drunken escapades

[Berger_4_]

Hmm...well last night was my grad party, so needless to say I don't remember a good portion of the evening...I can't remember anything really exciting from then haha.

As for escapades...I tried to drive home this winter when it was really cold (think 40 below) when I shouldn't have, and hit the ditch. Me and my sister decide it'd be a good idea to walk home as we were only a couple miles from home. So off we go, me wearing only a tee-shirt. So we make it maybe a mile down the road, and I'm so cold I can't walk anymore. We get to the nearest house and knock, but nobody's home. So we have to smash their window and reach in to unlock the door (I've got a couple scars on my arm from the glass). We get inside and call my parents who are on their way to look for us, as what was supposed to be a 5 minute drive has turned into an hour long ordeal. The night ends with me going to the hospital being treated for hypothermia and having an IV in my arm...needless to say, I don't drink and drive anymore.

[TheCommodoreAfro]

Going home from Tokyo one morning, got on the train heading back to my place (it was the middle of winter). The only trains running at the time I wanted to head home were the overnight trains that connected Tokyo with the ski slopes near Nagano, but since my station was the second stop (about 15 km away) I boarded the train as it's way cheaper than a Tokyo cab.
Eventually I was woken up by the conductor in the middle of the mountains some 250 km outside of Tokyo. The trains were delayed as there was some kind of snow storm going on, and I wound up finally getting home from my Friday night of drinking Saturday night at 7 o'clock.
All in all, Tokyo isn't the best place to get ridiculously drunk these days. There are a lot of bars who target people on wobbly legs, drag them in and set them up with a hostess and a bottle of champagne. The next month they get a mysterious charge on their credit card for about $300, and the cops here can do nothing about it.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by Save Us Sutter

Another time I woke up in a strange apartment, naked and alone. Very small apartment with no identifying information (pictures, notes, whatever). I had no memory of who's it was or how i got there. I waited for a little bit to see who would show up, but I started to get paranoid so I left. Walked outside and my car is parked out front... with a ticket for illegally parking.

Wow. You win for sure. That sounds like the premise of a horror movie.

I'm an absolute rummy with hundreds of drunken nights-out behind me but I am apparently a really boring drunk. Awful dancing and ill-advised wisecracks are about the wildest my dumb drinking escapades get.

One time I did come perilously close to asking someone to marry me. We were attending a wedding that featured an open bar, a couple clearly destined for divorce and a gratis swank hotel room for us. She would have said yes, there is no doubt about it.

Thankfully when we got back to the room she went to the bathroom and I passed out before I was able to perform my spontaneous and tequila-fueled proposal.

I was severely scolded in the morning for wearing my shoes to bed.

[Save Us Sutter]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Wow. You win for sure. That sounds like the premise of a horror movie.

I'm an absolute rummy with hundreds of drunken nights-out behind me but I am apparently a really boring drunk. Awful dancing and ill-advised wisecracks are about the wildest my dumb drinking escapades get.

One time I did come perilously close to asking someone to marry me. We were attending a wedding that featured an open bar, a couple clearly destined for divorce and a gratis swank hotel room for us. She would have said yes, there is no doubt about it.

Thankfully when we got back to the room she went to the bathroom and I passed out before I was able to perform my spontaneous and tequila-fueled proposal.

I was severely scolded in the morning for wearing my shoes to bed.

Now that I'm reading it back it does sound kinda scary eh? I was more worried about finding out I had an illegitimate kid or something... The most I have managed to learn from that night is some friends told me I left with a girl, and that she drove my car. Not sure why she chose to illegally park in front of her place though!

Along the wedding lines, a few weeks ago at my cousin's engagement party I told my ex's dad that I was in love with his daughter and would someday marry her. He just laughed and said "I haven't talked to her in months". Not sure if that story has gotten back to her yet.

I HATE waking up with my shoes on. Ruins my whole morning.

[Shnabdabber]

I can't tell the whole story, it would take to long, but last years St. Paddy's day was a gooder that involved much more than I can remember and even more that I would like to forget... I wasn't driving, but in reality no one should have been...

- Driving through Galt Gardens park in Lethbridge. From the Studio 54 bar to The New Dynasty Restaurant; clear across the square.

- Losing a 7-11 cheesburger in the parking lot, remembering it 20 minutes later, and cut across a divider and 2 lanes of traffic to get back in parking lot and score said cheeseburger. (Was still warm!)

- Road surfing on pavement by hanging on the cab and mirror of truck while blasting around Henderson Lake doing 90+kmh. Shoes got a little warm.

- Tailgating police for blocks, mirroring their moves. It seemed funny at the time since we had enough incriminating evidence with us to spend at least a night in their barn.

- Shooting fireworks from the truck at anything and everything. And anyone.

- Mowing down pylons and roadblocks whenever the opportunity presented itself, which seemed to be often.

- Crashing a house party that was an odd mix of natives and punk rockers. Met a guy named Nugget who promised his crack was the best in town. Didn't find out.

- Re-enacted the scene from Dazed and Confused with the bowling ball and car window.

