Destination Weddings - Page 6 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

troutman · 11-12-2015, 11:38 AM

Have your destination wedding - also hold a modest reception back home. Give people the choice in attending either event.

kevman · 11-12-2015, 01:04 PM

I've never been to a destination wedding but have my first one queued up next week. I used to be fundamentally opposed to the concept and wasn't that thrilled when this one first came up. Now that I'm a few days away from a week of partying with a bunch of friends scattered across North America that I don't see very often I'm pretty damn stoked.

There are pros and cons to everything really.

GirlySports · 11-12-2015, 01:12 PM

It's cool if you can afford to go and/or you were planning a vacation anyways.

But if you really don't have the money to go and the couple treats it as a rejection that's tough.

fundmark19 · 11-12-2015, 01:24 PM

I am going to a destination wedding on Saturday my second of the year. Sure it sucks financially but I am looking forward to the good times as they are always great!

Nobama · 11-12-2015, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

I still can't get over the assumption that everyone can afford to fly to beach vacations on a whim. My friends and I all got married at 26-30, and none of us had enough money to go to Mexico or the Dominican. Not for a wedding, not for a vacation of our own. Back in the 90s, few twenty-somethings in Calgary had the money to splash around on things like that. And by the time we were into our 30s and had decent jobs, we had kids.

It's your wedding. You (and your parents) pay. If you can't afford a big wedding, have a small one. If you can't afford the Rimrock in Canmore, rent a community hall in Calgary. If you can't afford high-end catering, get cheap catering. If you can't afford catering, do a potluck. Weddings are as cheap or expensive as you want them to be.

If you can't afford to go then simple - you don't go. Again why is someones wedding about the guests? I don't get it.

Nobama · 11-12-2015, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruttiger

Wow - anyone who can't afford to go to a destination wedding is a freeloader? If you can't go you obviously don't care about the couple getting married?

You sound like a former friend of mine - he had a wedding planned for Italy to which we were invited, told him we couldn't swing it. They eventually scaled plans back and did it in Vancouver instead. This time we weren't invited. Later told me after the fact he would have asked me to be the best man for the Italian version of the wedding. Seemed like an odd leap to go from potential best man to not on the invite list whatsoever.

Sometimes weddings reveal true colours, though I suspect he'd say the same about me.

Your friend sounds like a real d bag.

If you have a destination wedding you need to be prepared to understand that a small percentage of who would normally come to a local wedding are not able to travel. Its just a fact. Anyone that you want to come and can't afford to go (example grandma) you need to be prepared to pay for. I had a destination wedding and even though most people think they are cheap, when you need to pay for family, special booze etc, it can get expensive. Also we looked for deals, I think our guests paid less than $800 for flight and all inclusive each. A lot of friends came because it was a good deal and they couldn't do a beach vacation for less. No one regretted it and we still talk about it years later. I don't have any hard feelings for people that didn't want to or couldn't afford to go.

DuffMan · 11-12-2015, 02:52 PM

Girl at work just told me last week that her nephews destination wedding in Mexico, next week was called off.
Sounds like her and about 10 family members are still going, but everyone else is out their deposits, probably screwed up their holidays etc.
Personally, if someone invites me to a destination wedding, I think they don't really want people to come to it, so I've never been to one.

Locke · 11-12-2015, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuffMan

Girl at work just told me last week that her nephews destination wedding in Mexico, next week was called off.
Sounds like her and about 10 family members are still going, but everyone else is out their deposits, probably screwed up their holidays etc.
Personally, if someone invites me to a destination wedding, I think they don't really want people to come to it, so I've never been to one.

Honestly, if I want to go on a nice vacation I dont really want to go with a whole bunch of strangers and be tied up with obligations. I'd like to go with my wife and family and do whatever I want.

Nyah · 11-12-2015, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shermanator

My sister is getting married in the summer. She and her fiancée can't afford to get married where they really want to (in town or in the mountains). So, they've decided to get married in Mexico at an all-inclusive, passing the costs on to us.

My brother & sister in law were in the same boat a few years ago. They were planning an expensive wedding in Cancun because they said they couldn't afford a nice in Banff or Canmore...they were doing the whole wedding planner experience, where the family & friends would have to sign on to stay at a specific resort in specific rooms in order for the bride & groom to get a good deal...we would basically be paying for their wedding & vacation. It wouldn't be completely free for them, but they'd be paying a LOT less than us.

