Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by fotze2

Rumination is at about 3:30 am every single day and none of those things help. Turning the frown upside down does nothing.

For the record, I’d never suggest anything like that in response to something like this.

[PepsiFree]

It’s also not one of those things that just magically started working the first time or however many times I tried it.

Eventually, slowly, it started working. And then it started working better. And then it becomes an actual tool.

You already feel a bit crazy so talking to yourself or imagining talking to your brain is really not much of a leap (from my own perspective).

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

It’s also not one of those things that just magically started working the first time or however many times I tried it.

Eventually, slowly, it started working. And then it started working better. And then it becomes an actual tool.

You already feel a bit crazy so talking to yourself or imagining talking to your brain is really not much of a leap (from my own perspective).

Is it something you say out loud or is it your internal monologue?

[fotze2]

I think its best to just accept that waking up at 3:30 am and ruminating for 3 hours about what has been and how it is going to be is best.

In other news, the word spooktacular is really ramping up and it is pissing me off to no end.

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I think its best to just accept that waking up at 3:30 am and ruminating for 3 hours about what has been and how it is going to be is best.

In other news, the word spooktacular is really ramping up and it is pissing me off to no end.

Nah man, that isn’t sustainable and you deserve more peace in your brain. There are lots of avenues to take and tools to use and they all take time. But I’d encourage you to put in the time, cause there is a better place to be mentally.

This is coming from someone who was way down there in a deep rut for a long scary time… and things aren’t like “amazing” for me, but they are significantly better.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

Is it something you say out loud or is it your internal monologue?

At the start it sometimes helped to verbalize it (more like muttering it to yourself) because it felt a bit more like I wasn’t just offering a competing thought but the “real” me was in control when the competing thought wasn’t enough. The period of having to do that was pretty short in the grand scheme of things.

Now it’s barely even internal monologue. The negative stuff is more like an occasional heckling from someone at the back of the crowd when you’re in the middle of thinking. It’s there, but I don’t necessarily “hear” the negative unless I pause and give it focus. And if I do it’s easy to shut down or make like of, I can joke about it and give it time and still feel in control.

It’s a dumb example but I can joke about killing myself over something stupid and it’s just a bad taste joke. When I was a teenager that joke would’ve been followed with “well… maybe…”

[MrButtons]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

At the start it sometimes helped to verbalize it (more like muttering it to yourself) because it felt a bit more like I wasn’t just offering a competing thought but the “real” me was in control when the competing thought wasn’t enough. The period of having to do that was pretty short in the grand scheme of things.

Now it’s barely even internal monologue. The negative stuff is more like an occasional heckling from someone at the back of the crowd when you’re in the middle of thinking. It’s there, but I don’t necessarily “hear” the negative unless I pause and give it focus. And if I do it’s easy to shut down or make like of, I can joke about it and give it time and still feel in control.

It’s a dumb example but I can joke about killing myself over something stupid and it’s just a bad taste joke. When I was a teenager that joke would’ve been followed with “well… maybe…”

Agreed - whenever I say something so clearly bonkers, I almost laugh at myself. I treat it like a joke. Sometimes you can't choose to have those negative thoughts, they just pop into your head, but you can choose to give them weight.

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by MrButtons

Agreed - whenever I say something so clearly bonkers, I almost laugh at myself. I treat it like a joke. Sometimes you can't choose to have those negative thoughts, they just pop into your head, but you can choose to give them weight.

Man, I’m good at controlling my own internal monologue these days and like Pepsi said, it’s way better than in my early 20s. I deal with intrusive thoughts a lot more than I’d like, however. I think everyone deals with them to some extent, but it’s pretty crappy having them on a regular basis. If there was a pill to make them go away I’d be all over that in a second, that would de clutter so much of my brain I’d feel 10lbs lighter.

I’m actually in a really good place mentally and physically otherwise, but intrusive thoughts suck.

[WideReceiver]

My mental health, normally very high, is bottoming again. I’m watching the U.S. descend into $h1t and it’s taking the world with it. I fear for the future of my kids and grandkids.

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

Man, I’m good at controlling my own internal monologue these days and like Pepsi said, it’s way better than in my early 20s. I deal with intrusive thoughts a lot more than I’d like, however. I think everyone deals with them to some extent, but it’s pretty crappy having them on a regular basis. If there was a pill to make them go away I’d be all over that in a second, that would de clutter so much of my brain I’d feel 10lbs lighter.

I’m actually in a really good place mentally and physically otherwise, but intrusive thoughts suck.

