You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[DoubleF]

Weddings are supposed to just be large parties. Parties are supposed to be fun.


Most weddings, baby showers, gender reveals etc. are no longer parties. They're ####ty instagram/tiktok etc. productions with no production value.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by Weitz

People have a really hard time saying no don’t they?

It's hard to say no.

Your best bud of 20 years is getting married. His bride-to-be wants a grand fairy princess wedding and your bud is feeling all sorts of pressure. Meanwhile, his future MIL is competing with her friends about who can throw the best wedding for their daughters, further putting pressure on your best bed.

You just say #### off and walk away?

[calgarygeologist]

I don't like the idea of weddings and all the work/planning that is associated with it. In my opinion the best way to go is a beach wedding in Mexico or elsewhere in the Caribbean. Easy from a planning perspective and it can truly be a party environment. Only the people that are closest to you generally show up and the cost is usually reasonable.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

I don't like the idea of weddings and all the work/planning that is associated with it. In my opinion the best way to go is a beach wedding in Mexico or elsewhere in the Caribbean. Easy from a planning perspective and it can truly be a party environment. Only the people that are closest to you generally show up and the cost is usually reasonable.

This is the way.

[chedder]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

I don't like the idea of weddings and all the work/planning that is associated with it. In my opinion the best way to go is a beach wedding in Mexico or elsewhere in the Caribbean. Easy from a planning perspective and it can truly be a party environment. Only the people that are closest to you generally show up and the cost is usually reasonable.

The cost is reasonable because you're downloading it all to your guilted friends who are coerced into coming. They pay the inflated all inclusive cost so the bride and groom get a free meal and room.

If you want cheap and small elope or have it in your backyard.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

It's hard to say no.

Your best bud of 20 years is getting married. His bride-to-be wants a grand fairy princess wedding and your bud is feeling all sorts of pressure. Meanwhile, his future MIL is competing with her friends about who can throw the best wedding for their daughters, further putting pressure on your best bed.

You just say #### off and walk away?

I’ve not attended some weddings that I would have loved to go to because of finances. If I can’t afford to drop $1000’s for an event I’ll say no.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

I don't like the idea of weddings and all the work/planning that is associated with it. In my opinion the best way to go is a beach wedding in Mexico or elsewhere in the Caribbean. Easy from a planning perspective and it can truly be a party environment. Only the people that are closest to you generally show up and the cost is usually reasonable.

The couple getting married get upset when you book your trip to the same resort outside the wedding and you save $100’s of dollars though.

[KTrain]

A destination wedding is the most selfish thing you can do for your celebration unless you're paying for all the people you invite to attend.

"BuT ThEy DoN't HaVe To CoMe!".

Instead you're sending them on a guilt trip for choosing finances over friendship. Choosing to use their vacation time how they want instead of your plans. Buying clothes they'll never wear again so everyone in the party can match.

The best weddings I've been to recently involved the couple eloping and throwing a cheap reception for friends and family afterwards.

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

Won’t all your friends be there? Sounds like an expensive summer, but on the plus side lots of partying.

You’re also single and hate dating apps. A wedding where you play a major role is pretty much unrivalled as an opportunity to meet women. And you have three of them.

Oh yeah it's been fun, just expensive and I'm not a very organized person or the event planner type at all so it's just been stressful. Definitely has its perks though.

I love dating apps! It's the old fashioned, initially meeting in-person part (not through tinder) where I suck now haha. 11 year relationship so already rusty from that, then I learned how to use dating apps afterwards, which is great but can be a crutch as you don't necessarily have to re-learn how to meet someone in person anymore. Which kinda sucks when you've lived just off 17th Ave the past year...I need to shake it off!

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

I don't like the idea of weddings and all the work/planning that is associated with it. In my opinion the best way to go is a beach wedding in Mexico or elsewhere in the Caribbean. Easy from a planning perspective and it can truly be a party environment. Only the people that are closest to you generally show up and the cost is usually reasonable.

100%. If I ever get married, this is exactly what I want to do. And will have zero expectations for anyone to come. I hate when people have destination weddings then get mad if someone can't attend, so ridiculous. Half the reason I'd even want to do that is to secretly hope most of em bail so its a small group haha.

That and hearing a rough estimate of the cost of my buddy's wedding is so insane...if we're spending that much to get hitched, we better at least be going somewhere cool to do it.

[DownInFlames]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

I don't like the idea of weddings and all the work/planning that is associated with it. In my opinion the best way to go is a beach wedding in Mexico or elsewhere in the Caribbean. Easy from a planning perspective and it can truly be a party environment. Only the people that are closest to you generally show up and the cost is usually reasonable.

I went to a destination wedding on Grand Cayman as a friend’s +1. I don’t normally like beaches but having a wedding on one was pretty amazing. The couple getting married worked at the resort so we got a deal. It was a trip I would never choose to make otherwise so I’m glad it happened.

