Bullying in schools, what can be done?

[JustAnotherGuy]

It is interesting that most people here are not offering a solution to actually stop the bully.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by photon

Tell the six year old kid who collapsed and died of terror to stand up to the pack of bullies.

If it got to the point that a six year old would drop and die from terror at the scene of the incident then the parents of the victim, agressors, and even the faculty of the school should be charged with criminal negligence causing death. I'm serious. What a complete and unacceptable failure of the school system.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by JustAnotherGuy

It is interesting that most people here are not offering a solution to actually stop the bully.

I think the overall answer is give your kid permission to beat the snot out of the other kid, and even teach him a few moves to help. Impart on them the understanding that they may get beat up, but honor and pride and not taking smack from losers is what growing up is all about.

[photon]

Originally Posted by JustAnotherGuy

It is interesting that most people here are not offering a solution to actually stop the bully.

Including yourself? I sure don't know what the right solution is.

If it was an easy solution there wouldn't be a thread about it.

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

If it got to the point that a six year old would drop and die from terror at the scene of the incident then the parents of the victim, agressors, and even the faculty of the school should be charged with criminal negligence causing death. I'm serious. What a complete and unacceptable failure of the school system.

I totally agree.

That six year old kid is a real event too.

I can't tell what would happen if that happened to me and my kid...

If my kid was being bullied and we'd tried all kinds of things, I could easily see myself camping the school doors every morning and basically denying the bully entry to the school. Come arrest me.

[Igottago]

One side of the story I never hear about is the parents of the bully. Do they care that their son/daughter is tormenting some other kid? Do they step in and discipline their child? Do they just ignore it and pretend their kid isn't capable of it? I think a lot of parents get defensive when their kids are accused of doing something wrong.

Perhaps the parent of the bully should be bullied into being a better parent.

I know if I had a kid who was the bully, I would whip his ass and teach him about having some respect for the vulnerable, not taking advantage of them. I have a sneaking suspicion that sometimes the parents of bully's endorse their behaviour.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by photon

I totally agree.

That six year old kid is a real event too.

I can't tell what would happen if that happened to me and my kid...

If my kid was being bullied and we'd tried all kinds of things, I could easily see myself camping the school doors every morning and basically denying the bully entry to the school. Come arrest me.

It happened? I thought you were speaking in hyperbole. Holy crap...

Was there legal action of any kind? Link to the story?

[gargamel]

Originally Posted by Igottago

I have a sneaking suspicion that sometimes the parents of bully's endorse their behaviour.

I know that they do in some cases. Anyone with a "My son beat up your honor student" bumper sticker should have their kids taken away immediately.

[HOOT]

Originally Posted by JustAnotherGuy

It is interesting that most people here are not offering a solution to actually stop the bully.

I say we just go with your solution....oh wait you didn't offer one up.

[photon]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

It happened? I thought you were speaking in hyperbole. Holy crap...

Was there legal action of any kind? Link to the story?

I'm trying to find it, I remember reading about it a few years ago somewhere when I was reading about bullying.

Not hard to find stories about kids being killed by bullies, kids killing bullies, or kids killing themselves because of bullying.

Kids aren't all ready to deal with things that some adults can't deal with, they need a chance to be able to develop.

[IliketoPuck]

The solution in my mind is sit your kid down and tell him how the world works.

You're getting bullied? Ok. Are you sick of it? Yes. Is he bigger than you? Yes.

Heres what you're gonnn do:

1. Stand up for yourself
2. Pick a fight with him
3. Kick him in the sack
4. Knee to the face
5. Punch to the face
6. Get suspended and get a high five from pops for getting it done and sticking up for yourself.

[Traditional_Ale]

^ Worst thing is that bullies come from all types of backgrounds and parents too.

Dad is a pushover, kid "wont ever be like Dad."

Dad is an agressive alpha, kid "is gonna be just like Dad."

Dad is a psycho, kid "is venting."

Dad is perfectly adjusted in a happy home and marriage, kid "hates bs cookie cutter lame tv wannabe life."