You know there is very possibly a pill for just that thing. Anecdotally, when the right prescription is taken in the right dose all the 'noise' goes away. I am not there yet but have gone from an 8 to a 2-3 on average. Talk to your doctor.

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by WideReceiver

My mental health, normally very high, is bottoming again. I’m watching the U.S. descend into $h1t and it’s taking the world with it. I fear for the future of my kids and grandkids.

Yep. Me too. I am an avid late-night talk show watcher. Recently, I decided there is nothing I can do about it, and there is no point letting the orange cheeto ####face piss directly into my brain. I think it has helped so far, but we will see if I can keep it up.

[MrButtons]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

Man, I’m good at controlling my own internal monologue these days and like Pepsi said, it’s way better than in my early 20s. I deal with intrusive thoughts a lot more than I’d like, however. I think everyone deals with them to some extent, but it’s pretty crappy having them on a regular basis. If there was a pill to make them go away I’d be all over that in a second, that would de clutter so much of my brain I’d feel 10lbs lighter.

I’m actually in a really good place mentally and physically otherwise, but intrusive thoughts suck.

No pill will ever make it go away, but I find they give me the power to be able to push them away.

[fotze2]

In my office with the door shut freaking out/crying. Just in a meeting with some partners who drilled a well as operators, talking about how to optimize and tie-in. I'm new here so not much background going in. Introductions and all that going in. bla bla. yap a bit about the new well.

After the meeting the one guy says he says "I can't believe you just walked by me without saying hello, saw on linkedin you moved here" He said my name like a celebrity for some reason. The head guy greeted me and said we worked together in the past at another company.

I have zero recollection of both of them. I chuckled and then went to my office and am crying. Do I have dementia? Is it the dying a few times in december deleted some hard drive I had going.

It's absolutely terrifying. My memory has lost some things, hope its just some memories and not a structural issue. Freaking out.

[habernac]

When you work a long time, it isn’t uncommon to forget old coworkers. Especially if it’s someone you didn’t hang out with regularly. I’ve had people come up to me multiple times, call me by name. Absolutely zero recollection of them. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

[CroFlames]

Absolutely normal to forget coworkers. You are at work - not at your friend's house having a great time. The years go by and you forget about people you didn't have a personal connection with.

[MrButtons]

Yep be kind to yourself, I dont even remember the names of people who introduced themselves to me 10 seconds ago. Not that it sounds like they gave you sass, but if anyone does just say "well if you were more memorable I probably wouldn't have forgotten"

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by fotze2

In my office with the door shut freaking out/crying. Just in a meeting with some partners who drilled a well as operators, talking about how to optimize and tie-in. I'm new here so not much background going in. Introductions and all that going in. bla bla. yap a bit about the new well.

After the meeting the one guy says he says "I can't believe you just walked by me without saying hello, saw on linkedin you moved here" He said my name like a celebrity for some reason. The head guy greeted me and said we worked together in the past at another company.

I have zero recollection of both of them. I chuckled and then went to my office and am crying. Do I have dementia? Is it the dying a few times in december deleted some hard drive I had going.

It's absolutely terrifying. My memory has lost some things, hope its just some memories and not a structural issue. Freaking out.

Dude, you sound very overwhelmed. You (more than likely) don’t have dementia, your brain is probably in overload and flight/fight mode. Obviously I don’t know the detail you already went through, so maybe it’s part of it. But what you are describing also aligns with my experience with anxiety overload. You need to carve out more time for yourself, and should start talking to a professional. Those two things are very easy to kick down the road or “not have time for”. But it’s literally to make time for your own well being. Take care of yourself, you’re worth it.

[photon]

Just two days ago someone came to my desk and asked me about some stuff and I had to tell him I would send him a message with the account name he needed to use.. then I had to ask someone around me who the heck he was even though I've talked to him face to face like a dozen times the past year.

Good chance I'd never remember anyone from years ago.

I agree with Scroopy, normally we have all kinds of mental energy to cope with stuff like that and it kind of bugs us but we can move on. But when you're running at 99% capacity of anxiety (or whatever) all day the smallest thing causes us to bounce against the rev limiter. Which usually triggers more anxiety because why are we like this, the spiral goes around.

When I was like that (though less with anxiety and more with depression) the only thing that helped was getting help.

My son has been trying to deal with anxiety; he's been getting some help and doing some different things which seems to have been helping him some.

[peter12]

fotze, you have anxiety. Seems like pretty bad anxiety. See a doctor, pal. Start going to therapy. Get a referral to a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis. Treatment works.

[Torture]

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