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I’m always amazed these sportscasters and announcers can call the game with McDavid’s **** in their mouths all the time.
a lot of the responses in this thread really begs the question: isnt giving up a seat. for a woman, regardless of age (yes, taking health and mobility out of the question) counter productive to the concept of gender equality?
In all seriousness, I took the extreme position I did in this thread in an attempt to highlight what I feel to be a lack of chivalry in this modern age. I do my best to offer my seat to any woman on the bus, I hold the elevator door open for woman and let them on and off first and open the door and hold it for them.
It's nothing to do with equality or lack thereof... For me, it's just the right thing to do.
Now, I'll stop with the extreme posts in this thread
No you don't do it because of chivalry, you do it because you are fake want to impress girls. Chivalry would be doing it for everyone. A girl I dated used to laugh at guys like you who think you are being such a gentleman everything by throwing down your jacket over a puddle for a women to walk over, but wouldn't even consider holding a door open for a guy who is right beside you... because the action is so fake.
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I'm with the courtesy people. I like it when people hold a door, allow me to merge comfortably, skip to the front of the till when I have one item and the person in front of me has numerous items et al. Thus, I should only deliver what I expect. I expect that the majority of you are taking care of your business and would recognize a chance to help anyone. Just like you should be expecting of me. I have the same expectations for either gender. I don't have prejudice as far as motivation goes when it comes to small bouts of courtesy, yet I will offer help any way I can if the situation arises. My motivations for assistance are pretty rarely motivated by sexual aspirations, except if it's with my GF.
I pretty much take people at face value and allow your character to reveal its self in time or the brief windows of interaction we share. I will hold a door for just about anyone if I notice them proximally. I will offer assistance to a man or woman in the form of advice. I give change, occasionally, to both sexes. I am cool with a male or female prime minster, whomever is better for the job.
I think a lot has to do with how you are feeling individually. Sometimes it can work in inverted ways, whereas I find myself feeling sh!++y but am given the opportunity to be a nice guy and help somehow so I do so hoping the effort is appreciated. When I feel it is, it does kind of boost my spirits.
When I take the bus or train I stand when it's busy since I'm in the tall and large camp. (not fat camp)... I have never been asked for my seat, since I am the type of hyper observant individual that would see this scenario developing and then anticipate something of that nature. If I wanted to read then then it's 'hush that fuss all the able bodied young men to the back of the bus', leave the priority seating. If on the train then I would probably not read since the trips I usually embark upon are quick enough to never get any quality work, research or reading done. Plus, like Jammies I have a car and no longer worry about those things since I now take the train ever so rarely.
I believe in courtesy but like Cecil stated, chivalry is dead.
Here is more bus related keeping it real:
How about this clip from a Bronx Tale where Sonny Tells Cologero about the door test. She's a keeper if she's courteous. Words to keep anyone happy for the rest of their life.
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Last edited by Ziggy Lidstrom; 06-24-2010 at 05:00 AM.
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I'm with the courtesy people. I like it when people hold a door, allow me to merge comfortably, skip to the front of the till when I have one item and the person in front of me has numerous items et al. Thus, I should only deliver what I expect. I expect that the majority of you are taking care of your business and would recognize a chance to help anyone. Just like you should be expecting of me. I have the same expectations for either gender.
I agree 100%. There isn't enough courtesy and politeness in our society and if you want to help someone out, then my hat is off to you. But I don't understand this "be kind to women, be a dick towards men" attitude hidden behind the word "chivalry". I don't think the sex of the other party should come into it. Holding the door for a young woman while ignoring the elderly man seems abhorrent to me. Unless, as you say, the motivation isn't actually out of courtesy, but rather out of a desire to make an impression on the ladies.
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Wow so many knights in white armour in this thread. The way I see it:
- elderly or people who visibly have trouble standing/walking - of course I give up my seat
- a woman who asks politely - of course I give up my seat
- a woman who doesn't ask politely or doesn't ask at all - have a nice ride and hold that pole tight! (unless I'm wearing white armour that day or leaving the bus/train next stop then I'll let her have the seat and I feel so good about myself)
Which is why giving up your seat to a women on a train could be considered "marginlizing her rights" when in reality it's the right and courteous thing to do.
That's why I usually give up my seat if there's a lady nearby, but I don't say anything. That way I can be a gentleman without "marginalizing her rights" (or, in the case of older men, hurting their pride) and without making her think that I'm trying to impress her. Nine times out of ten, it works perfectly. The other 10% of the time, a young guy quickly takes the seat and I lose my mind.
I'm a woman, in my 50's and I prefer to stand. Coming back from the Dome one night, and we were all jammed together, a young man (20's and yes, very drunk) told me he loved me! Made my day
I do wonder if the woman would have asked a younger female for a seat if no men had been in her immediate area?
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People who are not fit to stand should get priority seating, age or sex has nothing to do with it. Being 50 and being a woman should not earn you priority seating over anyone by themselves.
