Handicapped People in Certain Situations

[Sliver]

Okay, this is kind of a sensitive topic, but I was hoping I could get a little feedback on this.

So yesterday my wife and I took our kids to see UP! at the cheap theatre (great movie, BTW). Anyway, there was a mentally handicapped guy with his helper sitting directly behind us. He moaned and groaned VERY loudly throughout the entire movie.

This didn't ruin the experience for us, but it definetely took away a lot of the enjoyment. The yelping was often jarring, sounding sometimes haunting, sometimes funny and sometimes pornographic.

I can certainly appreciate his right to enjoy a movie, but the fact that my experience (and those of others around me) was affected in a negative way seems a touch unfair. For those that are about to cry foul on me and say big f'n deal, suck it up, etc. please note that I'm not making this into a big deal. We sat through the movie, treated it as a learning opportunity for the kids about disabilities and went along with our day.

This question this raised for me is this: Are there some things in society that certain members are not capable of doing and therefore should not do? I'm not talking about banning mentally challenged people from movies, but would it not be appropriate for the helper to say, you know, I think with you we are just going to rent movies and we'll find other activities that don't require two hours of complete silence.

It just seems that we are quick to be inclusive when it is for the greater good sometimes to accept limitations instead of pretending they aren't there. At the end of the day, I thought it was rude of the helper to bring this gentleman to the movie. Anybody have any thoughts on that? Meh who knows, maybe I'm just a jerk.

[RW99]

I once mentioned a distracting person at a Flames game and got castsized for it, as unbenounced to me he might have been differently abled.

Best of luck to you

On the topic, I don't think we should ever try to have the differently abled work around us, we should work around them. But on the other side, I don't see the need for him to watch it in theatres when a dvd would be cheaper based on the two of them. Was it in 3D?

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by RW99

I once mentioned a distracting person at a Flames game and got castsized for it, as unbenounced to me he might have been differently abled.

Best of luck to you

Hmmm, well if the soapboxes come out I'm screwed. I hope I didn't set up the question with too specific example but what I'm hoping we can discuss is the idea that sometimes disabilities can and do prevent people from doing everything a "normal" person can do.

[Sliver]

Oh and this wasn't the 3D version of the movie...just the regular version.

[Flash Walken]

Originally Posted by fotze

Sure it wasn't flamesgimp masturbating?

It's a children's movie, not a movie about children.

[HPLovecraft]

My girlfriend is in a wheelchair (spinal injury, nothing mental), and from my angle, it's what the other guy said, people need to work around them, not the other way around, because there are really so, so, so many situations and everyday things that those with disabilities can't do, and they end up having to 'work around' the able bodied folks to be able to do just about anything. Heck, it can be a difficulty even going up the street if the schmucks doing the sidewalks don't actually make a low enough curb and just assume everybody can just step up over it onto the sidewalk.

I could go into it in detail, and get myself all riled up, but look at it this way... You had to put up with that for 2 hours, at the most. What does that poor soul have to put up with his entire life? One movie where you were disturbed the odd time just doesn't seem that important in the long run. Let him enjoy going to the movies, too.

[rubecube]

I'm drunk and crude. So at this point I'm just going to politely bow out of this thread before I go to Hell.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by HPLovecraft

My girlfriend is in a wheelchair (spinal injury, nothing mental), and from my angle, it's what the other guy said, people need to work around them, not the other way around, because there are really so, so, so many situations and everyday things that those with disabilities can't do, and they end up having to 'work around' the able bodied folks to be able to do just about anything. Heck, it can be a difficulty even going up the street if the schmucks doing the sidewalks don't actually make a low enough curb and just assume everybody can just step up over it onto the sidewalk.

I could go into it in detail, and get myself all riled up, but look at it this way... You had to put with up with that for 2 hours, at the most. What does that poor soul have to put up with his entire life? One movie where you were disturbed the odd time just doesn't seem that important in the long run. Let him enjoy going to the movies, too.

Yeah I hear you for sure. That's pretty much where we landed on the subject as well, but I do think it raises an interesting question that doesn't hurt to discuss. I'm sorry if it offended you.

[Bownesian]

Could either of you have changed seats?

Either way, I don't think it's really appropriate to take someone disruptive to that kind of event if it disturbs the people around them. I'm pretty sure that one of these days Mrs. Bownesian and I will bring our twins to a Flames game (an analogous situation). If the people in our section can't handle a little bit of infant "cheering", I'll be disappointed as it's fine to talk and make noise in the 'Dome but I wouldn't take them to a regular movie showing on a weekend or to the symphony or to a play where the audience has a reasonable expectation to not be disturbed.

For the movies, there are alternatives, including the Stars and Strollers afternoon showings, where moms (and Dads) and babies are encouraged to watch a movie where it's ok for the kids to make noise. That would have been a much more appropriate venue because silence isn't what everyone's expecting.

[HPLovecraft]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Yeah I hear you for sure. That's pretty much where we landed on the subject as well, but I do think it raises an interesting question that doesn't hurt to discuss. I'm sorry if it offended you.

It didn't offend me, because you come across as sincere about it. The funny thing is, my girlfriend is the one in the chair and is the one far less sensitive over these things. I feel like springing into an uncontrollable rage sometimes when we're out and about and the bone headed things people say and do around us.

Who knows, maybe that guy and his attendant do normally rent DVDs or what not (most likely), and this is the one time in months or years he actually went out to see a movie. Or perhaps it was a recent injury that happened, and he's out trying to gain the confidence and the ability to do things on his own again (if it's even possible). When my girlfriend first suffered her injury one of the first things they did was escort her to a movie theater so she can learn how to do something as simple as that on her own again.

