I really had no idea how to word this thread, so let me get right to the story.
Today I was played recording of an ex of mine from ages (4 yrs) ago, who called into one of those syndicated advice shows last week (100% guarantee it's him). Anyway he complained about basically his miserable life, his exes, and lack of happiness--yada yada right? So the host basically saw though him and ripped him apart better than I even could have. I haven't laughed that hard in years as it was totally perfect. Of course he was speechless then indignant. Water under the bridge? Oh ya, long over things--but it still felt good.
So has anyone ever have something similar happen to a former fling/significant other/whatever? To me this is a one-in-a-million deal how it played out so perfectly--with thousands of people listening--but I'd love to hear other's stories.
The first girlfriend I ever slept with I dumped the next day by leaving her a letter. Two days later I was at a party and asked her if she wanted to have sex again and she said she would not sleep with a guy unless she was dating him so I asked her back out, did the deed, and retrieved the letter I gave her the first time and just gave it to her again. She ended up a lesbian.
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The first girlfriend I ever slept with I dumped the next day by leaving her a letter. Two days later I was at a party and asked her if she wanted to have sex again and she said she would not sleep with a guy unless she was dating him so I asked her back out, did the deed, and retrieved the letter I gave her the first time and just gave it to her again. She ended up a lesbian.
The first girlfriend I ever slept with I dumped the next day by leaving her a letter. Two days later I was at a party and asked her if she wanted to have sex again and she said she would not sleep with a guy unless she was dating him so I asked her back out, did the deed, and retrieved the letter I gave her the first time and just gave it to her again. She ended up a lesbian.
When my first wife and I separated, I had to make maintenance payments for about 8 months while she finished university, plus a lump sum settlement that was roughly equivalent to her student loans. Ya, she got a good deal considering she was nothing but a tramp who would screw anybody with a pulse.
The good part of this story is that she didn't declare any of this money on her tax return and wound up getting audited. Who says you have to be smart to go to university. The story gets better though. She invested most of the lump sum payment with a financial institution that went under shortly thereafter ... the Principal Group. Karma's a beach eh?
When my first wife and I separated, I had to make maintenance payments for about 8 months while she finished university, plus a lump sum settlement that was roughly equivalent to her student loans. Ya, she got a good deal considering she was nothing but a tramp who would screw anybody with a pulse.
The good part of this story is that she didn't declare any of this money on her tax return and wound up getting audited. Who says you have to be smart to go to university. The story gets better though. She invested most of the lump sum payment with a financial institution that went under shortly thereafter ... the Principal Group. Karma's a beach eh?
I have a pulse, can I have her number
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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Back in college my GF of 3 years told me she was moving out. I asked her to have all her crap out by the next day. So she tried to stab me with a screwdriver, poured bleach in my fishtank to kill my fish, moved out all her stuff while I was gone but left the couch. But she took the cushions so I couldn't use it. That was fun. This girl recently found me on Facebook to apologise for the attempted stabbing. She's now unhappily married with two kids and wants to meet up again. I pass.
Back in college my GF of 3 years told me she was moving out. I asked her to have all her crap out by the next day. So she tried to stab me with a screwdriver, poured bleach in my fishtank to kill my fish, moved out all her stuff while I was gone but left the couch. But she took the cushions so I couldn't use it. That was fun. This girl recently found me on Facebook to apologise for the attempted stabbing. She's now unhappily married with two kids and wants to meet up again. I pass.
What? You need a sense of revenge my young friend. Go for lunch with her and dose her drink with bleach. Then when she's lying there suffering you can stab her with a screwdriver while yelling "This is for my fish flipper who didn't live to graduate from fish college"
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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I really had no idea how to word this thread, so let me get right to the story.
Today I was played recording of an ex of mine from ages (4 yrs) ago, who called into one of those syndicated advice shows last week (100% guarantee it's him). Anyway he complained about basically his miserable life, his exes, and lack of happiness--yada yada right? So the host basically saw though him and ripped him apart better than I even could have. I haven't laughed that hard in years as it was totally perfect. Of course he was speechless then indignant. Water under the bridge? Oh ya, long over things--but it still felt good.
So has anyone ever have something similar happen to a former fling/significant other/whatever? To me this is a one-in-a-million deal how it played out so perfectly--with thousands of people listening--but I'd love to hear other's stories.
My ex and I lived together. When we broke up she moved back to her parents. When moving day came, I moved my stuff and called her to get the rest of her crap. She said she was busy and her dad would pick up her stuff in the morning. So I threw all her crap into a few boxes. But seeings how her dad was super religous, I placed her BOB (battery operated buddy) on top of the box in plain view. She left me a furious voice mail message....Priceless!!
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mhm, won't mention the exact show cause I don't think it's appropriate, and some dirty laundry there.
My guy was scary, one of those people who have no concept of personal responsibility, along with other issues he hides well. I'm actually quite lucky to be here, healthy and happy.
mhm, won't mention the exact show cause I don't think it's appropriate, and some dirty laundry there.
My guy was scary, one of those people who have no concept of personal responsibility, along with other issues he hides well. I'm actually quite lucky to be here, healthy and happy.
No prob. The way you described the host ripping into your ex reminded me of how Carolla would call out a lame caller on occasion.
Funny ex stories
