Listen Up and Listen Good!

[HelloHockeyFans]

whatever tim, turco sucks!

[Radically Red]

LOL. In the Playoffs yes that is correct. But in the SIm he a top player.

[The Jerk]

Good day all you pretenders and wannabe’s. I have noticed some problems that you should all be aware of.

Rink Rat….First of all let me say that I didn’t say that it was you in that picture now did I? I only gave you “two words” yet you somehow got an entire story out of it. Its one thing to suntan without sun block, but it’s another thing to hang out with a no name hockey player who’s too dumb to use sun block himself!” If I am completely out to lunch here I think I may have just stumbled onto your chronic problem. Do you have a tanning bed addiction? Or shall I say Tanning Beditis?

Oilers, Let me also say that it’s one thing to be on MSN all the time (as you claim anyways)…but if you don’t do anything it doesn’t matter. Do you use MSN just to hear the neat sounds it makes when someone comes online because you sure as hell aren’t using it to trade! Quit living off the coat tails of “Speeds”. Do some work and put your stamp on that team. Rumor has it that you should have won the cup last year if you had the guts to make a couple moves at the deadline. With that group of prospects you could trade a bunch and still be in great shape for 20 years. Don’t be a chicken and get to work!

Hanna Sniper, you need to get moving as well. I don’t know if there is anyone in this league who are more trigger shy than you and your brother Rink Rat. It’s a fantasy sim league. Take a chance it won’t kill you. Unless being trigger shy is a trait that runs in the bloodlines.

Speaking of killing, what is happening in Florida and Pittsburg? Talk about stereotypical dumb Newfies! You guys have given up trying to win? I don’t see either of your pathetic teams making the playoffs now.

DroopyDrew, you’re one cranky SOB aren’t ya? Lighten up!

Hey OLD man! Not you Cheese, I am talking to Axel. What are you going to do when there are 32 decently smart GM’s in the league? Seems like the only time you trade is when you can take advantage of a clueless new GM’s and you still can’t put together a good team that is under 57 years old? The Flames are old and useless just like their GM!

To all the agents out there, I have noticed something. First you sign all players and now you won’t. Make up your minds!!! What kind of agent is indecisive? I have several contacts who are agents and they don’t listen to anyone. Agents are supposed to be ruthless, not pushovers. GM’ you should all be pointing the fingers at the agents for the entire contract problems associated with this league.

Alex Auld, I mean WU, thanks for the e-mail, it was very thoughtful. However, for the benefit of everyone, I would like to publicly say here and now that I am not single so please do not e-mail me asking me for a date and/or personal photo’s.

Hey Lady (on Cheese’s roster page). Give Cheese back his dress. Also, Wu could use that wig so you might want to be a pal and send it over to him.

To end, I would like to leave you with a poem that I wrote:

Pallykins, Cheese, KevinGuy and Looooob,
Leave Kevin Wu alone cause he’ll always be a nooooob.
Sample, Hanna, notoepic and jam,
The GM’s stink and The Jerk is the Man!
Thunderball, RT, Young Guns, and Rat,
I’m bustin’ out rhymes that are off this map.
Mjk, Angelino, Jiri Hrdina and Beerfund,
Don’t the Newfie’s like to partake in “Rear Fun”?
Preds, Sylvanfan, WU and Flambers,
I would be nice but I ain’t got any manners.
Radically red, Noops, c-moore score and Goffie,
Cheese is a very old man and nothing but a softy.
Prottotype, TaejeonGuy, Saskatoon and Droopydrew,
St. Louis Blues don’t trade either, he must have the flu.
Nyrcrisfer, Mango, Hesla and Flickered Flame,
I would burn KevinGuy some more but he’s just too lame.
Alas this poem is nearing its end,
You all suck and I’ll never be your friend.
To all those who have slid past the wrath of me,
Don’t you worry because you will all soon see.
The Jerk tells it like it is and it will never stop,
Keep trading and getting better or this league will flop!

Best Wishes,
The Jerk.

[CMPunk]

*yawn*

[Sample00]

Originally Posted by The Jerk

Hey OLD man! Not you Cheese, I am talking to Axel. What are you going to do when there are 32 decently smart GM’s in the league? Seems like the only time you trade is when you can take advantage of a clueless new GM’s and you still can’t put together a good team that is under 57 years old? The Flames are old and useless just like their GM!

Hey dumbass, me thinks you better have another look at the "old" Flames!
or are you blind and stupid?

[notoepik]

I have to admit that I didn't know that was Phaneuf in Ratty's pic. It was the very GAY hat that threw me off.

But even I could tell Axel has gotten his team injected with a shot of youth. For better or worse.

Jerk Man, stick with your day job, your poetry isn't going to win any prizes.

[Hanna Sniper]

Hanna Sniper, you need to get moving as well. I don’t know if there is anyone in this league who are more trigger shy than you and your brother Rink Rat. It’s a fantasy sim league. Take a chance it won’t kill you. Unless being trigger shy is a trait that runs in the bloodlines.

This is one thing I do hate about the internet, a fool says something then all of a sudden it must be true…

It sucks that the league doesn’t step in and stop it’s GM’s from being slandered but since we do have a great group of GM’s I’ll at least give the real facts to this... Since this time last season the only players that are still on my team are

Todd Harvey
Stephane Yelle
Sean Hill
David Aebischer

So I really must apologize to the league and it’s Commissioners for hording all the talent, and notice all my high end player were both traded and acquired. Steve Thomas, Patrice Brisebois, Jason Blakee, Brad Brown will all leave my team to UFA on league wishes.