They ended up getting married in my parents backyard (it was a beautiful wedding) instead because hardly anyone signed on. Since then, I've made it pretty clear to all my siblings, cousins & friends that if they decide to do a destination wedding, that I'm not going regardless of whether or not I can afford it. It may sound selfish, but travel is a huge part of my life...I try to go to a new place every year. It's what I work & save for. To book a week of vacation time and spend my entire years travel fund (their Cancun wedding was going to be around $2000 each) to go to an all-inclusive resort and watch someone else get married is something I'm just not willing to do, for anyone. You're a better person than I

kevman · 11-12-2015, 03:31 PM

What about gifts? I reckon my attendance is a gift right? Cause a gift was definitely not in the budget...

Speaking of budget, they're expensive but they're not really that expensive. I'd probably spend half of the money on food, beer and entertainment if I stayed home so it's not like it's crazy expensive.

Maybe if the bride and groom lived in Calgary I'd feel differently. Either way I was going to have to travel to go to their wedding so this feels comparatively cheaper and easier.

Tyler · 11-12-2015, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyah

My brother & sister in law were in the same boat a few years ago. They were planning an expensive wedding in Cancun because they said they couldn't afford a nice in Banff or Canmore...they were doing the whole wedding planner experience, where the family & friends would have to sign on to stay at a specific resort in specific rooms in order for the bride & groom to get a good deal...we would basically be paying for their wedding & vacation. It wouldn't be completely free for them, but they'd be paying a LOT less than us.

They ended up getting married in my parents backyard (it was a beautiful wedding) instead because hardly anyone signed on. Since then, I've made it pretty clear to all my siblings, cousins & friends that if they decide to do a destination wedding, that I'm not going regardless of whether or not I can afford it. It may sound selfish, but travel is a huge part of my life...I try to go to a new place every year. It's what I work & save for. To book a week of vacation time and spend my entire years travel fund (their Cancun wedding was going to be around $2000 each) to go to an all-inclusive resort and watch someone else get married is something I'm just not willing to do, for anyone. You're a better person than I

Case in point. Destination weddings thankfully weed out friends/family members like you

Locke · 11-12-2015, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler

Case in point. Destination weddings thankfully weed out friends/family members like you

Really? I think hes bang on.

If you schedule a destination wedding you have to assume that the majority of people cant/wont attend.

The average wedding is probably 100 people, how many is the average destination wedding? Almost certainly fewer.

Hell, last year I went to Mexico with my wife and some random couple had a 'destination wedding' at our resort and nobody but their parents showed up. So the resort staff rounded up a bunch of random people from the resort to fill the tables for the photos.

So theres a photo of drunk me on a beach in Mexico commemorating the loving union of some random people from Columbus forever.

But hey, we each got 2 bottles of wine out of the deal.

Weitz · 11-12-2015, 04:01 PM

Damn those people planning their wedding for how they want it! Why can't they think of everyone else who might attend!

Looch City · 11-12-2015, 04:10 PM

Why is everyone looking for different ways to be offended?

If I can't make your destination wedding for whatever reason (money/time-off/not interested), no biggie we're still friends. Hope you have a great time and I'll congratulate you when you're back.

All this about "weeding out false friends/family" is quite immature in my opinion.

GGG · 11-12-2015, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iggy City

Why is everyone looking for different ways to be offended?

If I can't make your destination wedding for whatever reason (money/time-off/not interested), no biggie we're still friends. Hope you have a great time and I'll congratulate you when you're back.

All this about "weeding out false friends/family" is quite immature in my opinion.

The above is right but people get all emotional because it's a wedding.

If you have a destination wedding and someone chooses not to come you don't get to judge or get upset at anyone you invite not coming.

If you are invited to a destination wedding you have no right to judge or get upset at the person if you can't go and you shouldn't feel any obligation to go.

CliffFletcher · 11-12-2015, 04:53 PM

A wedding can be:

A) The social acknowledgement of a union, attended and recognized by all family and friends who are important to the couple, with mutual obligations both ways.

B) A party for the couple and any family and friends who want to join them on a vacation together, with no obligations either way.

Pick one.

fundmark19 · 11-12-2015, 08:28 PM

Two of my life long best friends weren't able to make it to my wedding in Vegas. I didn't hold it against them. We are still great friends to this day. I am the best man at his wedding next year. I didn't disown him as a friend because he couldn't make it and he didn't hold a grudge that I was forcing him to come to my wedding. We are all grown adults it's not overly difficult to act like one when someone invites you to a destination wedding.

Nobama · 11-12-2015, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuffMan

Personally, if someone invites me to a destination wedding, I think they don't really want people to come to it, so I've never been to one.

In your case this could be true...

DuffMan · 11-13-2015, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobama

In your case this could be true...

Did they bring your ranch, on the side?

habernac · 11-13-2015, 08:30 AM

I've only been to one destination wedding - it was in Rio de Janeiro. Had a great time. It didn't really fit my budget at the time, but I always wanted to go there so I did. I've turned down more than a few others and remain friendly with all involved.