Oh puckluck2 you'll get up in the middle of the night to deal with a crying kid. If not I don't think you'll have to worry about a crying kid for too long as the mother and child will have moved out.
But the worst part is you'd miss out on some of the most memorable times you can ever have with your daughter/son. Yeah I went to work tired numerous times (heck the kids are 7 and 5 and I still do!) but the smile on my wifes face because she actually had a good nights sleep and the memory of giving your child a snuggle while you got them back to sleep or comforted them makes it more than worth it. It's really too bad you are going to miss out on that.
The memories of sons snuggled in my arms calming down is burned in my brain and still brings a smile. The "thanks" I received from my wife is too
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Originally Posted by PsYcNeT
It's also kind of a bizarre presumption that your unmet wife will assumedly earn so little money it would be preferential to have her stay home all day.
It takes a while for those Russian mail order brides to get all their paperwork in order so they can start a lucrative stripping career.
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Oh puckluck2 you'll get up in the middle of the night to deal with a crying kid. If not I don't think you'll have to worry about a crying kid for too long as the mother and child will have moved out.
But the worst part is you'd miss out on some of the most memorable times you can ever have with your daughter/son. Yeah I went to work tired numerous times (heck the kids are 7 and 5 and I still do!) but the smile on my wifes face because she actually had a good nights sleep and the memory of giving your child a snuggle while you got them back to sleep or comforted them makes it more than worth it. It's really too bad you are going to miss out on that.
Yup there are no black and white rules - sometimes you get up because your partner is obviously at a point where they need the sleep more than you do, even if you have to go to work. Similarly if my wife knows I am dead-dog tired and have an important meeting or something, she will make sure she is the one getting up.
If you are reasonable and communicate - it works itself out (most of the time)
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Since the only thing that a guy can do when his baby gets up is to have the kid latch on and start feeding...
Ugh, I know! It sucks so much. It's like, "Honey, can you take this shift because the nipples are getting really sore." You can't call them my nipples, because they are not your nipples anymore and your wife doesn't love on them anymore and you miss that sensual touch. It's hell. Oh, and the pills that you take daily. It's a crazy life, man.
Basically, when sharing or having two bedrooms, you do what makes the two of you the most happy.
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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Originally Posted by puckluck2
Lol at all the perfect men in this thread. Yeah, if I'm the one working which will likely be the case then yeah she'd be the one getting up to take care of the crying child. I've got to be up at 5am and attentive at work so I'm not going to get up in the middle of the night. If she's the one that has a great job that makes more money than me then yeah I'd get up but that isn't likely and saying that's sexist is rubbish, it's just reality, and we won't both be working so the one not working will be getting up in the middle of the night.
Getting up to deal with a crying baby is a shared responsibility. Just because you have a job doesn't mean she has it easy by being a stay at home parent. Like you she needs proper sleep to be a good parent and sleeping whenever the baby sleeps doesn't always allow her to get the rest she needs.
I was actually going to start a thread about this myself.
My problem is that I run very hot and sharing close quarters with the girlfriend heats me up pretty quickly and wakes me up. Because of that, I think I'm subconsciously fighting in my sleep to stay on my side so I'm constantly waking up.
I have a Queen sized bad. Does the King make that much of a difference? Is there a way to cool or heat half of the bed?
Getting up to deal with a crying baby is a shared responsibility. Just because you have a job doesn't mean she has it easy by being a stay at home parent. Like you she needs proper sleep to be a good parent and sleeping whenever the baby sleeps doesn't always allow her to get the rest she needs.
While I understand and agree with what you are saying, if you are staying home to raise a child you sleep when they sleep. Once they have a pattern you'll be fine. It can take months or it can take years, but people adjust. Just like shift work. Helping with the house hold duties is more of a help than getting up in the middle of the night. At least this is what I'm told by family and friends who have gone through this.
When you come home from work you can grab a beer and take the child and give the other parent support for a few hours. Relax with him/her on your shoulder or go for a walk for an hour. Get up an hour earlier before work and take the kid to Starbucks and back. A steady income is important and if your work slides because of lack of sleep from getting up at all hours, then you probably need to keep a schedule for yourself.
I was actually going to start a thread about this myself.
My problem is that I run very hot and sharing close quarters with the girlfriend heats me up pretty quickly and wakes me up. Because of that, I think I'm subconsciously fighting in my sleep to stay on my side so I'm constantly waking up.
