You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by KTrain

If you don't have even a little bit of guilt about missing one of your friends/family member's wedding or event, I question if you actually consider them friends at all.

Whoa you’re totally a guilt tripper already aren’t you?

Guilt is not the emotion you should feel if you can’t afford to go to a friends wedding.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

Whoa you’re totally a guilt tripper already aren’t you?

Guilt is not the emotion you should feel if you can’t afford to go to a friends wedding.

I felt more guilt from KTrain’s post than skipping my friend’s wedding.

[KTrain]

Originally Posted by Wormius

No, I don’t really feel any tremendous feeling of guilt by not going to a wedding. For one thing, the couple are going to be immensely busy, second their families are there and are going to be highest priority for any available face to face with your friend. Why would I feel guilty about not going to an event where my presence or absence would be basically unnoticed. A friend moved out to Edmonton and I see him a lot anyway when he would come back to visit family in Kelowna. I wasn’t going to make a trip out to Edmonton in November for a wedding. I am not a sociopath or anything, but I don’t feel terrible about that and didn’t get any awkward comments the next time I saw him.

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

Whoa you’re totally a guilt tripper already aren’t you?

Guilt is not the emotion you should feel if you can’t afford to go to a friends wedding.

Typically they invite you because the bride and/or groom care enough about you that they want you included in their day.

I'm not saying I'm riddled with guilt because I don't attend these weddings, it's more "I wish I had more free time/disposable money to attend because they thought enough about me to want me there."

If it's just an acquaintance, no guilt is fine.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by Sliver

A million percent this. My wife and I got married at 25. We eloped in a hotel room in Chateau Lake Louise. I paid for my friends' hotel room, too, so they were out of pocket exactly $0. Expecting young people to pay a bunch of money and time for your party is absurd and classless imo.

Also did it over a normal weekend instead of a long weekend as I know long weekends are few and far between (as well as precious).

Reception was a barbecue in my aunt and uncle's backyard one evening a couple of months later.

Any other way is fataing lame and rude.

My brother's was the actual worst. Emerald Lake Lodge in between Christmas and New Years. Like, what a ####. Had people travelling from Saskatchewan (that's where all our family is from) in the middle of winter to stay for a couple nights at one of the most expensive destinations in Western Canada at a time of year filled with a hundred other expenses, stresses and familial obligations. It was nucking futs. People went, but there was an underlying - and well deserved - resentment for the whole event dripping from everyone.

Also ridiculous is when the couple decides to throw themselves half a dozen parties in their own honour on the lead up to the event.

Weddings bring out the worst in some people.

You don’t say.

[Hemi-Cuda]

I'll take our hastily planned shotgun wedding (surprise baby forced our hand) over the big fancy ones anytime. We still had a nice small ceremony & reception with our closest family & friends, got some excellent photos, and we spent less than $5k for everything. The money saved ended up going into a house down payment fund, allowing us to buy right before the covid price stupidity. Wins all around IMO

[djsFlames]

Originally Posted by Johnny199r

People who want to tell you about their dreams. I don’t care and never will. “So, I had the weirdest dream last night” is a phrase I can’t stand hearing. Just keep it to yourself.

But what if it's a sick prophecy that involves you.

[getbak]

Whenever the topic of destination weddings comes up, I think about the episode of Scrubs where the Janitor got married in the Bahamas and only invited people because he thought no one would show up but would still feel obligated to buy them presents.

Janitor: I invited you to a wedding in a foreign country on three days' notice, you weren't supposed to come! I just wanted the gifts. You see any of the other 847 invites here? We're not even having a ceremony, man!

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Originally Posted by Sliver

My brother's was the actual worst. Emerald Lake Lodge in between Christmas and New Years. Like, what a ####. Had people travelling from Saskatchewan (that's where all our family is from) in the middle of winter to stay for a couple nights at one of the most expensive destinations in Western Canada at a time of year filled with a hundred other expenses, stresses and familial obligations. It was nucking futs. People went, but there was an underlying - and well deserved - resentment for the whole event dripping from everyone.

