How do I get out of the "Friend Zone?" Help!!! - Page 4 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

CaptainCrunch · 12-19-2007, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flamescupbound!

The story almost always ends up the same way when 2 friends sleep together.

You get that initial awkward phase for a little while, then you slowly drift apart, till one day you notice that you haven't talked to her for months.

Seems to happen every time. Good luck man!

Then the next conversation is the awkward one with the lawyer when you decide on visitation rights for the kid.

HelloHockeyFans · 12-19-2007, 04:31 PM

In general, here's what I think - Girls know from the minute they meet you which "bucket" you'll end up in... the "Yes" bucket and the "No" bucket. There are exceptions, but it's rare as hell. If you've been cast with a role in the "Yes" bucket, you will never, EVER find yourself in The Friend Zone... which obviously means that any guy in The Friend Zone is SOL. Move on, dirt off your shoulders son!

foofighter15 · 12-19-2007, 04:32 PM

ladies reading this thread........having a good laugh?

return to the red · 12-19-2007, 04:38 PM

well, there really is only one thing to do in this situation.

You need to plan a special evening to make your feelings known, perhaps a nice dinner with some candles, homecooked meal and when the time is right..

pull out your weiner and show her the helicopter

It's how i got my wife

Got Miikka? · 12-19-2007, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Murder her current boyfriend

Hmmm, murdering the fella might be grounds for a lawsuit of some kind. But kicking his ass isn't. Here is my variation on the Costanza "Leave-Behind" move:

Leave something behind at her place, like keys or a fur hat, and then call later and tell her you forgot them/it. On the phone, find out if the boyfriend is there. If he is, tell her you'll be right over to get your stuff. Go over to get it and then kick his ass in front of her. You'll go from BFF to FB like that.

Cowboy89 · 12-19-2007, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

In general, here's what I think - Girls know from the minute they meet you which "bucket" you'll end up in... the "Yes" bucket and the "No" bucket. There are exceptions, but it's rare as hell. If you've been cast with a role in the "Yes" bucket, you will never, EVER find yourself in The Friend Zone... which obviously means that any guy in The Friend Zone is SOL. Move on, dirt off your shoulders son!

Actually I find that those in the "No" bucket don't usually ever end up in the "yes" bucket, but those in the "yes" bucket are only a gaffe away from finding themselves in the "No" bucket.

OILFAN #81 · 12-19-2007, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

In general, here's what I think - Girls know from the minute they meet you which "bucket" you'll end up in... the "Yes" bucket and the "No" bucket. There are exceptions, but it's rare as hell. If you've been cast with a role in the "Yes" bucket, you will never, EVER find yourself in The Friend Zone... which obviously means that any guy in The Friend Zone is SOL. Move on, dirt off your shoulders son!

This is so true. If a girl has interest in you, she wouldn't go to you asking for advice on her current relationship. She would go to another friend on things like that and then when that ended, she's be on you like a fat kid on a smartie. Friend zone is for guys who have a really good friendship with a girl and that's it (these can exist) and that seems to me what you have. If you two are really good friends and she has came to you on everything it's probably going to be hard to get to the relationship level. However, I don't think you can make things awkward if you do tell her how you feel. If you guys are best friends as you suggest, telling her you like her more then a friend isn't such a bad thing. Hearing you are liked is a compliment. If she isn't interested she will tell you the truth and say "I want to remain friends." Worst case scenario she will say she wants to remain friends. That's not so bad because you two seem close and you can never have too many friends. If you are as close as you say, the current friendship won't be "ruined" by telling her you like her.

If it works/best case scenario.........

.

But imo, it seems you've been in the friend zone too long. She would have made a move already if she was interested. But nothing wrong with telling her your true feelings.

Teh_Bandwagoner · 12-19-2007, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Got Miikka?

Leave something behind at her place, like keys or a fur hat, and then call later and tell her you forgot them/it.

Yeah. I'm always prone to leaving my fur hat behind at a girl's place.

I'm of the opinion that if nothing has come up since high school, that you're likely stuck in friend zone for life and any attempt to move from there will result in a kick in the figurative gonads, and possibly literally. Keep the friendship. Move on.

