Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[malcolmk14]

Zero tonight. #### this government.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by peter12

fotze, you have anxiety. Seems like pretty bad anxiety. See a doctor, pal. Start going to therapy. Get a referral to a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis. Treatment works.

I have tried, mirtazapine is useless, Ativan is insidious, therapy is worse.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by malcolmk14

Zero tonight. #### this government.

It will be alright. Want to meet up and punch the clouds and scream at babies? I’m here for ya buddy. Kick Danny in the box?

[johnnyrocket03]

Originally Posted by fotze2

It will be alright. Want to meet up and punch the clouds and scream at babies? I’m here for ya buddy. Kick Danny in the box?

Buddy, I just want to put this one thought in your head. I have seen you offer to go for beers with people and to show up for them. Please show up for yourself the way you show up for others. I dont know you but some of your posts (the funny ones) are my favourites and make my day better by laughing at them. CP and the world, in general, are better with Fotze2 in it.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by johnnyrocket03

Buddy, I just want to put this one thought in your head. I have seen you offer to go for beers with people and to show up for them. Please show up for yourself the way you show up for others. I dont know you but some of your posts (the funny ones) are my favourites and make my day better by laughing at them. CP and the world, in general, are better with Fotze2 in it.

I am alright. I probably make it sound worse than it really is. This place at times is my sounding board where I get rightfully checked if I'm wrong. Just had some major life/death stuff happen as of late and seeing the world a little differently. I'm doing more than alright.

I got the best kids, Best friend is back after 15 years abroad building stuff. two great kids and wife.

[MrButtons]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I am alright. I probably make it sound worse than it really is. This place at times is my sounding board where I get rightfully checked if I'm wrong. Just had some major life/death stuff happen as of late and seeing the world a little differently. I'm doing more than alright.

I got the best kids, Best friend is back after 15 years abroad building stuff. two great kids and wife.

Don't discredit yourself my friend. If you're feeling bad, you're feeling bad. As JohnnyRocket said, treat yourself how you treat other people and keep reflecting on what you love, and reach out to those people when ya need it (us included)

[peter12]

I also like Fotze2. I picture him as this funny little 4'11 guy with a statuesque gorgeous blonde Danish wife.

[NinePack]

The ####s. I have said it before. Lost my mom , dad seems one foot out the door. lost one of my dogs. lost my job. now i broke 2 bones in my foot. going in debt just to eat. whatever. this has been the worst year of my life. just going to run up my line of credit till i can walk and find a new job.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by peter12

I also like Fotze2. I picture him as this funny little 4'11 guy with a statuesque gorgeous blonde Danish wife.

5'7 with a statuesque dink.

[skudr248]

Mines pretty damn low. Work has been hell, with unclear expectations and don't really know what I do now after a reorg just occurred months ago. This is after a long period of anxiety with amount of work I had with no support from my leadership to get resourcing to support.

This is definitely the most toxic environment I've ever worked in. I don't do well in uncertainty, and every time I asked before nothing was done so I feel like I've just given up. I can count on two hands how many time's I've talked to my boss in the 13 months I worked here. At this point I am going to get on leave for a while to get my mind right and work on figuring out why I do stupid coping mechanisms when I am all alone (alcohol) and do self destructing behavior which has greatly impacted my relationship with my wife, family, and friends.

I am not sure what the underlying issue may be.. it's really impacted my life for about a decade now, like inadvertently thinking I'm not good enough when alone which leads me to do all these things. I feel like every time I have raised to this others (friends, family) it gets blown off so I really held on internally afterwards for a long time until some kind of blowing up event that leads me to spiral, go on a bender, and it's a cyclical pattern.. I signed up to go talk to a therapist and a psychiatrist to figure out what the hell my issue is and try to figure this out. In all reality, my life is pretty good. Though my mind is fixated as 'not good enough'.. like I'm always chasing something and not happy with how things are in the present time... ever. It's been this way since forever that I can remember.

If anyone can figure out, I'll be grateful because I hate living life in this continuous pattern and fear my wife won't give me any more chances.

[DownInFlames]

Originally Posted by fotze2

5'7 with a statuesque dink.

Is dink a word of endearment in Denmark?

[peter12]

Originally Posted by DownInFlames

Is dink a word of endearment in Denmark?

Yes, it means "my little button penis." I guess fotze must have a statuesque one.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by peter12

Yes, it means "my little button penis." I guess fotze must have a statuesque one.

Now I have to dm you it.

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by fotze2

Now I have to dm you it.

“Your post is too short”

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by skudr248

Mines pretty damn low. Work has been hell, with unclear expectations and don't really know what I do now after a reorg just occurred months ago. This is after a long period of anxiety with amount of work I had with no support from my leadership to get resourcing to support.

This is definitely the most toxic environment I've ever worked in. I don't do well in uncertainty, and every time I asked before nothing was done so I feel like I've just given up. I can count on two hands how many time's I've talked to my boss in the 13 months I worked here. At this point I am going to get on leave for a while to get my mind right and work on figuring out why I do stupid coping mechanisms when I am all alone (alcohol) and do self destructing behavior which has greatly impacted my relationship with my wife, family, and friends.

