drunken escapades

[dissentowner]

Another one I just remembered when I was a teen I was drinkin at a buddies and I had to whiz very badly but when I got in the bathroom another buddy was huggin the toilet. I decided I would just whiz in the sink and as I was goin my buddy started heaving so I was concerned in my drunken stupor and turned to ask him if he was ok but I turned my whole body instead of just my head, oops.

[Shawnski]

Originally Posted by Montana Moe

...I woke up in the back of my buddies Dodge Durango at about noon, in July, in south Louisiana. 94 degrees with 90+% humidity. Not pleasant....

OK, that reminded me of when we were in Christina Lake in BC. There is a spot up there where you can camp and cliff dive nearby. Long story shortened... someone passed out in the back of a truck similarily. He woke up to sweltering temperatures and covered by hundreds, and hundreds and hundreds of beer cans.

The guy was buried in them (heck, the whole truck bed was overflowing by the time he arose.) The whole camping area had got onboard to pile on their empties! (or not so empty!)

THAT would have been ugly waking up to....

[metallicat]

I rarely drink anymore, and even when I did I was usually pretty tame. A couple of times driving when I shouldn't have been, trying to fight with friends, yelling at people. I'm pretty lucky I didn't get my ass kicked a number of times.

I don't know if my friends neighbors have forgiven me yet though for loudly playing the accoustic guitar for a couple of hours, or if my friends parents have forgiven me for all but wrecking their patio after trying to shove their cat house into their fire pit.

It's not because of my drunken escapades that I don't drink much, it's the hangovers that keep me behaving myself as much as possible.

[Montana Moe]

Originally Posted by jolinar of malkshor

Did your wife find out you were making out with your ex?

Thankfully, no. That was likely my most shameful moment of our marriage, for me anyway. (Most likely she is regualrly embarrassed by me. ) I always have prided myself on being faithful, so that was a shot to the ol' ego.

[JohnnyB]

I don't have so many recently. The most dramatic I had recently was going out for some real hard drinking, losing all memory for a period of about 10 hours or more, and coming to in my bedroom with no idea how or when I got home, but all of my furniture totally smashed to pieces. Wardrobe in pieces on the floor, coat rack snapped in half... even my bed had actually been broken in half. I still have no idea what I did. I'm just glad my Chinese is still good enough to get me home when I'm that hammered.

[wpgflamesfan]

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

I don't have so many recently. The most dramatic I had recently was going out for some real hard drinking, losing all memory for a period of about 10 hours or more, and coming to in my bedroom with no idea how or when I got home, but all of my furniture totally smashed to pieces. Wardrobe in pieces on the floor, coat rack snapped in half... even my bed had actually been broken in half. I still have no idea what I did. I'm just glad my Chinese is still good enough to get me home when I'm that hammered.

how much does it piss you off when you can't remember how you got home. looking back you feel so stupid but so lucky. it happened to me last night and i'm defenitly gonna take er easy for a while now

[habernac]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Besides the requisite drunked brawls, punching a friend out one late night because he was standing between me and a girl that was way out of my league, and then having to apologize the next day. Declaring my love outside of the window of my girlfriends house at three in the morning only to find out that she had gone away for the weekend and her parents were home.

Two words, drunk tank.

five words She was hotter last night.

The 26'er challenge the night before I started school where I ended up falling down a flight of stairs, and getting my stomach pumped.

waking out passed out on my neighbours hammock in the backyard wearing only my underwear.

Going to the bar the night before I had to defend my termpaper in front of three profs instead of spending that night preparing. Then an angry unshaven, hungover CaptainCrunch snapping at a professor "What the hell do you know, you've never had a real job"


There are too many stories and its one reason shy I don't drink anymore.

A friend of mine was doing a martial arts demonstration in the living room at a house party. My back was to him, I turned around to see a fist headed at my face. I proceded to block it and drop him like a bag of dirt. Sorry about that, John.

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by wpgflamesfan

how much does it piss you off when you can't remember how you got home. looking back you feel so stupid but so lucky. it happened to me last night and i'm defenitly gonna take er easy for a while now

It's even worse when you have absolutely no idea how you got home, and then, when you look outside, your car is there. That means I drove home the previous night even though I have no recollection of it.

Thank God I'm still alive after that night

[chid]

Originally Posted by dissentowner

Did you get the wallet and camera back?

nope, my parents just laughed at me and told me to have a great time replacing everything.
Totally deserved, I was beyond messy.. I didn't puke but I sure wasn't pretty

[Spuds_Buckley]

Ahh... so many stories... where to begin? Well, the "best"one is probably the time when I was 24 and ended up hooking up with a 37 year old soccer mom at her place after many drinks at a wind-up party. I then proceeded to dislocate my shoulder as I slipped after jumping over a fence leaving her place to get home. Luckily the alcohol numbed the pain a bit.

[Sainters7]

Got plenty of mine over the years, but one beaut is of my buddy. He woke up one day after a massive bender to discover his ankle was severly broken, to the point where he still has screws in it to this day, five years later. He has no idea how he broke it.

[maidestone]

When I was studying in Tailfingen, in the Wurttemberg district of Germany, I attended a friend's wedding party at a disco named Sir Club. My so-called buddies ganged up on me and insisted I finish four bottles of wine before they would let me out of the place. After polishing off two of the four bottles, I knew I had to escape. I managed to slip through the washrooms window into a backyard with a 10-foot chain link fence. I climbed the fence with an agility I did not know I possessed. The second I dropped down to the pavement on the other side of the fence, a green and white VW police car drove up and stopped beside me. On seeing two black unformed policemen emerging from the patrol car, putting on their caps and holstering their batons, in my intoxicated mind I thought they were the Gestapo and that I had just escaped from a concentratioin camp; and so I turned around frantically, looking for barking Alsatians.

