance one of his condoms failed (assuming he used one every time).
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08-11-2010, 08:09 PM
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#47
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First Line Centre
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grunt
Because he has no reason to think the child isn't his, and it's a dbag move.
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If they took 'every precaution' to avoid this, then there is a reason to think something might be up - either cheating or sabotaging the birth control. I guess it depends what 'every precaution' means... if they are doubling up their birth control (i.e. the pill and condoms) as long both were being used correctly, the chance of them both failing at the same time is so remote that he should go buy a lottery ticket for this Friday's lotto max.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grunt
Unless I had a good reason to believe that the woman was cheating on me, or insane / a liar, then it's a dick thing to suggest to a woman you've been with for two years.
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Better to know for sure either way than having a slight nagging suspicion in the back of your mind. And correct me if I'm wrong, but as long as he has some time alone with the kid he could just take him/her and have the test done on his own and she'd be none the wiser, right?
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08-11-2010, 08:10 PM
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#48
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grunt
Because he has no reason to think the child isn't his, and it's a dbag move. Unless I had a good reason to believe that the woman was cheating on me, or insane / a liar, then it's a dick thing to suggest to a woman you've been with for two years.
If she is insane / a liar / potentially cheating, then yeah, sure, get the test.
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Who cares if it's emotionally insensitive? He's talking about a woman he clearly doesn't like and was planning on leaving anyways. The ramifications for his life if the kid isn't his are massive. The "damage done" to the relationship if it turns out to be his is negligible. The cost/benefit analysis leans heavily towards "get a paternity test". Especially because a lot of men are raising other mens kids these days:
Some call this paternity fraud. But a more accurate term is "paternal discrepancy." Paternity fraud emphasizes the financial aspect of the phenomenon, but paternal discrepancy (PD) describes the anomaly itself—the disconnect between what men think is true and the genetic reality. And research shows that it's a lot more common than we might believe.
After recently reviewing 67 studies on the subject, University of Oklahoma researchers found that PD rates tend to be much higher among men who have reason to believe there's been more than one dog in the yard. No surprise there. But leave out these men and you end up with a number that can safely be assumed to represent the rest of us. That number is 3.85 percent. Another review of 19 studies by a group at Liverpool John Moores University backs this up, putting the figure at 3.7 percent of dads. It may not seem like a lot—until you do the math. According to a 2005 U.S. Census Bureau report, there are 27,940,000 fathers nationwide with a child under 18. That means over a million guys out there are taking care of some other man's kid.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/f...mentid=8416062
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08-11-2010, 08:12 PM
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#49
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck
If being trapped or manipulated by design, all bets are off....
The kid may not even be his after all. When a relationship goes sour like that for a long period of time, the greater the chance that she went off and cheated. It happens.....
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If the kid isn't his, sure, of course he should bail.
But even if she intentionally got knocked up, he was still knocking boots with her, and he's still the dad, he still bears some responsibility.
However, why so many people are jumping to the conclusion that one or both of these things is true is kind of beyond me.
__________________
THE SHANTZ WILL RISE AGAIN.
 <-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
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08-11-2010, 08:19 PM
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#50
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz
If the kid isn't his, sure, of course he should bail.
But even if she intentionally got knocked up, he was still knocking boots with her, and he's still the dad, he still bears some responsibility.
However, why so many people are jumping to the conclusion that one or both of these things is true is kind of beyond me.
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Yeah, I'm not jumping to conclusions; I just don't think it adds up. If he's used a condom every single time they've had sex over the last two months then there's a very slim chance the kid is his. I still have my doubts that she's actually pregnant.
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08-11-2010, 08:19 PM
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#51
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: SW Ontario
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wpgflamesfan
How sure are you that she actually having a baby? Has she given you any proof or did she just say she was pregnant? Could it potentially be a trap ala the girl from the book The Average American Male?
EDIT: To add to this, it'd probably be best to not sleep with her, if you ever decided to again, until your 100% sure she's pregnant.
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I have ultrasound pics that I went with her to see so I am very sure.
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08-11-2010, 08:20 PM
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#52
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Farm Team Player
Join Date: Dec 2009
Exp: 
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We need to start a pool.
$5.00 on It's not his
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08-11-2010, 08:22 PM
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#53
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: SW Ontario
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phaneuf3
If they took 'every precaution' to avoid this, then there is a reason to think something might be up - either cheating or sabotaging the birth control. I guess it depends what 'every precaution' means... if they are doubling up their birth control (i.e. the pill and condoms) as long both were being used correctly, the chance of them both failing at the same time is so remote that he should go buy a lottery ticket for this Friday's lotto max.
I will definitely do that!
Better to know for sure either way than having a slight nagging suspicion in the back of your mind. And correct me if I'm wrong, but as long as he has some time alone with the kid he could just take him/her and have the test done on his own and she'd be none the wiser, right? |
I would be shocked but stranger things have happened, I will think about that one, I will feel like a d-bag asking though.
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08-11-2010, 08:22 PM
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#54
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Farm Team Player
Join Date: Jul 2010
Exp:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby
The kid deserves a father though.
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He already suggested abortion, not sure the kid will appreciate it. She will probably make sure the kid finds out about that. This reminds me of that Chris Rock bit about a father meeting the child whose abortion he had suggested: how you doing little man? I ALIVE, THAT'S HOW I'M DOING MUTHA*****!
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08-11-2010, 08:22 PM
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#55
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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The other reason to get the test done is that if 5 years from now he finds out the kid isn't his, but he's been acting as father towards the kid for those 5 years, he's still on the hook for child support for the next 15 years.
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08-11-2010, 08:24 PM
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#57
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: SW Ontario
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Yes, a paternity test is a must I guess but I am going to feel like an a-hole asking. I am only good at being an a-hole on message boards,lol.
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08-11-2010, 08:25 PM
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#58
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dissentowner
Yes, a paternity test is a must I guess but I am going to feel like an a-hole asking. I am only good at being an a-hole on message boards,lol.
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Yeah, she's not going to like it but you have to protect yourself. Are you 100% sure you used a condom every time?
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08-11-2010, 08:26 PM
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#59
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Silicon Valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rod Hockey
We need to start a pool.
$5.00 on It's not his
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Bet is 1-to-1? Cause thats not really fair.
But I'm down
__________________
"With a coach and a player, sometimes there's just so much respect there that it's boils over"
-Taylor Hall
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08-11-2010, 08:29 PM
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#60
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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