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Old 05-26-2006, 01:25 PM   #1
The Jerk
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To all members of the CPHL, and especially the stupid ones:



I have been following the CPHL for a long time now. As a well respected member of the media, I have decided to keep my identity hidden so that I can express my opinion of this league without repercussions. I am well aware that other members of the media visit this site but they just don’t have the same hockey knowledge as I do. I am prepared to take a few minutes out of my extremely busy schedule to comment on what I see taking place here. Some of it is hilarious and some of it is just plain stupid.

Let me start by saying that although this league is considered by many to be one of the absolute best out there, it is far from great. The CPHL could be a whole lot better and it all starts with the Commissioners.

Mr. “Cheese/Hitler” must be pretty desperate to allow some of you GM’s to be in a league like this. For a guy who is as bossy as he is, you’d think he would at least be able to find competent GM’s to do a decent job. This guy “Flambers” is supposed to be in charge of player movement but the only thing that should be moving is his butt on another vacation. His team does better when he’s gone! KevinGuy is in charge of “Simulator, Site Updates, General questions”??? I am surprised he finds the time to do all of this when he should be at Wendy’s pounding down 20 cheeseburgers or something. Take a break and grow another beard why don’t you. Hiding that ugly face of yours was the best thing you ever did. Transplant and Fire are around here somewhere but by the time they actually read this I will have moved off from this pitiful place.

Now, let me move on to the GM’s. I have a feeling Some GM’s are active and some just sit with what they have and sleep their CPHL experience away. WAKE UP! Make some trades or something and get going.

What’s up with some of these player ratings I see? Talk about unrealistic! The closest thing Garth Snow is to a 76 is his age! From the pictures I have seen, one can say the same for Mr. Cheese as well. I’ll say a little prayer for Cheese but only because I am a very religious man. I pray for his sake that Snow can make it through the next CPHL season without visiting the old age home. Although getting to the home is unlikely considering Snow spends most of his time sitting on the bench in the NHL.

Saying that players like Eaton, Halpern, Daley, and Perreault can only be moved in an exceptional deal is like saying Rita McNeil can only be moved with just one tow truck. It just isn’t right. When did these junk players ever deserve to be playing? Mango, here’s some advice for you: trade them while they are “hot” because they won’t be for long.

I notice that Jason Spezza is on the block. According to that thread, the poor GM down in San Jose sent an e-mail off in regards to the young man. Sorry pal, you just can’t trade your entire team because that is what it would take. In fact, who would want that junk you have their anyway? Get trading Mr. Witzel because your team sucks bad!

MJK, you seem like you are one of the most active GM’s in this league but from what I can see you haven’t won anything yet. Are you having some bad luck or are you just a bad GM? It seems to me that you have some key players on your roster so I wonder if it’s time for a new GM. Also stop trading just for the hell of it, it gets annoying.

Do the Oilers, Hurricanes, Sabers, Flyers, and Coyotes even have GM’s? Someone wake me up when they decide to start playing this game and making their teams better. I would have included the Sharks in that list but I already know they have a GM…barely. These guys are scared to make trades! The Oilers could easily be the best team in the CPHL yet they have forgotten that MSN is a place to make trade offers. That’s almost as bad as the Sabers forgetting what MSN is altogether. The Hurricanes are bland and the new GM Yip is nonexistent. WAKE UP! Get it together and have some fun with this. It’s a SIM league and the players are not real. TRADE!!!!!!

Speaking of new GM’s: I am hearing lots of rumblings in the media that one guy in particular is making some bad trade offers. I will not mention any names but no one wants to trade Ilya Kovalchuk for Blair Betts.

Regarding the other GM’s in this league:

Axel, you are indeed old. Are you sure you can see the letters on the keyboard?

Grant, what kind of a person could like Jiri Hrdina? I have no respect for you at all.

Goffie, how much did you have to pay that girl to sit next to you in that picture on your roster page? Man you’re an ugly guy.

Tim, you are actually pretty old too. Give Axel a call for some tips on ageing.

Becky, those Hawks suck. Maybe you need to be fired along with MJK?

I have an important meeting to go to so I’ll have to cut this short for now. You can say what you want about me and my opinions but I know I am right. You guys just need to realize that most of you suck.

Get busy and make your team better…it’s a sim league for god sakes.

Last edited by The Jerk; 05-26-2006 at 01:37 PM.
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:33 PM   #2
Cheese
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Your a$$ is fired! Now who are you?
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:38 PM   #3
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Hmmmm. Me thinks this so-called "jerk" has a cheesy odor to him. Fess up old man...its you isn't it!
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:40 PM   #4
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FYI, I searched the IP and it isnt being used by anyone else on CP.
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:40 PM   #5
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Didn't Sylvanfan do something like this before???

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Old 05-26-2006, 01:45 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JiriHrdina
Hmmmm. Me thinks this so-called "jerk" has a cheesy odor to him. Fess up old man...its you isn't it!
If it was me itd be the F'n Jerk....
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Old 05-26-2006, 02:00 PM   #7
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What a joke
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Old 05-26-2006, 02:00 PM   #8
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Holiday???? I am working 16 hours days with one of Manufacturing Plants that I support. I will get home at midnight tonight and then I travel back first thing next week... but a good team can win without a GM....
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Old 05-26-2006, 02:17 PM   #9
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Well it's not me. I only ever did J.Jonah Mathieson last year. Any of the guys this year aren't me.

But I must admit that I think this was pretty good. Probably a former CPHL GM maybe Liam, maybe Moon.
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Last edited by Sylvanfan; 05-26-2006 at 02:26 PM.
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Old 05-26-2006, 02:25 PM   #10
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Old 05-26-2006, 02:26 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
If it was me itd be the F'n Jerk....
Don't you mean Old F'n Jerk?
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Old 05-26-2006, 02:35 PM   #12
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Old. LOL FYI.t he picture on my roster page is Fake like this league.. its all fantasy lol..... That guy in the picture is probably double my age... LOL.
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Old 05-26-2006, 03:22 PM   #13
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Well well, whoever you are, you can kiss my fat ass.

The Hawks are fine. We like them, and that is what matters. Sometimes GMs play to have fun, not necessarilary to win the Cup. Been there, done that, it wasn't all that.

But you are bang on about some other things. Except Tim, he isn't old.

You must be on MSN to know who isn't. Unless they blocked you a long time ago, which would make sense.
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Old 05-26-2006, 03:33 PM   #14
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Whoever it is, they seemed to ignore me... not sure whether I should be happy about that, or saddened that I fly under the radar so much.
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Old 05-26-2006, 03:36 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunderball
Whoever it is, they seemed to ignore me... not sure whether I should be happy about that, or saddened that I fly under the radar so much.
Who are you???































LOL
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Old 05-26-2006, 04:04 PM   #16
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So it's someone who knows the league well, probably a former GM... who's been let go recently? Dallas, Phoenix... hmmm
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Old 05-26-2006, 04:08 PM   #17
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Well I feel like writing out a huge comment but it would only be a complete waste of time. That's all this idiot wants anyways.

Although I must admit some of it was kinda funny...
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Old 05-26-2006, 04:09 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MJK
Although I must admit some of it was kinda funny...
Especially the part about MJK!!
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Old 05-26-2006, 04:11 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans
Especially the part about MJK!!
Only because it isn't true.

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Old 05-26-2006, 04:27 PM   #20
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So MJK, what was your girlfriend doing when you were writing that big rant on her computer?
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