I never spoke more fluent German than I did that night, and so impressed were the two policemen they gave me a lift back to my hostel, in the end.

[foofighter15]

Crispy Griz you are one crazy SOB

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

It's even worse when you have absolutely no idea how you got home, and then, when you look outside, your car is there. That means I drove home the previous night even though I have no recollection of it.

Thank God I'm still alive after that night

You're pathetic, that's just stupid, you should turn yourself into the police immediatly. he he

Yep, had that happen a few times. You feel like punching yourself in the face for being such an idiot. Or the times when you feel like you've sobered up enough, then about half way home you get hit with a second wave of drunkeness.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Dope-AS-Fack

I dont drink much but have some stories

Friends birthday, us running away from what we thought was a gun shot, Friend falls and almost drowns in a puddle

After some whiskey, beating up my friends dad with bats (same guy who almost drowned), I dont drink whiskey anymore

Hooking up with a ex girlfriend I hate, Was so dissapointed with myself

SO basiclly the usual

I've done plenty of stupid things when sauced but most of the time it is verbal. Saying stupid things that aren't as funny as I think they are or hitting on women and thinking I'm making progress when in fact my drunken idiocy is repulsing her...

My buddy on the other hand did about the stupidest thing I've seen a drunk guy do. He climbed up on the fence and attempted a back flip.

He broke both his wrists and had casts on both arms for the whole summer.

[The Fonz]

Jumped a fence at a swimming pool during the night to go skinny dipping. There was myself, and 5 other girls....the ratio does not get any better. Anyway, after jumping the fence I landed on bricks and broke my ankle. I had to go to the hospital the next morning and missed work, and I had to make up some stupid story about jumping off my deck and landing awkardly.


EDIT: I should add that I took my clothes off before climbing the fence, and I was the last one to get over. So as I was free falling onto the bricks, I was completely nude and there was a crowd watching...

...think back to the streaker at the Flames game. Yeah it probably looked something like that.

[I_H8_Crawford]

New Orleans (pre-Katrina) - was there for my 1st time, it was company meetings.
After an all-day flight, and little food I finally arrive to the welcome banquet where all the food is already eaten, so of course, Beer will fill me up! Down a couple brews before we decide to hit Bourbon St...

Now, I have never heard of a Hurricane, nor Hand Grenade, but they seemed like fruity drinks, and I figured they were "girly" drinks without much alcohol - so I was two-fisting them all night long - along with numerous shots purchased in bars along the way.

Now I don't remember all of the night, only have vague recollections - at one point I was smoking a cigar - no idea where I got it from, best guess is I picked it up from the street (gross!). Then while at one bar I did a shot, turned around, and tripped over my drunken feet and started to fall - I was so hammered that I didn't even put my hands out to break my fall, and instead used my face to break the fall... onto a brick floor.

Stand up, people in the bar staring at me "you ok??"
Me: Yeah I'm fine
Person: man, you're bleeding all over!
Me: Nah!

I wipe my hand across my face and it is covered in blood. The bartender grabbed me some ice and a stool. Eventually I was dragged home by a bunch of guys from Mtl, along the way they were helping me with my French... when I woke up the next morning, there was a HUGE bloodstain on the hotel carpet right outside the bathroom, and I had scraped my face real bad... looked like I had herpes actually.

It was a great time.

[4X4]

Ooh. I just remembered something I did while drunk that was pretty dumb. I was at Crack Alley with some friends and made good use of their drink specials. I was too drunk to drive, so I hitched a ride with a friend. He had a little Ford Ranger with a canopy and some cushions in the back for an occasion like this (too many people, not enough seats), so I rode in the back with another buddy.

Driving down McLeod, we were being tailgated by some guy all the way to the Petro Canada at78th ave, where we had to turn to get to my old place. The guy followed us and again followed us when we turned on my street. He also parked behind us when we stopped.

I was pretty sure that there was a fight on the horizon, so I jumped out of the truck and ran up to his window and started yelling at him asking what the problem was. He reached down between the seats and grabbed a gun. I recognized it as a very real looking pellet gun, so I punched out his window and started strangling him. The guy dropped the gun and put his hands up. Meanwhile, the girl in shotgun got out and started beating the back of my head with her purse.

I let go of the guy and stepped back while the guy got out of the car. It was pretty heated for a minute, but after some yelling, I found out that he was dropping her off at the building across the street from my building. It was just a wild coincidence that he followed us for so long.

I felt pretty stupid, naturally. I told him to get the window fixed and that I'd pay for it. Luckily for me, he was pretty gracious about it and after I paid him back, it ended there.

That is what happens when I drink rye. I hardly ever drink it anymore because of instances like that.

[Flashpoint]

I took home a parking meter.

It made for a great April Fools day joke.

[Save Us Sutter]

My brother and I tend to wrestle a lot when we drink together.

One night I guess I kept daring him to punch me in the face... which he did. I stood there, nose bleeding all over the floor saying "now look what you did".

Next morning, my new landlord came over to introduce herself to us. Our other roommate, unaware of the blood all over the kitchen let her in. Not a good first impression.

Another time I woke up in a strange apartment, naked and alone. Very small apartment with no identifying information (pictures, notes, whatever). I had no memory of who's it was or how i got there. I waited for a little bit to see who would show up, but I started to get paranoid so I left. Walked outside and my car is parked out front... with a ticket for illegally parking.

Never did find out who's apartment it was.

I don't drink so much anymore... but man I thought it was fun at the time...

Seemed like after I hit 23 or 24 I started blacking out way too often... scary.. so I've cut back substantially.

edit to add i meant 23 or 24 years old..... not 23 or 24 drinks... hah