Dad is a huge success or famous, kid "can't compete and wants to stamp out their own identity."

[Day Tripper]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I think a lot of times it's best to do nothing. Sometimes it can go too far, though. Some kids are just passive by nature and will never stand up for themselves. If they are getting depressed/suicidal, it's obvious they need help.

Not to mention that sometimes there could be a few or more kids all going after one...in that case the one doesn't stand a chance unless he's fataing Jackie Chan.

[JustAnotherGuy]

Originally Posted by fotze

Or what you would do if your kid was the bully.

If my kid was a bully I would be taking away privileges until he got the point. I would review what I could do to help him understand that it is not acceptable behavoir. I would then keep on him until he got the point. If he continued I would seek counselling for him. If it continued I would send him to a more structured environment. Essentially I would do it all until it stopped.

I know people like to continually ask.. then what.. then what.. then what.. My point is I would do everything I could.

[JustAnotherGuy]

Originally Posted by photon

Including yourself? I sure don't know what the right solution is.

If it was an easy solution there wouldn't be a thread about it.
..............

Yes, including myself. I do include myself in the list of most people.

How can I phrase a comment better so that people understand that I include myself as most people. I guess I just answered my own question.

[JustAnotherGuy]

Originally Posted by HOOT

I say we just go with your solution....oh wait you didn't offer one up.

SIGH.. how do I get my point across? HOW HOW HOW... I get so frustrated about people on chat boards who immediately get defensive and then have to insult me. It was not directed at anybody. It was a comment about the conversation.

I was not sitting on my high horse and saying I had the solution. I was contributing to the conversation and asking a question about the other side of the equation.

[mikey_the_redneck]

Originally Posted by photon

Everyone is capable of courage, but not everyone is capable of the same level of courage. And it can be taught, so what of the kids who aren't taught? Maybe their parents never were taught. Let them kill themselves then?

Heck, why do we have laws? All we need is courage to stand up to people who break the law and assault and kill other people. Let everyone just fight it out, welcome to the jungle, no need for anything other than might makes right.

Bringing the legal system into it doesn't support your point as it helps the criminals as much as the victims these days....

Frankly, if your kid is completely unable to deal with adversity then they should be home schooled....

I remember we had something called "health class" where topics on self esteem and emotions etc. were briefly studied. Do they even go over it nowadays? I don't know....but these issues are becoming more and more important since the parents of this world are too damn busy to bother....

You know....they could actually teach things like self-esteem, confidence, courage IN class at a younger age....crazy I know.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Igottago

I know if I had a kid who was the bully, I would whip his ass and teach him about having some respect for the vulnerable

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by HOOT

Kids being kids. In Victoria they take it too far IMO. My little brothers friend got suspended for a week for writing on a girls facebook page that she was an idiot in regards to something she posted. A week for saying "you're an idiot"....wow!

I found in school they would pick on people for any reason. Heck, even my best friend and I would get harassed because we drove the two nicest vehicles in school. Somehow they tried to make us feel bad because I had more than them, but that's just how kids are. I guess it was my problem they were poor.

3- series or G35?

[HOOT]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

3- series or G35?

Neither it was a custom lowrider. Paint job on it alone was worth $8K.

[WilsonFourTwo]

Originally Posted by JustAnotherGuy

It is interesting that most people here are not offering a solution to actually stop the bully.

I think a number of us have made the point.....stand up to the bully. And I can appreciate that a 5ft 100lb kid going up against a 5'10 150lb bully can be daunting, but I'll share another secret.......it doesn't have to be a fair fight. In my mind, there's no honor in the problem (bullying) so the resolution doesn't need to be fair.

My parental advice.....nurture your child's self-esteem and confidence. A person (child or adult) who has a quality self image is (in my opinion) unlikely to be bothered by the comments of an a-hole, and will be willing to protect themselves if called for.

And your kid really, honestly, truly is incapable of sticking up for themselves - call the cops. Not the teachers, not the principal, not the guidance counselor.....the cops. It sucks if it has to come down to that, but the police are better suited to deal with the little delinquents than teachers.