So many close calls that night, so many stupid stunts. We really slowed down on the drinking after that night. When this years St. Paddy's day came around myself and the buddies I was with the year before decided to stay home. No way we could top that night and we would die if we tried.

[REDVAN]

Some of you guys are crazy.

The weirdest night I ever had was a couple years back when I was in Canmore, and we did a pub crawl. There was about 30-40 of us, and we walked from bar to bar to bar all night. My buddy and I ran into a girl from Montreal and started speaking French to her, and then to each other for the rest of the night. Next morning we remembered what we'd done, but neither of us actually speaks more than 3 words in French. Pretty hilarious considering we conversed all night in French to each other, or so we thought. My buddy did break into the hotel lobby that night, so it was a little crazy after all.

[onetwo_threefour]

Originally Posted by Save Us Sutter

Now that I'm reading it back it does sound kinda scary eh? I was more worried about finding out I had an illegitimate kid or something... The most I have managed to learn from that night is some friends told me I left with a girl, and that she drove my car. Not sure why she chose to illegally park in front of her place though!

Along the wedding lines, a few weeks ago at my cousin's engagement party I told my ex's dad that I was in love with his daughter and would someday marry her. He just laughed and said "I haven't talked to her in months". Not sure if that story has gotten back to her yet.

I HATE waking up with my shoes on. Ruins my whole morning.

Back to the horror movie premise... are they sure it was a girl!!

[Save Us Sutter]

Originally Posted by onetwo_threefour

Back to the horror movie premise... are they sure it was a girl!!

I knew someone would ask.

There were many jokes made at my expense before they finally gave in and told me I left with a fairly attractive female. I'm not usually the kind of guy who picks up girls at a bar, so this was made into a fairly big deal after the obligatory old man and fat lady jokes.

Edit to add.... and the trans-sexual midget jokes.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by 4X4

I've done plenty of stupid things when sauced but most of the time it is verbal. Saying stupid things that aren't as funny as I think they are...

I can't compete with these stories (thank god!)

This is pretty much me loaded to a T. I think that I am far more entertaining when I'm drunk than I really am. I laugh really hard at all of my lame jokes and say dumb things to basically anyone who has the misfortune of listening.

It doesn't happen often, but its still so embarassing to realise what I said the night before!

[Save Us Sutter]

Originally Posted by fotze

I am not as well, but the one time I actually did (not a bar but a party) I ended up marrying the girl. In fact I have never picked up a girl at a bar in my life and most likely never will.

I used to take pride in being able to say that I had never taken a girl home from the bar. Not the kind of girls I am interested in what so ever. Though I have a feeling, judging from my condition at the time that she took me home... and I doubt got too much satisfaction from the deal... hence leaving me naked and alone in her apartment.

The more I sit here and type the more I can't believe I'm sharing this story on the internet. Yikes. I'm really not an idiot guys, I swear.

[PYroMaNiaC]

Once there was a bus load of army boys waiting at our red light at 1 in the morning.

Once there was a camera and a purple door and a yellow bra in a Boston Pizza in an unnamed location.

Once it was 20 below and there was tequila shots off of a beautiful bald head, and a search for a blue silk blouse in the morning.

Once there was two couple and only....nevermind....that's probably not appropriate for this place.

[Dan02]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

Once there was a bus load of army boys waiting at our red light at 1 in the morning.

Once there was a camera and a purple door and a yellow bra in a Boston Pizza in an unnamed location.

Once it was 20 below and there was tequila shots off of a beautiful bald head, and a search for a blue silk blouse in the morning.

Once there was two couple and only....nevermind....that's probably not appropriate for this place.

worst storyteller... ever..

[4X4]

One fine day about 12 years ago, a bunch of us Grandin kids were hanging around behind the arenas across from Heritage drinking Big Bears. Suddenly, my buddy orders us all into his car and slaps some mud on his license plate.

He then proceeds to drive into the field and through a little league softball game, narrowly avoiding the terrified kid at second base.

Parents chased us across the field and also jumped in their cars and chased us around Haysboro until we lost them. It was funny until I sobered up and realized that just being in that car could have resulted in legal issues and probably a good ass-kicking from some of those angry dads.

How's that for crazy?

[Dan02]

Originally Posted by 4X4

How's that for crazy?

I think that one crossed from crazy to downright stupid.

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by Dan02

worst storyteller... ever..

Okay.

So there's about 6 or 7 of us girls piled in a little ford escort stopped at a red light somewhere in Edmonton. I wasn't driving so I wasn't paying much attention. We're on our way to one of the girls apartment to complete our night of carousing. This big ole bus filled with army boys pulled up beside us. Now, we've all had way too much, and there isn't another car around, so we all leap out, except for the driver, and head over to the bus. By now, the boys are all hanging out the windows, cheering our drunken escapade on. The bus driver isn't letting us on. The boys in the back are getting rowdy and the driver is taking some heat. This carries on for about 3, 4, 5 lights. I don't know. Quite a while. The boys are getting worked up, the driver won't open the doors, us girls are getting further and further carried away. We're trying to get them to follow us, but it's a no go. Ah well. The effort was fun.

