Destination Weddings

[shermanator]

Bumping this thread for a 3:45 am vent session since I'm up thinking about it.

My sister is getting married in the summer. She and her fiancée can't afford to get married where they really want to (in town or in the mountains). So, they've decided to get married in Mexico at an all-inclusive, passing the costs on to us. We're going either way, because #### it it's not my wedding I don't call the shots here. It'll be a fun vacation I'm sure, but a little frustrated as it takes up spare savings that we would have used to fix up things around the house. My wife is livid about it as we just finished spending a large sum of money and a lot of time in planning to have our own wedding in Calgary so that family and friends could all be there, and she thinks it's a cop out.

We have another destination wedding the year after in Mexico for my wife's best friend, but the bride is Guatemalan and chose that option so that much of her side of the family could be there. Different scenario and one that I am much more accepting of.

BAH! /firstworldproblems

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by shermanator

She and her fiancée can't afford to get married where they really want to (in town or in the mountains). So, they've decided to get married in Mexico at an all-inclusive, passing the costs on to us.

It's cheaper to get married at an all-inclusive instead of somewhere in Calgary or Banff?

Also, if you "can't afford" the wedding you want...you want too much out of a wedding.

[Fuzz]

Absolutely cheaper. Get enough guests and some hotels do the wedding for free. You can do it for under $5000(including bride and groom all inclusive costs), good luck doing that in Banff, Canmore or Calgary.

[wooohooo]

Yeah just got married recently this summer. Our wedding while very basic still cost us around $18000 for ~200 people. Doing a destination wedding would have been so much cheaper. But what would cost us only a few thousand or even less (pretty much just flight), everyone would be shellding out a few thousand. We both decided to postpone a bit and save a little more.

And I can't see 1/4 of what I'm typing because of this dumb google ad/clearly contact ad that is all the way down and I can' get rid of it.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

Absolutely cheaper. Get enough guests and some hotels do the wedding for free. You can do it for under $5000(including bride and groom all inclusive costs), good luck doing that in Banff, Canmore or Calgary.

I guess it really is what you are looking for in a wedding. My wife and I's local wedding came to just under $5000, and 20% of that was her custom dress (our big splurge). Also only had around 75 guests, though.

[GirlySports]

it would depend on your age too right? 30 somethings getting invited to a destination wedding would be more suitable?

I know kids who just got out of school have just gotten a job, or have no jobs and force their friends who also have no jobs to shell out $2200 to attend.

[Nobama]

Two results of destination weddings

1) You go, you have an amazing time. You hope you get invited to another destination wedding because it was worth every penny.

2) You don't go. You hear about the fun time everyone had. You regret not going - forever if it was a family member.

The great thing about destination weddings is that it eliminates all the free loaders that would have come to your wedding because of free food and free drink. The people that go to a destination wedding actually care about the bride and groom and they are rewarded with a great time in a great place that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by WhiteTiger

I guess it really is what you are looking for in a wedding. My wife and I's local wedding came to just under $5000, and 20% of that was her custom dress (our big splurge). Also only had around 75 guests, though.

Good job, I have no idea how you would even cater 75 people for $5000 around here.
We did a Mexico wedding, then had a backyard BBQ for everyone when we got back, as we were young and only close family could afford the trip. Nobody cared that they couldn't come, and we got a hassle free wedding. I hated the thought of doing something with 150 people.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

Good job, I have no idea how you would even cater 75 people for $5000 around here.

When we were looking, I was able to find catering for $25 per person. So that's only $1875 of the $4000 he spent. Add in a twoonie bar, and you could get it done for $4000 if you have good friends willing to help.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by Nobama

The great thing about destination weddings is that it eliminates all the free loaders that would have come to your wedding because of free food and free drink. The people that go to a destination wedding actually care about the bride and groom and they are rewarded with a great time in a great place that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

I still can't get over the assumption that everyone can afford to fly to beach vacations on a whim. My friends and I all got married at 26-30, and none of us had enough money to go to Mexico or the Dominican. Not for a wedding, not for a vacation of our own. Back in the 90s, few twenty-somethings in Calgary had the money to splash around on things like that. And by the time we were into our 30s and had decent jobs, we had kids.

It's your wedding. You (and your parents) pay. If you can't afford a big wedding, have a small one. If you can't afford the Rimrock in Canmore, rent a community hall in Calgary. If you can't afford high-end catering, get cheap catering. If you can't afford catering, do a potluck. Weddings are as cheap or expensive as you want them to be.

[Otto-matic]

I'd probably lean more to a destination wedding when the time comes. I can see both sides of the argument though - it is a commitment to go but I went on one recently and it was fantastic.

The bride and groom gave us literally a year to get all our funds together which helped.

[Zarley]

Originally Posted by Nobama

Two results of destination weddings

1) You go, you have an amazing time. You hope you get invited to another destination wedding because it was worth every penny.

2) You don't go. You hear about the fun time everyone had. You regret not going - forever if it was a family member.

The great thing about destination weddings is that it eliminates all the free loaders that would have come to your wedding because of free food and free drink. The people that go to a destination wedding actually care about the bride and groom and they are rewarded with a great time in a great place that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

3) You don't go. Instead of spending a week amongst the fat walruses gorging themselves at the all you can eat buffet at some packaged all inclusive, you spend your vacation time and disposable income going somewhere you actually want to. You remember this great decision for the rest of your life.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by ken0042

When we were looking, I was able to find catering for $25 per person. So that's only $1875 of the $4000 he spent. Add in a twoonie bar, and you could get it done for $4000 if you have good friends willing to help.

