Best/Funniest Saying Ever.

[HalifaxDrunk]

Originally Posted by MagicallyAdept

"bingo wings" - the fat under the upper arms when overweight people put their hands up.

Damn, that made me laugh! I guarantee my friends will be using that reference by Christmas.


Past tense for toilet humour - Shat.

[Ford Prefect]

She's a tough cow to breed, but we need the calf.

The early worm gets eaten.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

I wouldn't touch that with your penis and my conscience.

You're depriving some village of its idiot.

His family tree is a stump.

His is the first generation in his family to walk upright.

I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time ... I can't remember what I did before.

She is so slow I’ll bet all her kids had to be induced.

[Cowperson]

"I'd never lie to you . . . . unless I really had to."

Love that one. I use it all the time. With sincerity.

Cowperson

[Tron_fdc]

When I was out sledding with a few local Golden rednecks one of them mentioned that he was "shaking like a homo in a wiener factory".

Politically correct? Not really. Funny? You bet.

[albertGQ]

When I leave a room, instead of the usual "lets make like a tree and leaf", I like to say "Lets make like a tampon and leave this bloody hole"

Chix think its sick, but guys usually find it funny

[Cowperson]

In a bar in Brooks a quarter-century ago, I overheard two older women - probably described as cougars in this day and age - describing another woman of the same vintage sitting on the other side of the bar:

"(Boinking) her would be like throwing a hot dog down a back alley."

Pretty funny. Totally out of the blue.

Cowperson

[flamesdyehard]

One of my friends cracked me up when he said he made "knuckle children" in the shower this morning. Or "sewer babies". Sick yes, funny also.

[V]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

When I leave a room, instead of the usual "lets make like a tree and leaf", I like to say "Lets make like a tampon and leave this bloody hole"

Chix think its sick, but guys usually find it funny

I've got a buddy that says "Time to make like a Jewish foreskin".

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

When I leave a room, instead of the usual "lets make like a tree and leaf", I like to say "Lets make like a tampon and leave this bloody hole"

Chix think its sick, but guys usually find it funny

Make like a fetus and head out

[Barnes]

A twist on bumping uglies I always liked was "Smashing ****ers".

Edit: hmmm.... doesnt really make sense with the censoring. Whta to say to not get in trouble?

Think of Fernando PISani.

[Jayems]

More bathroom humour:

"Release a fudge dragon"
"berth a mud monkey"

[Antithesis]

"Off like a prom dress", perfect for leaving a formal dinner party.