So last night I had a bit of an episode while playing flag football. I ran a nice 10-yard out pattern and looked back to see the ball coming towards me. The ball was coming in a little low but was still catchable if I caught it in a bit of a cradel.
Well my cradle was a little bit larger than it should've been and the ball went right through my arms and drilled me right in the fruit basket. By direct, I mean direct. The tip of the ball catching me right on the tip of my trouser soldier; pretty much the most sensitive spot of the whole unit.
I dropped like a sack of bricks and began writhing in pain. As I rolled over my eyes caught a group of attractive blondes. Yes, you see on the other field was a soccer game, and the team playing seemed to be made up entirely of beautiful Danish girls...and they were all pointing and laughing at me.
Anyone else have embarassing, painful, and/or humiliating stories about injuries to our most delicate region?
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Last summer, me and a few friends were rednecking it up on the front lawn (drinking and playing croquet) when me and a buddy started wrestling. He had me pinned, so I did what anyone would do - I grabbed a croquet bat and tried to hit him with it. I missed him and bonked myself in the head. It took us about 10 minutes to stop laughing.
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I was holding hands with a girl and walking down the street and I was telling her something really clever and I collided with a light pole pretty much knocking myself senseless.
In highschool I was a running back, I took a handoff up the middle and brained myself on the goal post fumbled the ball and cost us the game.
I was playing goal in road hockey and showing off for my girlfriend and her friends who were watching when a friend of mine wired a slapshot off of the boys causing me to tear up and sob like a girl while lying in a fetal position.
When I went in to emergency for my heart problem, the nurse who was cute went to check my pulse and I popped a boner.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
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Using one of those poles that hold up your basement roof I jumped up on it pole dancer style and proceeded to sack myself while trying to pull off a sweet stripper move. The moral of the stories is those girls can do those things because they don't have the dangly bits getting in the way.
Last summer, me and a few friends were rednecking it up on the front lawn (drinking and playing croquet) when me and a buddy started wrestling. He had me pinned, so I did what anyone would do - I grabbed a croquet bat and tried to hit him with it. I missed him and bonked myself in the head. It took us about 10 minutes to stop laughing.
That certainly puts a new spin on getting hammered. I think you were doing it the wrong way though.
I was at a volleyball camp in high school and we were doing a drill where everyone would get in a circle facing inwards with a volleyball, and one person would stand in the middle. The camp was pretty good, so that's like 50 people.
Anyway, the goal of the drill was for everyone with a ball to spike it at the person in the middle, and they had to get one "touch" on every ball. I was doing great when it came to be my turn, until the last 5 or 10 people.
Just as I was recovering from getting a hand on one spike, another ball came flying at my face and hit me pretty square, knocked my glasses off and gave me a little cut below my cheek. Naturally, I put my hands up to my face to prevent any further damage, and leaned back as well.
The thing about this drill was everytime someone spiked, you had to have your ball in the air ready to spike directly after that so there wasn't any time for the person in the middle to reset. Thus, as I'm leaning back holding my face, I get a full-on volleyball spike to my junk, and proceed to collapse in the middle of the gym floor in the fetal position, one hand surveying the damage to my face, the other gingerly protecting my boys from further assault.
Apparently it was a hilarious event that most people remember fondly, as I still to this day have one or two people I knew outside of the camp remind me of that particular drill almost every time they see me. Not only that, they always feel the need to share this story with any of our friends who might not have heard it.
when i read your title, it reminded me of this, when i read your post, yep definately reminded me of this.
"Barney's movie had heart, but "Football in the Groin" had a football in the groin"
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I’m always amazed these sportscasters and announcers can call the game with McDavid’s **** in their mouths all the time.
I was at a volleyball camp in high school and we were doing a drill where everyone would get in a circle facing inwards with a volleyball, and one person would stand in the middle. The camp was pretty good, so that's like 50 people.
Anyway, the goal of the drill was for everyone with a ball to spike it at the person in the middle, and they had to get one "touch" on every ball. I was doing great when it came to be my turn, until the last 5 or 10 people.
Just as I was recovering from getting a hand on one spike, another ball came flying at my face and hit me pretty square, knocked my glasses off and gave me a little cut below my cheek. Naturally, I put my hands up to my face to prevent any further damage, and leaned back as well.
The thing about this drill was everytime someone spiked, you had to have your ball in the air ready to spike directly after that so there wasn't any time for the person in the middle to reset. Thus, as I'm leaning back holding my face, I get a full-on volleyball spike to my junk, and proceed to collapse in the middle of the gym floor in the fetal position, one hand surveying the damage to my face, the other gingerly protecting my boys from further assault.
Apparently it was a hilarious event that most people remember fondly, as I still to this day have one or two people I knew outside of the camp remind me of that particular drill almost every time they see me. Not only that, they always feel the need to share this story with any of our friends who might not have heard it.
I really thought that was going in a waaaaay different direction after the first paragraph.
One time I punched myself in the love nuggets just to get response from a friend. I did this while driving. I'd recommend not doing that while behind the wheel, too many dead pedestrians.
Mine is very similar to the OP. I was in high school, we had a substitute teacher teaching gym class. And you know with sub teachers, it's an open door to goof off and screw around like idiots. We went the local field to play football. Our sub teacher was a pretty cool dude. Young guy, thick American accent, liked rap music and sports. We thought he was the coolest dude ever. We got to the field and So I started yapping at him in front of everybody, making fun of him, kind of getting on his nerves. Just goofing around. He told me to go run a slant and he'd throw the ball to me. I went to run....everyone watching, including the hot chick with the big guns.
Oh, probably at this time of the story, I should mention that our teacher was Todd Bernett, former QB and Passing Yard and TD record holder(to this date) at Eastern Washington University. He could zip the ball like a pro.....I ran about 10 yards, turned around and I had no chance......not only did he throw it hard, he threw it right at my junk to shut me up.......I remember the feeling of the ball hitting right on the head of my shaft. I still cringe when I think about it.....I fell to the ground in about 0.2 seconds. I writhed in pain while everyone in the class, including the hot chick with huge guns laughed at me.
Mr. Bernett became a full time teacher the next year and I never gave him a hard time ever again.
When I was 10 I was in my neighbours back yard eating blackberries. I was throwing them in the air and then catching them in my mouth.
Well, I wasn't paying attentionand tripped over the handle of a rake that was lying in the grass. I fell flat on my a$$ right on the prongs that were pointing up. And it wasn't one of those plastic ones... it was like this one:
When I was 9, the teacher was out of the classroom so I was showing off, dicking around. I threw a small bouncy ball across the classroom, it bounced off the wall and hit me right in the left testy.... Oh god I remember that pain. I dropped so fast and started crying in front of the entire class, who was laughing at me.
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"we're going to win game 7," Daniel Sedin told the Vancpuver Sun.
Man Getting Hit in Groin by Football
(maybe minus the rust, but exactly like this)