Yep. We used the Big Rock Brewery for the Reception. So they took care of the food and the drinks. Food was a set price per plate, and drinks were at a reduced rate (though I don't think it was $2, maybe it was closer to $4), with a roll of tickets for the bride and myself to hand out for freebies (we made sure everyone of drinking age got at least one ticket). The DJ wasn't too expensive (~$500, iirc) either.

The venue was Confederation Park, of which you can rent slices of for 6 hours for $30 (yes, really). We rented chairs ($2/per, iirc) which included set up and tear down.

It suited both of us very well, and we quite enjoyed it. Not the sort of wedding that is 'for everyone' though, I imagine.

[Ruttiger]

Originally Posted by Nobama

Two results of destination weddings

1) You go, you have an amazing time. You hope you get invited to another destination wedding because it was worth every penny.

2) You don't go. You hear about the fun time everyone had. You regret not going - forever if it was a family member.

The great thing about destination weddings is that it eliminates all the free loaders that would have come to your wedding because of free food and free drink. The people that go to a destination wedding actually care about the bride and groom and they are rewarded with a great time in a great place that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

Wow - anyone who can't afford to go to a destination wedding is a freeloader? If you can't go you obviously don't care about the couple getting married?

You sound like a former friend of mine - he had a wedding planned for Italy to which we were invited, told him we couldn't swing it. They eventually scaled plans back and did it in Vancouver instead. This time we weren't invited. Later told me after the fact he would have asked me to be the best man for the Italian version of the wedding. Seemed like an odd leap to go from potential best man to not on the invite list whatsoever.

Sometimes weddings reveal true colours, though I suspect he'd say the same about me.

[Major Major]

Originally Posted by Nobama

Two results of destination weddings

1) You go, you have an amazing time. You hope you get invited to another destination wedding because it was worth every penny.

2) You don't go. You hear about the fun time everyone had. You regret not going - forever if it was a family member.

The great thing about destination weddings is that it eliminates all the free loaders that would have come to your wedding because of free food and free drink. The people that go to a destination wedding actually care about the bride and groom and they are rewarded with a great time in a great place that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

ya, this is BS. I have turned down going to a half dozen of these things while laughing. Resorts are not my idea of a good time and I don't really respect the notion. Also, most who I talked to that did go to these weddings said they wish they hadn't. I'll continue to decline... just glad the ones I love the most have better taste.

[Weitz]

I have a friend who got married in Kelowna. Well all in cost of the weekend was almost $900. For 3 nights in kelowna.

I would have been way more happy spending an extra $400 - $1000 to go to Mexico or anywhere for a week.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Weitz

I have a friend who got married in Kelowna. Well all in cost of the weekend was almost $900. For 3 nights in kelowna.

I would have been way more happy spending an extra $400 - $1000 to go to Mexico or anywhere for a week.

But not Edmonton.

[Neeper]

Personally, I love destinations weddings and have been to 12 or so in the last 5 years. But I have to admit, I never paid for a single one, because I was the photographer. I have never attended one as a guest. Yeah, I know what you guys are thinking... wtf.

It seems that most of the guests have a blast at the weddings I have shot. I mean, it's a week long party with all your close friends and family. But when I chat with them and realize how much they've spent to be there, I can't help but feel they got ripped off. A family of four could easily spend $8k for a week in a crap resort that they have no choice to but to stay in. I would NEVER pay that kind of money for a week at an all inclusive. I could never drink or eat my money's worth. One year, I took my family to Hawaii for 1 month and spent under $6k all in. We did A LOT of stuff. I'd way rather do that.

My sister in law is planning a destination wedding for next year and I am worried about how much this is going to cost my family of 4.

That said, selfless plug.. I specialize in destination wedding photographer and have won awards doing it.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by Ruttiger

Wow - anyone who can't afford to go to a destination wedding is a freeloader? If you can't go you obviously don't care about the couple getting married?

I read that post a little differently. I read it to mean that often with a local wedding, you end up having people attend who you may not have seen in years, and are only going for the free food and booze. I have actually overheard people discussing friends' weddings and asking if it was cash or open bar; as that would make or break them going.

For most people that wouldn't be a significant percentage of the attendees. However a destination wedding does eliminate the process of:
- If I invite Joe I have to invite Bob.
- If Bob is going I have to invite Bill.
- Then if I invite Bill I have to invite Sally.

Personally I'm just glad that I'm at a point in my life where friends can say to each other "sorry I'm not inviting you to my wedding; just having a very small wedding."

[Otto-matic]

Originally Posted by ken0042

I read that post a little differently. I read it to mean that often with a local wedding, you end up having people attend who you may not have seen in years, and are only going for the free food and booze. I have actually overheard people discussing friends' weddings and asking if it was cash or open bar; as that would make or break them going.

For most people that wouldn't be a significant percentage of the attendees. However a destination wedding does eliminate the process of:
- If I invite Joe I have to invite Bob.
- If Bob is going I have to invite Bill.
- Then if I invite Bill I have to invite Sally.

Personally I'm just glad that I'm at a point in my life where friends can say to each other "sorry I'm not inviting you to my wedding; just having a very small wedding."

That's how I read it too,

For me - the big draw to destination weddings it having a week long vacation with friends and family. Everyone is relaxed and having a blast aready.