I am not sure what the underlying issue may be.. it's really impacted my life for about a decade now, like inadvertently thinking I'm not good enough when alone which leads me to do all these things. I feel like every time I have raised to this others (friends, family) it gets blown off so I really held on internally afterwards for a long time until some kind of blowing up event that leads me to spiral, go on a bender, and it's a cyclical pattern.. I signed up to go talk to a therapist and a psychiatrist to figure out what the hell my issue is and try to figure this out. In all reality, my life is pretty good. Though my mind is fixated as 'not good enough'.. like I'm always chasing something and not happy with how things are in the present time... ever. It's been this way since forever that I can remember.

If anyone can figure out, I'll be grateful because I hate living life in this continuous pattern and fear my wife won't give me any more chances.

The simplest practical answer is you don't get to drink anymore at all, ever.

We have a tendency to see having an alcohol problem as someone that has to drink every day and gets the shakes if they don't, a wino living on skid row essentially, that is neither true nor even the most common issue, if you only drink once a year but every time you do you end up in jail for plowing your car into a house, pissing all over the carpet and beating up a vicar then you have a drinking problem and you should quit, alcohol issues aren't about a compulsion to drink, they are about the mess the effects of drinking have on your life no matter how rarely you drink.

In your case my guess would be you can't predict which couple of drinks just leads to a pleasant buzz and a nice night watching hockey at the bar with your friends and which night starts like that and end in you demolition the china as you trip into the dinning room table and then fall asleep on the floor, because it's unpredictable you need to just not drink, that gives you control

It won't deal with the underlying issue but it will make it your marriage better, it will probably reduce the affects of the underlying issue, it won't make you 'better' but if you are not doing things that make you feel 'worse' that's a huge step up anyway

I would start with quitting the booze wholly, as I always say to my kids if the prospect of never drinking again frightens you then that's a huge sign you should never drink again

[skudr248]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

The simplest practical answer is you don't get to drink anymore at all, ever.

We have a tendency to see having an alcohol problem as someone that has to drink every day and gets the shakes if they don't, a wino living on skid row essentially, that is neither true nor even the most common issue, if you only drink once a year but every time you do you end up in jail for plowing your car into a house, pissing all over the carpet and beating up a vicar then you have a drinking problem and you should quit, alcohol issues aren't about a compulsion to drink, they are about the mess the effects of drinking have on your life no matter how rarely you drink.

In your case my guess would be you can't predict which couple of drinks just leads to a pleasant buzz and a nice night watching hockey at the bar with your friends and which night starts like that and end in you demolition the china as you trip into the dinning room table and then fall asleep on the floor, because it's unpredictable you need to just not drink, that gives you control

It won't deal with the underlying issue but it will make it your marriage better, it will probably reduce the affects of the underlying issue, it won't make you 'better' but if you are not doing things that make you feel 'worse' that's a huge step up anyway

I would start with quitting the booze wholly, as I always say to my kids if the prospect of never drinking again frightens you then that's a huge sign you should never drink again

You're right, and I know that deep down but it's like accepting the fact that I can't for the entirety of my life is some deep routed issue that I have (which probably has some correlation to the things I wrote above, with me thinking why can't I have that if others can). I haven't been able to figure that out before, and break free from that, which I desperately want to. It's like I hold onto the good time's I had, and not being able to accept my new reality because it's not something I can control.

I was doing actually pretty well for 8 months prior to August, didn't drink at all, no desire to, and never had an issue saying no when people asked me if I wanted anything. I used running as my coping mechanism for stressors this year (highly recommend). Then the work reorg, toxicity at work, burn out, trying to go through IVF, an injury to my leg, all why feeling alone in it all made me snowball in August. Things got better for some time, and this past weekend was another episode where it all came to a blowing point and the wheels fell off.

As I even type this, my head is screaming to go to talk therapy and make it a point to talk to a therapist through these things so I don't continue to 'bottle it up' within me until the inevitable tipping point. Alas, first appointment is Nov 4th, and I'm dedicated work through all they complex issues. I need to make it a point to talk to others that will hear me out as well, so I really appreciate the folks that reached out via DM's. I may take you up on those requests to talk through things. Great community we have here.

I'll end it with this - One hard thing to swallow is my wife and her family here, everybody walks on egg shells around me like I am going to go on a full ripper if there is alcohol nearby, which really isn't the case. It's hard for me to communicate that and I don't think they really understand that and I did try before. It makes me feel really alone because I go into self preservation mode around them and don't really feel myself, which is followed by going into self isolation, and the cycle eventually rears its head again when all the other stressors reach a boiling point. That's another thing I need to figure out and how I can work through the challenges of restoring those relationships rather than my usual 'avoiding it' or 'running away' methods. I can't do that anymore in my life...

Thanks for all that listened and read through this all.

[undercoverbrother]

I dislike this time of year

The days leading up to Nov 11 fill me with all sorts of conflicting feelings.

I am talking at a school Nov 6 and haven't brought myself to put pen to paper.

I shouldn't have agreed to it.

Phuck you UCB

[peter12]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

I dislike this time of year

The days leading up to Nov 11 fill me with all sorts of conflicting feelings.

I am talking at a school Nov 6 and haven't brought myself to put pen to paper.

I shouldn't have agreed to it.

Phuck you UCB

You're doing the right thing, pal. Keep the fire alive for the future.

[Lubicon]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

I dislike this time of year

The days leading up to Nov 11 fill me with all sorts of conflicting feelings.

I am talking at a school Nov 6 and haven't brought myself to put pen to paper.

I shouldn't have agreed to it.

Phuck you UCB

Good on you UCB. Thanks for doing that.