another help thread

[4X4]

Don't you think that it might turn into a fist fight? What if religion came up?

edit** or left lane driving...

[flamesfan6]

all but 4x4 invited?

and this thread has probably been the best idea i've had to cope than keep it bottled inside me... i think the main thing is, which is stupid because i knew other people would be in the same boat, is that i just want to make sure im not alone, and that there is still hope.

stupid, i know

[Caged Great]

That sounds like a perfect idea.

Here's a list of upcoming road games (just so those of us burdened with tickets can actually attend )

Thursday Dec 27

Flames Vs Canucks 8 PM

Thursday Jan 3

Flames Vs SJ 8:30 PM

Sat Jan 5 (Not regularly televised)

Flames Vs Kings 8:30 PM

Sun Jan 13

Flames Vs Oilers 6 PM

Tuesday Jan 15

Flames Vs Preds 6 PM

Wednesday Jan 16

Flames Vs Wild 6:30 PM

[flamesfan6]

wow, christmas is poor timing for me for flames games

[Locke]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Don't you think that it might turn into a fist fight? What if religion came up?

edit** or left lane driving...

I was driving in the left lane last night. You have no idea how many inconsiderate s refused to get out my way, couldnt they tell that I was drunk and texting...

Jerks.

Seriously, sports is a great way to meet people, so I second that idea.

Meet people working, someone said a restaurant job, thats a great idea, or an alternative to that is volunteering.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Locke

I was driving in the left lane last night. You have no idea how many inconsiderate s refused to get out my way, couldnt they tell that I was drunk and texting...

Jerks.

I know!!! That's what I've been saying all along...

[Dion]

Originally Posted by flamesfan6

well thanks for the suggestions so far, i get to go home in a few days
hopefully weather in calgary isnt too cold... theres wishful thinking



a lot of time i feel like that too, and I don't know why .. its not like im a jerk, i try to just be a nice guy (nice guys do finish last apparently)

i would have thoughts of .........., multiple and many times, but i would never actually do it, i'd prefer to be alone through life than something stupid, who knows what could happen later

so far best option i guess is to join a club or something like that, just gotta find one that fits me, and hope for best

I forgot to add the volunteer bit. It's something I do a fair amount of. Great way to meet people.

Seniors in nursing or long term care facilities are often lonely. They love when people come to visit them. It's a great way to improve your self esteem plus make a difference in someones life.

I also volunteer with the Special Olympics program. The kids and young adults are some of the most positive people you'll ever meet. It also helps to put ones own life in perspective.

There's always organizations looking for volunteer help.

[Caged Great]

Originally Posted by flamesfan6

wow, christmas is poor timing for me for flames games

Who said this thread was all about you....


Oh, yeah....

[flamesfan6]

Originally Posted by Caged Great

Who said this thread was all about you....


Oh, yeah....

lol, i was talking in general

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by flamesfan6

Since CP seems to be a helpful community...

To get to the point, pretty much my life sucks. I have not been able to fit in anywhere since grade 6, and I'm now in 2nd year university, and pretty much all my friends are "hi, how are you doing?" and nothing more...
I live at residences, and no matter how I try to fit in, or just have a couple friends it never happens.
I eat at the cafeteria alone most of the time, attend classes, talk to some people, once class is over I'm back to my own.
I'm never invited anywhere (since grade 7) and every weekend so far this year has been the same, alone in my dorm room.
I'm not into mass drinking, which is the norm around here, but I have never been invited anywhere and unable to find a group to talk to/hang out with.

Over the past couple of months, it just feels like my life sucks a lot. I have nothing to look forward to... Every day is the same, attend class, study, eat, do my own things (sit around and do nothing, no motivation to do anything) When I graduate? Earn money, live on my own?
These months have taken a toll on me emotionally, considering it’s now the 8th year in a row in which I am really never invited anywhere, or have people to talk to. I have also taken anger on my body a bit and its annoying sitting around, doing nothing because I don’t feel like studying all day, and have no motivation to do anything else (occasional game, but that’s been stopping).

I have previously played many cpu games, and I watch lots of TV, main reason is that it keeps me away from thinking, and keeps my mind busy. But now there's no TV, and go figure, cpu games are losing their effectiveness.

I just want to ask CP on ways to help me improve my situation (in terms of being able to fit in, more friends, etc...). Or at least try changing a negative into something positive, or something. Is hard writing this, and multiple times have not even though I have thought of it. I don’t really know what else to say.

I recommend doing volunteer work. Find a charity or something that requires volunteers, and join. You will meet new and interesting people, and also people who volunteer tend to get respect from others. It also gives you things to talk about with other people - ie., it can make you interesting. It also makes you feel good that you are helping.

[Phanuthier]

Not much I can add that hasn't already been said. If there arn't oppertunities for you to "get out" then make your own oppertunities. They don't have to be grande parties, but simple ones like:

- after a soccer game, just casually ask "anyone wanna go for a drink?"

- in one of your classes where your sitting by someone you (somewhat) know, ask them "this assignment looks tough, you want to work on it together?" then arrange a time to do it (say, Sat afternoon) then after your done, ask them if they wanna grab a bite to eat.

- casual acquitance, ask them if they've seen this movie. If they haven't, ask them if they wanna see it.

etc

You probably arn't invited, not because your a bad person or you stink, but because people don't think of you. From your description, you come across as a very passive person, and while thats not always a bad thing, I can see why you arn't someone that they think of when they get together something. Do or be someone that they'll remember? Yeah, you could try and be someone you're not... your call. I'm just giving my 2c on why you are not invited, and there are hundreads of ways you can change it - change it in a way that you are comfertable with.

As someone also said above, people are attracted to confidence and people are attracted to humour. Again, not telling you to nessasarly change who you are, but these factors in to what you are comfertable with.

Good luck

[Resolute 14]

I can echo much of what everyone is saying, and I can definitely relate, as at 19, I was exactly where you are. The biggest challenge to meeting and hanging out with people is getting involved. I'm working my way through that right now, and it sucks when you don't feel like you are wanted most of the time, but you gotta work through it.

I would echo Dion's comments about seeking counseling. A therapist can help you understand why you feel the way you do, and why things are happening as they are.
I know in my case, my therapist picked up on things that I had not considered. IMO, if one is going to battle their demons, one has to understand them first. A trained professional can help with that.

Good luck man. It certainly sounds like many people here have been down a similar path, so many of us can relate.

[urban1]

Theres was a similar thread a few months ago. Ill search later if i have a moment.

One thing Id add to whats been said in this thread is that individuals in situation like the OP may not necesarily want to become the life of the party. They may just want to find people that they have something in common with. Some people might be happier at a book club get together or a LAN party rather than being in the middle of a frat keg party.

Take time to be who you are or find who you are and what makes you happy.

This thread shows the OP that youre not alone and that even though it may not be easy, you can work through difficult times.

[JiriHrdina]

Consider getting professional help - and I mean that sincerely. Calgary has a number of counselling services that you can access for little or no cost.

[Dion]

"Happiness isn't a state, it's a skill. It's the skill
of knowing how to take what life throws your way and
make the most of it." ~ Gary Null