I used to think this type of wedding was the pinnace of wedding excess. Then I went to an East Indian wedding. I didn't think it was possible to know 1,200 people. Or that a wedding could take days, not hours.

To make matters worse - the groom was white and they tacked on another day of a Catholic ceremony / dinner.

Pretty sure you could buy a small condo for that kind of money. I know they got a lot of big dollar cash gifts to offset the costs but still....for what?

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by I-Hate-Hulse

I used to think this type of wedding was the pinnace of wedding excess.

Then I went to an East Indian wedding. I didn't think it was possible to know 1,200 people. Or that a wedding could take days, not hours.

To make matters worse - the groom was white and they tacked on another day of a Catholic ceremony / dinner.

Pretty sure you could buy a small condo for that kind of money. I know they got a lot of big dollar cash gifts to offset the costs but still....for what?

To impress the aunties. That's what its always about.

[djsFlames]

Originally Posted by chedder

The cost is reasonable because you're downloading it all to your guilted friends who are coerced into coming. They pay the inflated all inclusive cost so the bride and groom get a free meal and room.

If you want cheap and small elope or have it in your backyard.

I'd only tie the knot with someone who is on board with my lifestyle doing fun and adventurous #### on a regular basis, so we wouldn't need an extravagant event because life is already fun a lot of the time. Also it's considerate to friends and family to make the logistics and costs easy on them, so chances are you'd be well liked/on good terms long afterwards.

People that empty a fortune and their souls into those 3-4 "significant" life events have nothing thereafter that can live up to it, so they end up looking back longingly for years after the emotional drop off and pining over it. All the more reason to have a low key wedding and just make your life awesome in general.

This one-upping culture definitely has its drawbacks, but it often isn't obvious on the surface, but experienced over time when people get bummed out over the fact that they can't out-do the last thing they did and there are no more big occasions left.

Keep it ho hum and live the way you want, imo. There's less comparing and a higher floor of joy and contentment.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by Sainters7

Weddings. Is there anything more overdone in our society? They're so corny and overly formal.

I didn't have to go to one for 6 years, suddenly there's 3 this summer, and I'm playing a major role in all 3. 2 of which are out of town and in boujee locations where it's $500 hotel room night, on top of all the planning for games, speeches, etc. I've probably dropped over $2K on all this and I'm not even the one getting married

If Covid did anything positive for us, it frikking Nuked our wedding plans, and it ended up being awesome.

We went from a 60-70k 50 person Maui Wedding to a quaint 20 person Emerald Lake Winter Wedding we pulled off for about 15k including accommodations for all our guests. It was small enough we got to be creative and build a lot of our own decorations, table settings, arch etc in the months leading up.

It was wonderful, all 20 people there, I genuinely loved and wanted there. There was no people invited that were there just because we felt obligated. I've been to so many weddings that have guests nobody likes except one person, but because they are related in some way shape or form to somebody they get a free pass.

They limited us to 20 people plus us and the officiant and we had to think hard and long about what 20 people we invited. It was such a memorable day, and everybody knew and liked everyone else. I'd recommend to anyone to do it small regardless of what you can afford.

[CaptainYooh]

Originally Posted by KTrain

A destination wedding is the most selfish thing you can do for your celebration unless you're paying for all the people you invite to attend.

"BuT ThEy DoN't HaVe To CoMe!".

Instead you're sending them on a guilt trip for choosing finances over friendship. Choosing to use their vacation time how they want instead of your plans. Buying clothes they'll never wear again so everyone in the party can match....

As someone who had wasted $12,000 this summer on a 3-night trip to Acapulco and 3-night trip to Tofino, I approve the above message.

[81MC]

####ing Gov of Alberta and their archaic god damned registry business practises.

My names on pink card policy. Wife’s name on bill of sale. Can I register vehicle? No. Can I register on her behalf? Not without PRINTING a document for her to sign then SCANNING that document and EMAILING said document to specific registry that has the bill of sale EMAILED to them DIRECTLY from the DEALERSHIP.

What kind of cumsock mother####er has a working printer in 2022 and why the hell do I need to print a document to sign it just to scan the god damned thing and email it back to you? My name is on. The. Pink. Slip. For #### sakes.