It's just too bad you didn't put this much time in while you were still here?

[JiriHrdina]

Originally Posted by notoepik

I have to admit that I didn't know that was Phaneuf in Ratty's pic. It was the very GAY hat that threw me off.

Truth be told my thought always was "Man Steve looks a lot like Dion Phaneuf".

Never occured to me it was actually Phaneuf.

[Hanna Sniper]

Oh and Jerk, you can catch me most nights on MSN, I'll be happy to hear from you, don't worry you're still behind a computer screen so you can at least have a backbone for that

[MJK]

Is anyone else surprised that this idiot is posting here and doesn't have a huge record deal? Those "rhymes" are down right hip dude!

[Sample00]

Originally Posted by MJK

Is anyone else surprised that this idiot is posting here and doesn't have a huge record deal? Those "rhymes" are down right hip dude!

"Rubbish,
I wanted apple pie and I got apple pie with a gallon of cream. Btw, is Paula around, I need another lip lock"

[MJK]

Is it possible that the jerk has finally gone away? Or maybe he's just scared to post.

Come on Syl...step it up!

[Sylvanfan]

Dont insult The Jerk, he's much smarter than I am. Isn't that right Cheese?

[Goffie]

Syl, about time you grew up and made another post! I am ready for another laugh here.

[KevanGuy]

I think he's Axel.

[Goffie]

It is Axel

[Angelino]

Originally Posted by Goffie

he might be axel but i am gay

Truly disgusting.....

[HelloHockeyFans]

Stop Goffie... stop....

[The Jerk]

Thought I was gone didn’t you? I was out of the county covering the Stanley Cup finals in Carolina. A good game 7 although I must admit the wrong team won…

So I have been checking up on your little fake league here and once again there is a bunch of stuff that has annoyed me.

What’s up in Anaheim anyways? Everyone watch out or he’ll make a claim on all your wives/girlfriends/boyfriends…or in Sylvanfan’s case, a transvestite. The ducks just keep making claims on everything in site in the hopes that it will make that team better…larf! After what he did to that team, it will take eons to rebuild.

Apparently there is lots of hype surrounding the Montreal Canadiens and the potential for them to go all the way. The do have a decent team but it isn’t half as good as Nashville or the Oilers.

I have picked on the Oilers quite a bit in my previous posts and it is apparent he can’t take some criticism, so maybe I’ll just stay away from him this time, I wouldn’t want the old man to have a heart attack. The predators on the other hand have a good team but the GM is too annoying. He trades a lot but doesn’t really have a clue. He needs to get some trading lessons from some of the other GM’s if he is to stick around in the CPHL. According to recent history, GM’s have been fired for making bad trades on a consistent basis. Let this be a lesson to you, get advice before you trade or you might as well pack your bags and take a hike.

What the hell is going on in Chicago…is there any other player you can trade and then get back again. What kind of GM does that anyway? I completely understand why those cheap agents would rather not sign and then deal with Becky anymore.

The Hurricanes have finally come out of their shell and the GM has made a few trades. Ovechkin leaves town! He goes to the Panthers who ships him out ASAP…got a good return in Staal and depth BUT he traded Ovechkin after all! Dumb move if he doesn’t win the cup. Dumb move by a dumb GM….that sounds more accurate.

What is Mr. Cheese doing in Atlanta anyways? He thinks he is so good that he can just trade away all of his best talent and still be competitive? The sad part is that his team is still better than half of them out there. Some teams are just horrible. Want me to mention specific teams? Sure I will…Sharks, Nordiques, Stars, Jets, come to mind right off the bat. Sure those teams have mad some changes but more need to come if they want to b competitive.

Now, on to Eklunde. What are you trying to prove anyway? Are you trying to be the good guy here that everyone will like? Well let me tell you one thing, you don’t want to be liked by these losers. You start liking them and you will soon discover that your life is even worse! I have checked out your “blog” and have discovered that you really don’t have any idea what you are talking about. It is also not hard to figure out that you are indeed a current CPHL’r because of this so called “inside scoop” that you think you have.


In closing I would like to say that I have done some digging around and discovered a few things. Axel is still old. Cheese is also still very old. KevinGuy is a nerd. Goffie likes fish. notepic treats her players very badly. Jirihrdina is Eklunde. Supperfraggle is cool. Pallykins likes transvestites….wait a minute so does Sylvanfan. Looooob is a phantom GM. Trotta will be trying out for Top Gun II. Mjk123 doesn’t know how to ride a snowmobile. Angelino aint a playboy, he likes to play with boys. Beerfund could have a good team but he isn’t a very good gm. Schum is bum who likes himself a ton. Wu still looks like Auld. Flambers and radically red, you guys are old too. Noops thinks his team is good but it really is crap. C-moore, is he even alive? Protto is on the bad team list. Oilboy is new and the Oilers lost in game 7 of the Stanley cup finals…ouch. Droopydrew has a nice hat. Ovechkin will never leave St. louis now because the gm there is terrified to trade.

That’s all for today.

[RT14]

YAAAAAYY!! The Jerk is back. More LMAO.

Originally Posted by The Jerk

Sharks, Nordiques, Stars, Jets, come to mind right off the bat. Sure those teams have mad some changes but more need to come if they want to b competitive.

Really? More need to come? I had no idea. I figured I was all done and was a cup contender already! Whew, good thing you're here to let me know what needs to be done. Maybe we should call you "The Helpful Jerk".