It can be a stressful thing going to a movie theater with someone in a chair sometimes, and I can imagine even more stressful if the person you're with has a mental handicap, so I doubt they do it all the time. But who knows. Usually someone with a serious disability like that won't normally go do those things because of a number of reasons. If it's disruptive, especially, I don't know if it should be done all that much, obviously.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Bownesian

Could either of you have changed seats?

Either way, I don't think it's really appropriate to take someone disruptive to that kind of event if it disturbs the people around them. I'm pretty sure that one of these days Mrs. Bownesian and I will bring our twins to a Flames game (an analogous situation). If the people in our section can't handle a little bit of infant "cheering", I'll be disappointed as it's fine to talk and make noise in the 'Dome but I wouldn't take them to a regular movie showing on a weekend or to the symphony or to a play where the audience has a reasonable expectation to not be disturbed.

For the movies, there are alternatives, including the Stars and Strollers afternoon showings, where moms (and Dads) and babies are encouraged to watch a movie where it's ok for the kids to make noise. That would have been a much more appropriate venue because silence isn't what everyone's expecting.

Thanks for the post

With respect to changing seats, yes we could have but I thought that would have been rude and two rudes don't make a right lol.

[Flash Walken]

HP has pretty much summed up my thoughts on the matter.

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by Flash Walken

It's a children's movie, not a movie about children.

Maybe it wasn't the movie that caught his fancy.

[Bownesian]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Thanks for the post

With respect to changing seats, yes we could have but I thought that would have been rude and two rudes don't make a right lol.

You know, since it was in the cheap theatre and there was room to move around, they were already making accommodations for the other patrons. I'm sure it would have been much easier to ignore from a row or two away.

I still stand by my statement that it would have been inappropriate to bring such a person to a sold out opening night show or something like that but a mostly empty theatre on an off time is a different story in my view.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Bownesian

You know, since it was in the cheap theatre and there was room to move around, they were already making accommodations for the other patrons. I'm sure it would have been much easier to ignore from a row or two away.

I still stand by my statement that it would have been inappropriate to bring such a person to a sold out opening night show or something like that but a mostly empty theatre on an off time is a different story in my view.

It was the cheap theatre but it was still 80% full.

[DOK]

I don't think changing seats would be rude. Your giving this person the room to be himself, and your letting yourself enjoy the movie. If it were a small child, or a teenager, you'd probably move. It's not like you would get up, flip this guy off call him a name and move, you'd just move. I think this would fit into working around the situation in a good and respectable way.

[flip]

I sort of agree with HP here.

One thing I'd add is that you probably should have just got up, walked out and asked for a refund and explained why. Even tickets to another showing of the same movie could have been arranged.

Personally I don't think you should have to just sit there and "put up with it" because the guy lives a harder life than you, but clearly you can't turn around and tell him to STFU.

By getting an exchange/refund you let the guy moan during the movie and you can see the movie without being distracted.

Live and let live. No one should "have" to put up with anything but there are nicer ways of not putting up with it than telling the guy to STFU.

Originally Posted by Bownesian

I still stand by my statement that it would have been inappropriate to bring such a person to a sold out opening night show or something like that but a mostly empty theatre on an off time is a different story in my view.

I 100% agree. The helper should not be putting this person in a situation where he will be (unintentionally) ruining the movie for numerous other patrons who payed full price in a full theatre on opening night. This particular case sounds fine though.

Everyone has the right to enjoy a movie in silence. Generally I believe the onus lies with the disrupter to find a solution where they can enjoy the movie without ruining it for everyone else. In the OP's case I think the helper did that. (ie took the disabled guy to a cheap theatre, presumably sat at the back etc)


Personally, even though it sounds kind of cold and heartless, I don't want to be grossly inconvenienced by anyone, be they lesser abled or not. I'll use an example for context. There is a wheelchair "nazi" at the U of C. This lady will seriously run you over if you don't move out of the way for her and she'll literally yell at people who don't promptly make way for her. Her scooter moves quite quickly and as such goes faster than people walk. For some reason she feels that we should make way for her but I disagree and have had a few run-ins with this monster in the last 6 years. Clearly this lady thinks that the fact she is disabled means that she is entitled to something. I of course, completely disagree. I believe all people should be treated with the SAME courtesy regardless of physical or mental abilities. That is to say if someone is polite I'll let them pass me no matter who they are. For some reason this sad excuse of a woman believes that the fact that she is disabled entitles her to have the unique right of treating people like s*** just because her life is harder than mine (presumably her life is harder than mine because she can't walk).

Since a lot of seriously disabled people aren't choosing where they go I generally blame the helper if I feel they've put the person in a position where their enjoyment is put front and center at the cost of the enjoyment of other patrons (especially when paying $$ is involved). I know it sounds insensitive but sometimes I don't buy the whole "their life is so hard, we should have to make sacrifices so that they can enjoy things too". Well I agree with the equal treatment of all patrons so regardless if the distraction is a compulsion or not, I believe all people have the right to enjoy something they payed for.

That being said, I'm talking about MAJOR distractions only and in many cases, like the one the OP mentioned, moving or asking for a refund is easily done.

I think consideration for others should always be considered. Whether that means moving from a moaning disabled guy or making a point of renting movies instead of frequenting a theatre if the persons actions can disrupt the entire theatre and ruin their experience.

[Red Potato Standing By]

really does it matter,some movies of the comedic variety a person goes to you run into lots of loud laughter by peole and it seams to be okay..so really probably not much different..

now if it was a serious drama type movie maybe then it would be uncalled for i guess..

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by Flash Walken

It's a children's movie, not a movie about children.

hey man, fotze is the one getting erections over boys with down syndrome who are well endowed

[Flames_Gimp]

maybe you guys could just stay at home and watch on dvd.