REDVAN · 12-19-2007, 04:48 PM

How can you tell if you were put in the YES pile 4 years ago, even though you think you are in the NO pile?

For example, say a good friend has a boyfriend, can you still be in the eventual YES pile for years, despite being really good friends? Or are you automatically in the NO pile?

HelloHockeyFans · 12-19-2007, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

Worst case scenario she will say she wants to remain friends.

Actually, worse case scenario is this admission completely freaking her out, at which point she decides that hanging out with you is just "too weird" now, meaning not only did you not get a chance to be with her, but you also totally screwed the whole friendship thing.

AND, you can bet her friends will hear about it... and right there you've probably wiped out chances with any of them...

Don't do it foofighter!!!

foofighter15 · 12-19-2007, 04:50 PM

Can't believe no one has said this yet.
Talk to her friends

HelloHockeyFans · 12-19-2007, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by REDVAN

How can you tell if you were put in the YES pile 4 years ago, even though you think you are in the NO pile?

For example, say a good friend has a boyfriend, can you still be in the eventual YES pile for years, despite being really good friends? Or are you automatically in the NO pile?

Guys in the YES pile NEVER get called up at 2AM to "talk" about her stupid ass dickwad of a bf. Guys in the YES pile get called up at 2AM to hang out and get a bite when she leaves the club or catch a movie cuz she can't sleep.

If she does any of the opening up, confiding in, leaning on your shoulder stuff... you're looking into a black hole!!!!

Prototype · 12-19-2007, 04:52 PM

After reading all this... I'm going to suggest not taking advice from an anonymous web forum about hockey. Some of these suggestions have made this married man blush. The bafoonary that goes on here is legendary.

If you're worried about losing the friendship... it's probably not worth it.

CaptainCrunch · 12-19-2007, 04:54 PM

^^^^^

there's an idea, practice by working through her friends.

Possible positives, she hears from her friends that your a good guy that goes like a lumberjack ride at disneyland and decides that she wants to ride space mountain Whhhoooo!!!

Possible negative she hears that your a jerk that uses woman and then slides out the window at night and she doesn't want to be your friend any more because you treated her friends badly

Verdict everyone wins, you don't have to worry about that awkward friends thing. you got lots of sex, you've built up a reputation as a devil may care bad boy with a nifty haircut.

OILFAN #81 · 12-19-2007, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

Actually, worse case scenario is this admission completely freaking her out, at which point she decides that hanging out with you is just "too weird" now, meaning not only did you not get a chance to be with her, but you also totally screwed the whole friendship thing.

AND, you can bet her friends will hear about it... and right there you've probably wiped out chances with any of them...

Don't do it foofighter!!!

If she doesn't want to be friends with you because you told her you liked her, then it wasn't much of a friendship anyways. I'm not suggesting telling her you love the girl or anything. But suggesting to her that you have feelings for her isn't a terrible thing.

At the same time, if the friendship is so important to you that you are fearful she may stop hanging out with you then it is not worth it.

Teh_Bandwagoner · 12-19-2007, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foofighter15

Can't believe no one has said this yet.
Talk to her friends

Ah but friends are prone to giving you the wrong impression. Nothing worse than an "I dunno...maybe" answer. Because I've never been down that route before... lol.

foofighter15 · 12-19-2007, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

Don't do it foofighter!!!

Do what? Press this big shinny red button?

seriously tho what?

J pold · 12-19-2007, 05:02 PM

Start bombing Fings!

HelloHockeyFans · 12-19-2007, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foofighter15

Do what? Press this big shinny red button?

seriously tho what?

Sorry, thought you started the thread... but don't do it any way!

Thunderball · 12-19-2007, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teh_Bandwagoner

Ah but friends are prone to giving you the wrong impression. Nothing worse than an "I dunno...maybe" answer. Because I've never been down that route before... lol.

Exactly... friends either have no idea, know the truth and want to "protect" you, or have an alterior motive which is benefitted by giving you bad information. I too have been burned by that misplaced trust in friends advice.

Essentially, either the signs are there, or they aren't... seeing as you're firmly entrenched in the friend zone... I'd guess they aren't.

Of course, nothing is worse than the signs being out there, being in the yes bucket, and committing a gaffe that knocks you out in the last minute. I've been there too.