Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Go Back   Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community > Main Forums > The Off Topic Forum
Register Forum Rules FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-07-2007, 09:20 AM   #41
STeeLy
Franchise Player
 
STeeLy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Exp:
Default

Cabbage doesn't do it for me, however, yams... now those things give me the best ammo all around when it comes to flatulence...
STeeLy is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 09:37 AM   #42
Burninator
Franchise Player
 
Burninator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Exp:
Default

This conversation starts and ends with Taco Bell. It turns the cabin on my car into a bio hazard as I rush home to wreak havoc on a toilet.
Burninator is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 09:43 AM   #43
Oil Stain
Franchise Player
 
Oil Stain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NuclearFart View Post
Alot of it comes down to what we eat, and the specific types of bacterial flora that colonize our colons. Roughly 1/3 of people produce Hydrogen sulfide gas, while another 1/3 produce predominantly methane. Hence the statistic about 1/3 of us being able to ignite our farts is apparently quite plausible.
So one third of people produce toxic H2S gas. Interesting.

What does the other 1/3 produce? Mustard Gas?

Anyway, you should be able to wrangle a day off work out of this if your farts contain H2S. Just buy an H2S tester, switch to a diet of beans and beer.

Then while sitting in your cubicle, let one rip directly into the tester. If it reads 15 parts per million, demand to be released (with pay of course)from the dangerous enviroment.
Oil Stain is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 09:57 AM   #44
STeeLy
Franchise Player
 
STeeLy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oil Stain View Post
So one third of people produce toxic H2S gas. Interesting.

What does the other 1/3 produce? Mustard Gas?

Anyway, you should be able to wrangle a day off work out of this if your farts contain H2S. Just buy an H2S tester, switch to a diet of beans and beer.

Then while sitting in your cubicle, let one rip directly into the tester. If it reads 15 parts per million, demand to be released (with pay of course)from the dangerous enviroment.
Or see if ur fart lights on fire, if u do, u request the rest of the day off from work because of a potential fire hazard...
STeeLy is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 11:37 AM   #45
llama64
First Line Centre
 
llama64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: /dev/null
Exp:
Default

I tend to suffer from some bowel disorder that is yet to be diagnosed (these things apparently take years...). One of the side products (benefits? ) is some truly offensive gas.

Usually you can stand the smell of your own brand. There are some days where I will expend tremendous amounts of energy trying to hold it in because I know that one slip means death for everyone within 50 feet of my current location.

The smell is indescribable. This is mostly due to the melting of your nasal receptors. Beer and high carbohydrate foods are the best triggers for me. Apparently it has to do with the amount of bacteria in your tract. Feed em sugars and they will bloom.

My favorite memory is letting one of these death bombs go on the dance floor in Cowboys. I managed to clear a good section of it too. I was proud.
llama64 is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 11:50 AM   #46
The Fonz
Our Jessica Fletcher
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Exp:
Default

I cupped a hangover fart and threw it in my friends mouth while he was sleeping, then he started smacking and licking his lips. I think he tasted that one
The Fonz is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 01:51 PM   #47
SarichFan
Lifetime Suspension
 
SarichFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Fonz View Post
I cupped a hangover fart and threw it in my friends mouth while he was sleeping, then he started smacking and licking his lips. I think he tasted that one
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww sick
SarichFan is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 02:01 PM   #48
Five-hole
Franchise Player
 
Five-hole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The C-spot
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Torture View Post
I find that the farts I have the morning after a night of drinking are the rankest farts around. That and the first dump after a night of drinking
I like to call 'em the Booze Poos.
Five-hole is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 02:52 PM   #49
troutman
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
 
troutman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Fonz View Post
I cupped a hangover fart and threw it in my friends mouth while he was sleeping, then he started smacking and licking his lips. I think he tasted that one
Worse than the Dutch Oven.
troutman is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 03:17 PM   #50
Sylvanfan
Appealing my suspension
 
Sylvanfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Just outside Enemy Lines
Exp:
Default

Green Peppers combine with Ground beef seems to create a rather large volume of gas inside my instestines that must be released. I must admit that I think someone must have done a study on fart energy and theorized that they have the one amount of energy but each occasion of flatulence distributes the energy differently. Heat, Sound, Aroma...What you eat must affect which energy will be accentuated by the flatulence that will follow.
Sylvanfan is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 03:32 PM   #51
Biff
Franchise Player
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Edmonton
Exp:
Default

Let's not pass by (pun intended) without paying homage to the Egg Fart. A sure-fire (pun intended) recipe: one egg mcmuffin, one sausage mcmuffin with egg, let simmer for 15 minutes. Serve warm fresh from the oven.
Biff is offline  
Old 11-07-2007, 03:36 PM   #52
llama64
First Line Centre
 
llama64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: /dev/null
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff View Post
Let's not pass by (pun intended) without paying homage to the Egg Fart. A sure-fire (pun intended) recipe: one egg mcmuffin, one sausage mcmuffin with egg, let simmer for 15 minutes. Serve warm fresh from the oven.
Related closely to the McFart. Namely:

1 - Eat Big Mac
2 - Leave simmering for 20 minutes
3 - Release in crowded room/hallway
4 - Profit!

My favorite release location is the elevator just before my floor

For best results, eat two Big Macs. Remember to wear a diaper though.
llama64 is offline  
Old 12-12-2009, 09:53 PM   #53
flamesdyehard
P of Red
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
Exp:
Default

Oh man, my gas I have tonight made me think about this thread I created and I just had to bump it. I had Tacotime tonight, and I am producing very well tonight, very well.
flamesdyehard is offline  
Old 12-12-2009, 10:06 PM   #54
doozwimp
Powerplay Quarterback
 
doozwimp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Calgary
Exp:
Default

This conversation begins and ends with teriyaki sauce.
doozwimp is offline  
Old 12-12-2009, 10:07 PM   #55
TheU
Lifetime Suspension
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Calgary Alberta
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlAcKNoVa View Post
Whenever I eat cabbage, that's when I really start farting. I hate waking up the next day after eating cabbage, my room just reeks like you wouldn't believe...

It tastes so good though and cleans you out pretty well too hehe
for me, pizza does the trick. I can clear rooms. It's not even funny "ha ha" your farts are terrible, it's more like "dear god were you eating crap for 12 hours straight?"
TheU is offline  
Old 12-12-2009, 10:18 PM   #56
flamesdyehard
P of Red
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheU View Post
for me, pizza does the trick. I can clear rooms. It's not even funny "ha ha" your farts are terrible, it's more like "dear god were you eating crap for 12 hours straight?"
Is it actually tough to take yourself or can you still enjoy it?
flamesdyehard is offline  
Old 12-12-2009, 10:21 PM   #57
TheU
Lifetime Suspension
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Calgary Alberta
Exp:
Default

no for those ones i honestly feel sickened by myself. thankfully they're rare
TheU is offline  
Old 12-12-2009, 10:32 PM   #58
flamesdyehard
P of Red
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
Exp:
Default

I yet to make a fart of my own that I didn't like... That's an amazing feat my man. My wife on the other hand, she gets pretty mad at me some nights.
flamesdyehard is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to flamesdyehard For This Useful Post:
Old 12-12-2009, 10:37 PM   #59
Guest1
Guest
 
Default

Aspartame. Everytime I'm on a sugar-free diet I get them. But they're more quantity than quality.
 
The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Old 12-12-2009, 10:38 PM   #60
Guest1
Guest
 
Default

I just posted and then read my signature...made me giggle.
 
Closed Thread


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:20 AM.

Calgary Flames
2024-25




Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright Calgarypuck 2021 | See Our Privacy Policy