I personally don't think the introvert/extrovert thing matters as much as people say it does. There's some cases where it's advantageous to be an extrovert (sales), and others where a career path attracts and is suitable for introverts (accountants). What holds you back, from my experience, isn't the extrovert/introvert thing, but your attitude and ability. A bad attitude about things will certainly damage your career, and it can be reflected anywhere while at the office, including when it comes to social events. Not wanting to go to a work event is one thing and is acceptable, but showing disdain is what'll get people thinking the wrong things about you.
Pretty much. If you don't like work events and don't want to go, then don't go. Learn to deal with the nosy questions because that is part of life, doesn't matter if it is a work event, or why you don't drink, or why you're single etc.
What you definitely don't do is say yes to an expensive and difficult to organize work event because you feel you have to, then back out anyway.
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Being abusively extroverted is great and all so long as said person can actually handle all the details of the task at hand, which usually they cannot. Which is why being cerebral is so important regardless of being an introvert or extrovert (for the record, I can be both, in a weird bi-polar kind of way). In this case, tendering my resignation based simply on "this is not fun anymore" had my extroverted boss on the phone within 24 hours offering to double my pay along with a whole host of concessions I had been asking for for months.
What is more important than being introverted or extroverted, is being important. If you're the brains of something, then chances are that extroverted ####### jerk in reality actually NEEDS you, although they would be loathe to admit it publicly. And so long as you're comfortable in your knowledge of this, you can Dale Carnegie them into pretty much anything.
Or you can be worth a lot to a company, perform vital tasks in the everyday processes, pick up tasks as holes become apparent, get absolutely no credit, ask for more support and pay, get disregarded as a useless peon, quit and then the place falls into utter chaos. Only then do they realize how much you were worth to the company but can't bring you back as they spazzed out when you quit.
That must have happened to someone else besides me.
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Sorry, not much to add but after reading this thread I can be very thankful that I don't work in an office and/or need to rely on "team building" to further my career and income.
Just that phrase alone...."team building" makes my skin crawl. In my limited experience, that's been nothing but phoney, gob knobbling, BS that only rewarded lap dog employees who weren't deserving of anything more than an ass kicking anyway.
Different strokes for different folks. Do what you gotta do, but do what lets you sleep comfortably at night and feels good when you're paid, knowing you've done the best you can do at what you do.
Haha I'm the same. Evey time I hear "team" when the topic is work I want to slap that person. The only people that talk about "team" in the workplace are the higher-ups and the butt kissers.
Everyone thinks they're a rock star and underappreciated by their company. The thing I learned a long time ago is that no individual person is irreplaceable in a company. A lot of people have this attitude of "oh, just wait until I quit. They'll be screwed without me". News flash. The company was there before you, it will be there after you're gone.
I've done performance reviews where the employee thought they were awesome, pointed out some stuff they should work on, and have them get all defensive.
Last edited by The Yen Man; 08-29-2014 at 07:06 AM.
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If I were your boss, I'd probably fire you the day of the event, nothing promotes the team building in team building events than getting rid of non team players.
If I were your boss, I'd probably fire you the day of the event, nothing promotes the team building in team building events than getting rid of non team players.
Another problem with corporate events - alcohol is like truth serum for some people, and things that should be unsaid can't be taken back.
I never understand people who get hammered at corporate events. I have one to two drinks MAX just to be polite (most of the time they're paid for). I refuse to get drunk around my co-workers.
Everyone thinks they're a rock star and underappreciated by their company. The thing I learned a long time ago is that no individual person is irreplaceable in a company. A lot of people have this attitude of "oh, just wait until I quit. They'll be screwed without me". News flash. The company was there before you, it will be there after you're gone.
I've done performance reviews where the employee thought they were awesome, pointed out some stuff they should work on, and have them get all defensive.
The best is when they quit/get fired and you feel so relieved. I had one employee like that apologize for quitting because she knew we'd be screwed without her. When I said simply "don't feel bad, we'll be okay" she got quite upset. My whole team morale got better without her constantly trying to point out problems and how only she could solve them.
Literally every employee I've had that felt that way, improved my business when they left
In fact you know what the hard sell leads to in the real world? A lot of consumers buying things to pacify someone and later returning those items. Or committing to something only to not want to follow through because they felt pressured. I know its not every time. But there is a fine line between assertion and aggression.
Very, very true. I have a friend I met at a course, Dale Carnegie Skills for Success. He started telling me about his business (which is actually just World Financial Group) and just to be open-minded and for the sake of friendship I humored him, went to one of their meetings, opened up an RRSP through him. Holy **** do I regret that. Finally meeting up with him today at lunch to cancel some things, but it wasn't easy.
One of the biggest lessons that Dale Carnegie can teach you, is "A person convinced against their will, is of the same opinion still." He just doesn't get that.
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Originally Posted by JobHopper
The thing is, my posts, thoughts and insights may be my opinions but they're also quite factual.
Articling at a big law firm can be a real nightmare around social events.
The students are required to perform skits lampooning the partners in front of the whole office. I had to play one partner in drag (not so bad actually).
We had to organize the big summer bbq at the senior partner's mansion.
We were "encouraged" to join the politcial party that the partners supported.
That was the worst. It was nearly impossible to find that very fine line between not being funny and not offending any of the people who have control over your career.
If you're not really into golf or the whole event at all, why not just take one for the team and go but don't golf.....is that an option? Either accompany a team while golfing or stick around the clubhouse and socialize with your coworkers. Surely there are a few people in the same boat as you (who don't golf)
In my company we have branches across Western Canada. a few times a year the project managers and senior management get together for meetings. It is out of town for most of us so everyone is usually in a hotel.
After the meetings they often schedule a casual evening event or everyone breaks off into smaller groups and heads to the pub. There a few individuals who always head back to their room and either skip the event or just show up to eat and leave.
In our work we often share resources between branches as well as clients who work in different areas.
I can say for a certainty that most people are more willing to introduce their client to someone they have an existing relationship with. The guys who don't socialize are going to be at a disadvantage for both new clients and resources.
If someone I have spent a bunch of time getting to know calls me on a Saturday and asks me to go into the office to line up a crew for him to borrow or find an old plan I am usually happy to help. The guy I have only seen sitting in the back at meetings will not have that same pull.
I often have to call in favours as well to get a last minute crew driving across the province to help cover an emergency with a client. If I can't lean on other branches to get that done I will look bad to my client and it could affect my future workload.
In the end you need teamwork and cooperation to succeed and that happens a lot easier if there is an relationship that isn't purely professional.
Someone who is introverted and avoids socializing will have a harder time getting ahead if they don't find their own way to build relationships. I am certain it can be done, but you might have to put in some extra work to make it happen.
