Interesting Gender Assistance Video

[Blaster86]

Originally Posted by Sliver

One more thing on this - If "he/she threatened to kill them if they left...threatened to harm any children, or any family..." it is especially important that the abusee leaves. Are you suggesting they should stay? Sure a person might need help getting away from their abuser and I'm glad that help is available, but for you to suggest leaving is not ultimately the best thing to do is bizarre.

I never said not leaving is the best solution. It's not. I am telling you why these people don't leave and why it's not as black and because they don't know what to do.

You don't get it. You will never get it. You lack the empathy and the foresight to understand why situations like this are A. so serious and B. so hard to escape.

It takes planning, it takes police intervention, it takes proof of abuse. It's not as easy as walk away. It rarely ever is. And sometimes that all seems to hard and too far away from someone who has become some jerk-off's doormat. You don't get that and it's fine. I just hope you never end up in that situation, because I genuinely believe you'd be screwed.

[doozwimp]

Originally Posted by knalus

"did you actually think that was funny? Wow." -jesus

fyp

[Flame Of Liberty]

Originally Posted by missdpuck

There was a couple sitting across the aisle from me on the train the other day. The guy was sitting by the window and the girl was in the aisle seat across. Several people in the area were just chit-chatting; the guy asked how my day was.
The woman cursed him up and down and kicked him repeatedly in the knee as hard as she could.Then she asked him if he was going to hit on me next. I'd never seen anything so brutal from a woman. Talk about feeling uncomfortable. The guy was older and the woman was pretty hot. As the conversation went on they mentioned they'd been together several years. We were at a loss for words.

Well that gets her a free pass

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Blaster86

If it was as easy as, "Just leave them and everything will get better," I'm sure they would.

The thing is...while not "easy", I'd argue that in the vast majority of cases everything does, eventually, get much better.

[Blaster86]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

The thing is...while not "easy", I'd argue that in the vast majority of cases everything does, eventually, get much better.

Obviously, once you get away yeah it does get better. The hard part is getting away and staying away.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Blaster86

I never said not leaving is the best solution. It's not. I am telling you why these people don't leave and why it's not as black and because they don't know what to do.

I agree. And I've said they should get help and that I'm glad the help is available. Here are three examples:

Originally Posted by Sliver

Except it really is that easy, technically. People who stay in abusive realtionships are like people on Hoarders - it must be some sort of mental disorder that keeps them there. I am for helping people with mental disorders, but it is still difficult to understand. That's all I'm saying.

Originally Posted by Sliver

Look I'm in favour of this help being available to people so chillax.

Originally Posted by Sliver

Well, it is frailty/a defect that leads a person to stay with an abuser in many cases. The help available is to help people overcome their own issues that have led them to stay in an abusive relationship. It's good this help is available.

Originally Posted by Blaster86

You don't get it. You will never get it. You lack the empathy and the foresight to understand why situations like this are A. so serious and B. so hard to escape.

I get that it's serious. That's why I think they should leave.

Originally Posted by Blaster86

It takes planning, it takes police intervention, it takes proof of abuse. It's not as easy as walk away. It rarely ever is. And sometimes that all seems to hard and too far away from someone who has become some jerk-off's doormat. You don't get that and it's fine. I just hope you never end up in that situation, because I genuinely believe you'd be screwed.

Oh please, don't act like this could happen to any one of us. Most people wouldn't put up with abuse. And I have also said people should have help transitioning out of a bad relationship.

Originally Posted by Sliver

I'm sure the specifics of each case can vary wildly. Sometimes it would be just a matter of leaving and other times it would be more complicated.

Originally Posted by Sliver

Look I'm in favour of this help being available to people so chillax.

My point is it's hard to understand why people stay in abusive relationships. I can understand seeking help to transition from the abusive relationship into normal life without that person and some protection being available during that time. I don't get when people go back, though. Clearly there is something wrong with you if you go back to somebody that beats the tar our of you and/or your kids.

Originally Posted by Sliver

Well, it is frailty/a defect that leads a person to stay with an abuser in many cases. The help available is to help people overcome their own issues that have led them to stay in an abusive relationship. It's good this help is available.

Anyway, you must not be reading my posts because I think we're basically on the same side of this issue anyway. You'd have to be a nut to not think it is a good thing to help people out of bad relationships.

[Blaster86]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Anyway, you must not be reading my posts because I think we're basically on the same side of this issue anyway. You'd have to be a nut to not think it is a good thing to help people out of bad relationships.

We are definitely on the same side, just how you go about it is too black and white.

[kipperfan]

Originally Posted by Blaster86

A friend of mine was in an abusive relationship. She'd essentially sit around and call him names, mock him, she hit him a couple times and he was too afraid to either hit back or break-up with her since she'd threatened to kill herself if he did at one point.

I do think it is different between men and women, but sometimes a guy does need help in a situation like this simply because they don't know what to do.

Tony Soprano has the anwser for everything.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GCQnTPF4_o

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Blaster86

Obviously, once you get away yeah it does get better. The hard part is getting away and staying away.

But once you do, you realize you have strength, perseverance, and a new and improved perspective on things you didn't have before. Breaking-up blows harder than most things, but the growth that can come from it will most often eventually eclipse the grief and loss.