I have a Queen sized bad. Does the King make that much of a difference? Is there a way to cool or heat half of the bed?
I had got the exact same problem. I run very hot, and my wife is never warm...so she would spend the night trying to get close to me, which makes me overheat, which makes me move over....and pretty fast I run out of bed in a queen sized bed.
We solved this with a multi-blanket solution. I always sleep either on top of the topmost blanket, or under a single one. She sleeps under 2-5 layers of blankets. She's under them and nice and warm...I'm on top of them all, and nice and cool. This seems to have fixed all the problems, and I've not woken up hanging onto the edge of the bed by the skin of my teeth in some time.
Last edited by WhiteTiger; 08-06-2013 at 07:22 PM.
Honestly when I'm married after the honeymoon period I'd wanna sleep alone especially if we had kids and she had to get up frequently in the middle of the night.
LMAO. The avatar..
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My husband is a loud snorer. I mean, when I bring him home to Canada, my entire family comments on it, and my parents have a very large home. You can hear him pretty much anywhere. He gets very upset if I leave the bed, he's old school- husband and wife sleep together. Earplugs weren't cutting it. So, I now fall asleep to an audible book and basically sleep through the night. I'll roll him on his side a few times but other than that, it doesn't bother me. If I go to the couch or spare room because I can't sleep, he doesn't make a federal case but he'll comment on what time I left and how long I was gone, so I know it must bother him. I sleep more soundly when he's in bed with me opposed to if he's on a business trip.
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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Originally Posted by To Be Quite Honest
While I understand and agree with what you are saying, if you are staying home to raise a child you sleep when they sleep. Once they have a pattern you'll be fine. It can take months or it can take years, but people adjust. Just like shift work. Helping with the house hold duties is more of a help than getting up in the middle of the night. At least this is what I'm told by family and friends who have gone through this.
It's not as simple as you make it. My sister stayed home and raised 2 kids and found it difficult to adapt to thier sleeping schedule. She couldn't always fall asleep when they slept - espcially during the day. Her ex was helpful on weekends as he took care of the kids and allowed her to sleep in.
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When you come home from work you can grab a beer and take the child and give the other parent support for a few hours. Relax with him/her on your shoulder or go for a walk for an hour. Get up an hour earlier before work and take the kid to Starbucks and back. A steady income is important and if your work slides because of lack of sleep from getting up at all hours, then you probably need to keep a schedule for yourself.
All i'm suggesting is that working person recognise when the other is over tired and get up and take care of a crying child.
It's not as simple as you make it. My sister stayed home and raised 2 kids and found it difficult to adapt to thier sleeping schedule. She couldn't always fall asleep when they slept - espcially during the day. Her ex was helpful on weekends as he took care of the kids and allowed her to sleep in.
All i'm suggesting is that working person recognise when the other is over tired and get up and take care of a crying child.
All I'm saying is, "While you're up go and make me a sandwich! ... WITH MAYO THIS TIME!"
We do what we can for our loved ones. If both partners do what they can to make the other happy life tends to workout. It's tough, but so worth it.
Says the single guy... lol
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I was actually going to start a thread about this myself.
My problem is that I run very hot and sharing close quarters with the girlfriend heats me up pretty quickly and wakes me up. Because of that, I think I'm subconsciously fighting in my sleep to stay on my side so I'm constantly waking up.
I have a Queen sized bad. Does the King make that much of a difference? Is there a way to cool or heat half of the bed?
This is my wife and I exactly, except she is the hot one. After a month of being married we got a king sized bed because me touching her for very long would make her heat up.
The king sized bed solved most of the issues, and occasionally a pillow ends up between us, but that's mostly because the hand for my arm that goes under my pillow needs to be raised 3 or 4 inches of the bed for optimal comfort.
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I can't 'snuggle' sleep, I don't know how people fall asleep like that. I get like a damn furnace as it is, never mind with another person.
Yeah. The snuggle starts off with good intentions. For me, it's after about a minute when I can no longer tolerate my own warm breath reflecting back at my face and I start getting uncomfortably warm. Then the process begins of madly flailing my arms and legs to hastily get the blanket off, flipping the pillow over to the cool side, and shuffling over a foot and facing the opposite direction of my wife. Then I can get to sleep.
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We have a king bed a both get a good sleep when we go to bed on time. After a little snuggle time you can role over to your own side.....it's great! I also have a crappy sleep when my wife is away....its weird but true.