[DownInFlames]

I originally came into this thread with a gear grinder but now I forget what it was. That grinds my gears.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by KTrain

A destination wedding is the most selfish thing you can do for your celebration unless you're paying for all the people you invite to attend.

"BuT ThEy DoN't HaVe To CoMe!".

Instead you're sending them on a guilt trip for choosing finances over friendship. Choosing to use their vacation time how they want instead of your plans. Buying clothes they'll never wear again so everyone in the party can match.

The best weddings I've been to recently involved the couple eloping and throwing a cheap reception for friends and family afterwards.

But you literally don’t have to go. Why would you feel a guilt trip? And it’s not a lot different than being invited to a wedding by friends who don’t live in the same city anymore. I am not going to get bent out of shape if I get a wedding invite from a friend in Kelowna just because I live in Calgary now.

Be thankful nobody is asking you to go to Regina or Edmonton.

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by KTrain

A destination wedding is the most selfish thing you can do for your celebration unless you're paying for all the people you invite to attend.

"BuT ThEy DoN't HaVe To CoMe!".

Instead you're sending them on a guilt trip for choosing finances over friendship. Choosing to use their vacation time how they want instead of your plans. Buying clothes they'll never wear again so everyone in the party can match.

The best weddings I've been to recently involved the couple eloping and throwing a cheap reception for friends and family afterwards.

Anyone that gets upset about people not being able to attend either local or destination needs to check their expectations. I'd even go so far as to say that anyone who goes on any sort of guilt trip or power trip over someone else decision is a friend that is worth losing.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by KTrain

A destination wedding is the most selfish thing you can do for your celebration unless you're paying for all the people you invite to attend.

"BuT ThEy DoN't HaVe To CoMe!".

Instead you're sending them on a guilt trip for choosing finances over friendship. Choosing to use their vacation time how they want instead of your plans. Buying clothes they'll never wear again so everyone in the party can match.

The best weddings I've been to recently involved the couple eloping and throwing a cheap reception for friends and family afterwards.

A million percent this. My wife and I got married at 25. We eloped in a hotel room in Chateau Lake Louise. I paid for my friends' hotel room, too, so they were out of pocket exactly $0. Expecting young people to pay a bunch of money and time for your party is absurd and classless imo.

Also did it over a normal weekend instead of a long weekend as I know long weekends are few and far between (as well as precious).

Reception was a barbecue in my aunt and uncle's backyard one evening a couple of months later.

Any other way is fataing lame and rude.

My brother's was the actual worst. Emerald Lake Lodge in between Christmas and New Years. Like, what a ####. Had people travelling from Saskatchewan (that's where all our family is from) in the middle of winter to stay for a couple nights at one of the most expensive destinations in Western Canada at a time of year filled with a hundred other expenses, stresses and familial obligations. It was nucking futs. People went, but there was an underlying - and well deserved - resentment for the whole event dripping from everyone.

Also ridiculous is when the couple decides to throw themselves half a dozen parties in their own honour on the lead up to the event.

Weddings bring out the worst in some people.

[KTrain]

Originally Posted by Wormius

But you literally don’t have to go. Why would you feel a guilt trip? And it’s not a lot different than being invited to a wedding by friends who don’t live in the same city anymore. I am not going to get bent out of shape if I get a wedding invite from a friend in Kelowna just because I live in Calgary now.

Be thankful nobody is asking you to go to Regina or Edmonton.

If you don't have even a little bit of guilt about missing one of your friends/family member's wedding or event, I question if you actually consider them friends at all.

I bailed on a destination wedding to Regina this summer. Love the guy but dropping nearly a grand for 3-4 days in Regina (+14 hours of driving there and back) is not how I want to be spending my free time in the summer.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by KTrain

destination wedding to Regina

Are you sure your friend wasn't trying to discourage attendance?

[you&me]

I ####ing love weddings.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by KTrain

If you don't have even a little bit of guilt about missing one of your friends/family member's wedding or event, I question if you actually consider them friends at all.

I bailed on a destination wedding to Regina this summer. Love the guy but dropping nearly a grand for 3-4 days in Regina (+14 hours of driving there and back) is not how I want to be spending my free time in the summer.

No, I don’t really feel any tremendous feeling of guilt by not going to a wedding. For one thing, the couple are going to be immensely busy, second their families are there and are going to be highest priority for any available face to face with your friend. Why would I feel guilty about not going to an event where my presence or absence would be basically unnoticed. A friend moved out to Edmonton and I see him a lot anyway when he would come back to visit family in Kelowna. I wasn’t going to make a trip out to Edmonton in November for a wedding. I am not a sociopath or anything, but I don’t feel terrible about that and didn’t get any awkward comments the next time I saw him.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by you&me

I ####ing love weddings.

Get him!!