A few gems I heard over the past two weddings I went to over the past two weekends
"(Bride's name) some things never change even after all these years. (Insert her age) years ago your parents took you home from the hospital with love in their eyes and put you to bed with a dummy . . . and here we are today it's like deja-vu all over again"
"Through the course of your marriage you'll have lots of ups and downs . . . between the bed sheets"
"I knew (groom) back in high school, he used to work at McDonalds in the drive-thru . . . taking orders
Then he went to worked at a call centre, where it was his job to sit there, having people call him . . . taking orders
Then he enlisted in the military, did their education, through serving at the base, and chain of command and all that, for the past five years it's been his job to help keep the peace . . . taking orders
Then after all these years, since he was in high school, taking orders, when he felt he had enough training, when he felt he was good and ready . . . then he proposed to (the bride)"
"Attention (father of the bride) I just received a message for you from Steve down at the bank, he said your reverse mortgage has gone through so you don't have to worry about paying for the wedding!"
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"Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
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