So I gotta go to staples to print a form to have someone sign to call and ask to have someone email some documents to someone else so I can scan the printed and signed document and email to the same party so I can pay my money to get a license plate.

Get. Bent you mororns

[EverfresH15]

I raise you my wife trying to get paid EI as she’s on mat leave. She hasn’t been paid in 2 months. Calls to see what’s up. Oh, we’re sorry we’ve been paying someone else. It will take up to 21 days to fix. Call us back. Called back and it hasn’t been fixed and doesn’t know when it will be. Call back again a week later, lady says she will escalate it and should hear back from someone in 5 days. Called again today and it’s been escalated to 3 days. She will call in 3 days and be told it’s escalated to 1 day(what the stupid lady on the other end said).

It’s been nearly 4 months. Thankfully we have savings but I can’t imagine being in a tough spot and this is how long those morons are dragging this out.

The f@cked you thing is they already have her banking info as she goes in EI every sometimes. ��#♂️

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by GordonBlue

A good part of being old, with few friends, and no contact with extended family.
Haven't been to a wedding in probably 10 years.

I am just waiting for the pendulum to swing and all the kids starting to get married. Our friend group has 7 billion girls. I am sure a number of summers will be wrecked wonderfully impacted.

Then there is the wildcard of the second marriages which should be starting soon. Have avoided this so far. Luck can't hold forever.

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by DownInFlames

I went to a destination wedding on Grand Cayman as a friend’s +1. I don’t normally like beaches but having a wedding on one was pretty amazing. The couple getting married worked at the resort so we got a deal. It was a trip I would never choose to make otherwise so I’m glad it happened.

I read this as grand canyon and thought that would be really cool. And then it wasn't as cool.

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by pylon

If Covid did anything positive for us, it frikking Nuked our wedding plans, and it ended up being awesome.

We went from a 60-70k 50 person Maui Wedding to a quaint 20 person Emerald Lake Winter Wedding we pulled off for about 15k including accommodations for all our guests. It was small enough we got to be creative and build a lot of our own decorations, table settings, arch etc in the months leading up.

It was wonderful, all 20 people there, I genuinely loved and wanted there. There was no people invited that were there just because we felt obligated. I've been to so many weddings that have guests nobody likes except one person, but because they are related in some way shape or form to somebody they get a free pass.

They limited us to 20 people plus us and the officiant and we had to think hard and long about what 20 people we invited. It was such a memorable day, and everybody knew and liked everyone else. I'd recommend to anyone to do it small regardless of what you can afford.

Did we just find out that Pylon is Sliver's Dick brother? Wow!!!

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by pylon

If Covid did anything positive for us, it frikking Nuked our wedding plans, and it ended up being awesome.

We went from a 60-70k 50 person Maui Wedding to a quaint 20 person Emerald Lake Winter Wedding we pulled off for about 15k including accommodations for all our guests. It was small enough we got to be creative and build a lot of our own decorations, table settings, arch etc in the months leading up.

It was wonderful, all 20 people there, I genuinely loved and wanted there. There was no people invited that were there just because we felt obligated. I've been to so many weddings that have guests nobody likes except one person, but because they are related in some way shape or form to somebody they get a free pass.

They limited us to 20 people plus us and the officiant and we had to think hard and long about what 20 people we invited. It was such a memorable day, and everybody knew and liked everyone else. I'd recommend to anyone to do it small regardless of what you can afford.

On a serious note, congratulations on your wedding and that you seem to be doing well. You are one of the posters I have missed so good to see you dabbling back in. Cheers.

p.s. That jeep thread was so fun...

[Wormius]

@81MC: Everything about Alberta’s vehicle registration system is archaic and nonsensical. Coming from another province this all seemed redundant and awkward to manage.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Wormius

@81MC: Everything about Alberta’s vehicle registration system is archaic and nonsensical. Coming from another province this all seemed redundant and awkward to manage.

Lol!

I had a new client this year who immigrated from Germany and he was complaining about the same thing.

"Your Government services are inexplicably inefficient and confusing..."

Preach brother.