First off, before you judge, just know that there is history here and that if we hadn't been a bit crazy, we'd have disappointed him. The owner of the company is in town. He's taking my boss and I out for dinner. He's fun, he's opened the wallet for drinks, and he's got a camera (It had been used for work purposes earlier and we hadn't gone back to the hotel to drop him off). A few drinks later, we get the brainiac idea to give him a little surprise when he gets the photos developed. Yeah. We headed to the bathroom and the next thing you know, there's bras hanging from the purple door and we're snapping off the rest of the roll of film. He's never said a word. Not a smirk. Not a twinkle. Not ever. We have no idea how the pictures even turned out. We've even asked and he just smiled.

It was cold the night of our Christmas party. But wine will warm the coldest heart. I can't tell you how many bottles I polished off, but people just kept pouring me more. At one point, I'm doing tequila shots with lime and salt and everything right from a girlfriends husbands bald head. Our respective spouses just looking on, shaking their heads as we amaze our audience with our antics. I'm not a wine drinker (reminds me of communion) and I've never done tequila in my life until this night. I'm ill-prepared for the devasting effects. So's my husband - who was astounded at my ability to blow his mind in varied ways on the drive home. He still gets a glazed look in his eyes when he teases me about having to go find my blouse the next day.

See...pretty tame.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Dan02

I think that one crossed from crazy to downright stupid.

Ya think?

[Tron_fdc]

I was around one night when a canada post mailbox got stolen and tossed off a 4th floor balcony.

Or wait....that's illegal....no I wasn't.

[CaptainCrunch]

On one of my last days of leave, I ended up at an apartment party and puked off of the 10th story balcony.

Same leave a few days earlier, a bunch of unit buddies and me decided to put on our cammo, paint up our face and do a recon to the school down the street so that our skills stayed sharp. We ended up scaring an elderly couple sitting on their patio when we assaulted their back yard, and ended up hiding under a tree while the police searched the school yard for us.

At a party at the delta bow inn downtown to celebrate our graduation, we gave a T.V. a 5 story flying lesson.

I thought I would impress the girls at a party at fish creek (they were hot), and show them the ever famous fire leap over the flaming bbq pit, but I ended up misjudging the jump, barking my shins on the side and tumbling hands first into the fire.

I got drunk at a relatives house when I was 18, and put on my ultra cool at the time cowboys boots so that we could go to the bar. I took a step onto the grass into a gopher hole and snapped my ankle. I took a swing at an orderly when he decided to cut my boot off at the hospital and found out that they won't give you pain medicine when your drunk, but the act of extending and setting my ankle made me sober in a hurry.

[Sylvanfan]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Two words, drunk tank.

Yeah, I learned the hard way one night that accusing the cops of being a lawless secret society is a bad idea.

Given how drunk I've been in some places on this earth as I have...I'm quite luckey that one night in the Sylvan Lake drunk tank is about the worst consequences I ever suffered.

[J pold]

Yeah my most recent and ridiculous and by far most embarrassing drunken moment was not so long ago, in fact it’s only been two weeks

An old friend who goes too university in the states is back in town for the summer and decides to throw a party for all her old friends she hasn’t seen in awhile

I get there around 10:00 and am already a bit tipsy I make some causal conversation for about an hour this is the last part of the night that I remember the rest is based upon what my friends have told me

So I get up to refill my drink (gin on the rocks with a bit of line juice) and make the mistake of pouring basically a full cup (one of those red beer cups) of straight gin

My friend: “Hey Cody is you scared of gin?” (This is wear things take a serious turn for the worse)

Me: *Chugs full cup of gin, than proceeds grab the beer out of my friends hand and chug it* “Who’s scared now?”

Than for some awful reason I started to ask all of my friends to punch me in the face, most refused so I kept on egging everyone on until one of my friends actually fulfilled my request, problem with this is that he caught right on the bridge of the nose

Everyone in the room could hear the loud pop over the music and when the turned too look at me my nose was sideways on my face, blood spewing everywhere

They plugged my nose up with Kleenex to stop the bleeding than the host of the party took it and snapped back into place, she took me down stairs to lie down and called my girlfriend to come and pick me up

When my girlfriend arrived the host went to get me up from down stairs but I was so inebriated she had to get her boyfriend Jeff Schultz (yes that former Hitmen current Washington Capital Jeff Schultz) too drag me up the stairs

While being dragged up the stairs I started to dry heave so Jeff basically threw me too the top of the stairs so that I would puke on the hardwood and not the carpeted stairs

And oh how I did puke all over the floor, all over myself, and of course the puking lead to more bleeding

So my girlfriend (who doesn’t drink and hates it when I do) is greeted my her boyfriend who is covered head to toe in puke and blood, she tried to drive me too the hospital but it was closed, not knowing what to do she takes me too her house where she gets her Dad to come and drag me (still covered in puke and blood) into her house, oh and did I mention it was his birthday day…yeah real good impression

So I wake up the next morning lying on there living room floor on cut up garbage bags and bucket set me beside me and I don’t remember a thing

I laid there most of the day (which was mothers day) while my GF nursed me back too health…it was just awful