I want to hear some opinions on something that happened to me this morning, specifically from others who are forced to ride the c-train daily. Normally if I realized that someone is struggling, be it for disability or old age, I would give up my seat for them without question. I understand that some people have a more difficult time standing than a 24yr old male who is in decent shape. Here is the situation that occurred this morning:
I get on at crowfoot which provides me the benefit of normally getting a seat as it is the first stop. I often skip a train that is full and wait the extra 5 - 10 minutes so I can get a seat for the ride in. This morning I was reading on my iPad, not paying attention to much (its 7am and I am half asleep) when a 50ish lady bluntly asks me "can I have your seat". I of course gave it to her partly out of chivalry but also partly because of how public her request was. It was obvious she asked me in a way that no one would turn her down.
The more I thought about it the more it kind of pissed me off. She was by no means in a position where standing would have been uncomfortable. The only reason my ungodly 1hr commute is bearable is that in the mornings I can sit with my coffee and read. Do I owe it to someone, who has the ability to stand, to give up my seat simply because she is a woman and is older than me? Honestly if that were the case every day I would look at another form of transportation. Should I feel bad for sitting every time an oldish age female boards the train and has to stand? Honest question...
Late to the fray but . . . .
As a younger man on a crowded train, you should definitely offer your seat in that situation. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
However, she should not be asking unless she's obviously infirm. It was rude of her to do so unless she had an obvious peg leg.
Social mores like this separate us from the terrorists.
Cowperson
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I was asked a couple months ago to give up a seat on the Skytrain to some lady who yammered about 'preferential seating for mothers' or whatever. She had a six or seven year old with her. Didn't seem to be anything wrong with them. I thought the mom was being rude but I stood up anyways. She lets the kid sit down, they get up not even two minutes later to get off at the next station.
I said to her on her way out, you have GOT to be f-ing kidding me.
I also think that for the sake of safety an average able bodied male can stabalize his weight standing using his arm strength than the average female if the train/bus came to a sudden stop.
For the few times I take transit I always just stand up when I don't see an empty seat I dont single out the woman I gave up my seat for. I have given the guy a nudge that does take it over a woman though.
When I was 20 I started driving city bus in Calgary, did it for 5 years but that was 25 yr's ago.
The idea of a healthy 24 yr old not giving a 50 yr old woman his seat was unimaginable when I drove.
On occasion, but very rarely I would have to "suggest" that someone give up their seat or the bus wouldn't move. Safety first.
Surprisingly back then, the least likely to give up their seats were the mid 30's men in business suits, briefcase between their feet reading the paper "pretending" not to notice a far less agile person standing before them.
I think it had more to do with the competitive nature of the men.
The ladies do appreciate a man that shows respect towards other people, not just the older ladies, the young healthy ones too Ahh those were the days...
As a younger man on a crowded train, you should definitely offer your seat in that situation. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
However, she should not be asking unless she's obviously infirm. It was rude of her to do so unless she had an obvious peg leg.
Social mores like this separate us from the terrorists.
Cowperson
Pretty much my feelings on it. I've given up my seat quite a few times, usually to an elderly person, pregnant lady, people juggling a crapload of stuff, etc. But the fact she demanded you move would bug me if that was me. Obviously you had to in that sitchy, but it was a dick move on her part.
A related issue for me is airport baggage carousels. I travel a lot for business and if it is a long enough trip I check a bag. It shocks me to see how many guys will stand idly by while a lady will struggle to get her bag off the carousel. I will always help a lady get her heavy suitcase if I notice her struggling or even if she just looks tired. I actually arrived back in Calgary a couple of weeks ago and watched a lady struggle to get 3 pieces of luggage off the carousel while her husband watched and held the baggage cart. I walked over and grabbed the last one for her and set it in the cart all the while looking straight at the husband. He had just been playfully throwing their child in the air so I don't think it was a case of him being injured. The worst part about it is I don't think it even phased him. I see it far too often.
I dont know...maybe chivalry is dead but what about a little common decency?
Location: Close enough to make a beer run during a TV timeout
Exp:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportsJunky
A related issue for me is airport baggage carousels.....
Well that is something very different. As for your example of the husband not helping the wife, I can't be the only guy who has told his significant other as she packs the biggest suitcase in the house "Honey- take what you want, but you have to carry it."
My first trip with my fiancee she packed the biggest suitcase we had for a 5 day trip; and I carried it while she carried my packpack- sized bag. Next trip she brought out the big suitcase again, and I told her she had to carry it. Of course I ended up carrying it again. However for our next trip she figured out that maybe she didn't need that many shoes.
Going back to Transit; as others have said it's all in how you pick your seat. If you want to sit, go to the back of the bus or the middle of the train. Otherwise you may be asked to give yours up.
Going back to Transit; as others have said it's all in how you pick your seat. If you want to sit, go to the back of the bus or the middle of the train. Otherwise you may be asked to give yours up.
Yeah, I agree. I never sit in the 'priority seating' on the train if I can avoid it. And if I ever do sit there I end up spending the entire trip watching the door to see who is getting on and thinking about whether I should get up or not.
