How Do You Deal With Death?

[jammies]

As an atheist, the problem of death becomes acute, as this life becomes all there is and all there will ever be. I used to fear death and hope that somehow science would advance and grant some form of immortality - anything to save me from the fate that every other person that has ever existed must face - however in the last few years, as I've grown older, the certainty that one day I will die has become less and less important.

After all, what separates my consciousness from all others and gives it value? It cannot be merely my thought and experience, as those, while certainly unique, are valuable only to me, and to exalt them as irreplaceable is merely an expression of selfishness. Rather it must be my ACTIONS, and how they affect those around me that are important. If I have a million years, and all I do with those years is indulge myself, then I might as well never have existed. On the other hand, if I live only the tiniest fraction of that but use my time to make the world a better place than if I had never existed, then I have defeated death because the important part of me - my actions - will have consequences far beyond the days measured out to my physical being.

[Wookie]

Great thread. I started one almost exactly the same maybe a year or so ago. Then as I neared the end of the initial post I changed my mind.

Good reading what everyone has said. Glad to see everyone think about the same things.

Good points.

Left foot, right foot, piss all over present!
Before born!

Nice!

[Resolute 14]

Originally Posted by REDVAN

I have often considered seeing someone to discuss this, like a psychologist. The only problem is that I want to address it from a non-religious point of view, and the first thing anyone will tell you is religion is the answer.

I can recommend someone if you want. Both a good friend and I use the same group of psychologists, and not once has religion come up as a potential solution.

I suspect most modern psychologists will treat from the perspective of the client - i.e.: atheists/agnostics won't see religion as an answer, so that path isn't necessarily the right one. But a deeply religious person wouldn't respond well to questioning the value of religion.

[Traditional_Ale]

One interesting point that hasn't come up yet is that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but only transformed from one form to another.

Our brains do utilize chemical and even electrical energy which what one could argue is the basis of the "spirit" or "soul". When our body eventually dies, this energy has to go somewhere.

[Hack&Lube]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

One interesting point that hasn't come up yet is that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but only transformed from one form to another.

Our brains do utilize chemical and even electrical energy which what one could argue is the basis of the "spirit" or "soul". When our body eventually dies, this energy has to go somewhere.

Yep, it goes to entropy.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

Yep, it goes to entropy.

Thanks for totally derailing the spirit of that post.

[kermitology]

Originally Posted by J pold

[Crazy story cut because it's long only, no disrespect]

That is ABSOLUTELY horrifying. I can't imagine if I'd come home to my apartment greeted by a police officer to tell me that my best friend of 20 years, my drummer, my other half was dead.

I can't even approach that..

[Zarathustra]

Death is inevitable. I don't believe in any sort of god or afterlife, so this life is all I have. I am going to take advantage of this life and have a epic adventure. I don't have heaven or hell to live for, I'm am living in the moment and loving it.

I saw an old man die in front of me earlier this week and was reminded how short it is. Take advantage of your time and have a great time!

[HelloHockeyFans]

DO NOT worry about things you can't change. This is a sure-fire way to drive yourself absolutely crazy.

What happens when you die? I don't know, but my guess is you won't know even when it happens. You pass, your body stops functioning, you stop thinking, you have no perspective, no feeling... nothing. That's what I think non-religious people have a hard to grasping after a lifetime of LIVING. The idea of nothing.

[PowerPlayoffs06]

I have no fear of death but, for some reason, I'm terrified to hell of the idea of my body being autopsied. Is it possible to forbid yourself being autopsied after you die? I've actually wanted to ask that question for a long, long time...

[Dion]

If there is such thing as Hell, we'll be too busy shaking hands with friends to know where we are

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

Similar situation with long-time couples. Often is the case where one of them passes away, and the other follows suit a short time after. Not all couples, but a fair number, and usually when they're elderly.

I remember my grandmother passing away and my grandfather dying 6 months later. They say he died of a broken heart - nothing more to live for.

[Jetsfan]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

Yep, it goes to entropy.

Who knows this entropy may be very fulfilling. I don't know where I was before I was conceived, I cannot worry about what will happen after I die.

What I find really amusing is people who say that this person who died will be rememberd "forever". HA! 150 years from now every single person on this planet will be gone...its just life. One billion years from now Japan will be pushed under the crust and disappear. Seven billion years from now the sun will explode and the earth will be vaporized and the sun will be a white dwarf star. 50 billion years from now the white dwarf sun will evaporate and this will be empty space.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by PowerPlayoffs06

I have no fear of death but, for some reason, I'm terrified to hell of the idea of my body being autopsied. Is it possible to forbid yourself being autopsied after you die? I've actually wanted to ask that question for a long, long time...

I don't think every body gets autopsied. I don't know this, but it doesn't make a lot of sense to me that they'd do it for every person.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by PowerPlayoffs06

I have no fear of death but, for some reason, I'm terrified to hell of the idea of my body being autopsied. Is it possible to forbid yourself being autopsied after you die? I've actually wanted to ask that question for a long, long time...

Let me compound this....my wife has treated two people (for different 'ailments' mind you) that had once been autopsied (not completely of course) while still alive. TWO!

[redforever]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

Here's another way to think about it: Life if a circle. The start and end point is simply "non-existence."

It doesn't matter how big a circle someone makes; they could be a civilization-crushing emperor with an iron fist or simply a feeble hermit - ultimately, a human life is a human life, and we end up in the same place.

It is in man's nature to compare himself to others, and comparisons are where are judgments lie, and are the base point for your development as a human being. You take after your parents, you idolize a mentor, you work harder than your co-workers - it's all comparative, and it's what man thrives on.

Eventually, those comparisons are null, and death brings that about. You and your comparisons (that being other people and your ideas) are six feet under, and non-existent, just as you were before you were ever conceived.

Life is a wheel. And size doesn't matter. It all ends up at the same place.

And we all get a turn to have a spin at the wheel and a kick at the bucket. And when we have exhausted our turn, then someone else gets a chance to get up to bat. We can't stay at bat forever, eventually the inning is over.

And live life to your fullest, remember you can sleep 24 hours a day when you are 6 feet under. I am not saying push the edge all the time but take time to party and take time to relax and just smell the roses.

And if you have someone pass on, who meant a great deal to you, remember, you do not have to forget that person, memories are what give so much meaning to life. All you have to do is find a way to say goodbye.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

One interesting point that hasn't come up yet is that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but only transformed from one form to another.

Our brains do utilize chemical and even electrical energy which what one could argue is the basis of the "spirit" or "soul". When our body eventually dies, this energy has to go somewhere.

The energy has to go somewhere, but that doesn't mean a soul goes somewhere. Before our brain existed, where was the soul? It seems likely to me that when the brain dies, the self dies with it.

[BuzzardsWife]

I think being the father of a new baby has really made you think of your mortality and it's freaking you out. I went through stages like this, and still do once in a while, but mostly worrying what would happen to my kids when I die. Or how my husband would cope. I think watching my mom die made me realize that death is certain, and I will worry about it when my time comes. I think it's so normal to fear death.

[ResAlien]

Tough subject to discuss. Agree with Fotze about the having kids thing. Before my daughter was born I couldn't have cared less if I died, let alone let it keep me up at night. But afterwards these things tend to weigh on you.

As a card carrying Agnostic it isn't what may happen to me or my soul or whatever you want to call it after I die that bothers me. By the time I know it'll be too late to tell anyone. What gets to me is what happens to my daughter and family.

Did I leave her enough money? Had I been a good father and helped her become a better person? How will she cope? Will it mess with her emotionally? Is she where she really needs to be in life? These are the things that vex me.

Only reason they do is I went through that. I basically watched my father die when I was 7 years old, and it screwed me up something good. Just don't wish that on her.

That said, for death regarding myself, meh. Can't really worry about the inevitable, or at least I try not to. Good luck to the OP, hope some of the responses people have given help you out.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by troutman

The energy has to go somewhere, but that doesn't mean a soul goes somewhere. Before our brain existed, where was the soul? It seems likely to me that when the brain dies, the self dies with it.

Yeah, but it's kind of a neat way to look at it... You die, get buried, worms and other creepycrawlies eat you up, use that energy from eating you to make the soil better, the soil makes food, someone eats it, they use the energy to change the channel...

Well that doesn't quite cover it, but I think it's kinda cool. I don't know how cremation would cover that problem. I'm sure more energy is used in cremation than is generated or released. Except maybe as heat. This is giving me a headache.