Tell a story about that crazy thing you witnessed that one time

[habernac]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I'm actually not amazed at how often that happens in Calgary. for some reason there seems to be a requirement once a week that some dbass doesn't tie a mattress or whatever down properly and launches a air strike at the car behind him.

A friend of mine had a wheelbarrow fall off a truck and land on her hood is she drove 100 on Deerfoot.

I was riding home on the river pathway system a few years back and a toothless crackhead with no pants on walked by. Someone close by yelled to her "PUT ON YOUR PANTS!"

In the same area, I rode past a guy counting an enormous stack of 20's right beside the pathway. Probably could have grabbed $1000 just riding past. Pretty sure it wouldn't have been worth it once I was shot in the back.

Police mountain bike patrols have pretty much put an end to this stuff, I rarely see anything of interest now.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by rohara66

Dude beside me at a Flames game couple years ago blowing projectile vomit completely out of nowhere all over the kids in the row below us. No joke, like 10 gallons of puke sprayed out and doused the kids head to toe. Some yack ricocheted off these poor kids heads and ended up on my pants and some splattered on my Flames jersey.

Was by far the most messed up/disturbing thing I’ve ever seen. Didn’t know what to say or do I was in such shock.

I was in a C-Train and the same thing happened.


Puke everywhere

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

then what happened.

A letter

Dear Penthouse Letters

I never thought I'd be writing you, but I have to talk about my naughty adventure at the airport . . .

[flamesfan1297]

Originally Posted by Dion

I was at a house party in my teens and watched this other kid eat a can of dog food. It was given to him in a bowl as a joke and to the shock of everyone he ate the whole thing.

Same idea: I was at a house party once in my teens where someone dared a guy to drink a bottle of Ketchup for 20$. It was one of the big Costco bottles. He made it about halfway through before throwing up.

Not sure if he ever got the 20$ or not

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by flamesfan1297

Same idea: I was at a house party once in my teens where someone dared a guy to drink a bottle of Ketchup for 20$. It was one of the big Costco bottles. He made it about halfway through before throwing up.

Not sure if he ever got the 20$ or not

We used to do the milk challenge.

Chug a litre of milk, then take a shot of tequilla and then chug another litre of milk.

Something about your body only being able to drink so much milk in one setting, and the tequilla curdling it.

And when you throw up milk its not just projectiling out the mouth.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Why is that crazy? Canned dog food isn't that bad.

Not sure if phrasing, or actually tried canned dog food...

[CaptainCrunch]

actually tried.

Canned Alpo with gravy.

Pretty damn salty.

[Wormius]

Ugh. I am going to have a cringe on my face all day, and nobody will know why.

[shermanator]

In 2011 I was in Houston for training and the managers took us to a dueling piano bar named Dueling Pete's after work one day. One of the groups at the bar was for a birthday party, and there was a couple who were having a little PDA session throughout the night, getting heavier and heavier as the night went on.

During the middle of one song the girl whips out the guy's junk and starts hoovering him in the middle of the piano bar, in plain sight of everyone to see. The piano players noticed, stopped the song, and yelled out "if anyone is getting his dick sucked in this bar, it's me", and refused to play again until they stopped (or finished, whichever one).

The moral of the story is....something something...12 inch pianist.

[Wormius]

Ugh. I am going to have a cringe on my face all day, and nobody will know why.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by shermanator

In 2011 I was in Houston for training and the managers took us to a dueling piano bar named Dueling Pete's after work one day. One of the groups at the bar was for a birthday party, and there was a couple who were having a little PDA session throughout the night, getting heavier and heavier as the night went on.

During the middle of one song the girl whips out the guy's junk and starts hoovering him in the middle of the piano bar, in plain sight of everyone to see. The piano players noticed, stopped the song, and yelled out "if anyone is getting his dick sucked in this bar, it's me", and refused to play again until they stopped (or finished, whichever one).

The moral of the story is....something something...12 inch pianist.

Well don't leave us hanging, what happened? Did he finish or not?

[CliffFletcher]

One afternoon I'm hanging out with my roomates and a couple of their buddies in Fort Smith NWT when we see a shirtless drunk with a huge gut (think 50-year-old bald Randy) stagger across the front lawn listening to a walkman.

He stumbles up the front steps of the house, opens the door, and starts shouting incoherently. One of my roommates, a hyper-active 19 year old, says "check this out," runs the whole length of the house, and drop-kicks the guy through the porch railing and onto the lawn. The drunk, headphones dangling from his neck, lurches to his feet, rips a board off the broken railing, and starts swinging it at my roommate like some kind of dazed ogre.

Everybody is laughing and cheering as my roommate dances around the lumbering fat man, taking kicks at his ass. Eventually the drunk goes down, and my roommate grabs him by the ankle and drags him up and down the gravel road while the guy is still taking swings with the board. After a few minutes the police arrive, throw the drunk in the back, and drive away. We go back to drinking our beer.

Weird stuff like that happened all the time in that town.

[puffnstuff]

Woke up one morning after a house party, wandered into my kitchen and in the sink was a giant weathervane rooster thing. While trying to figure out where I had seen that before, the doorbell rings. It was my neighbour, wanting his rooster back. That was where I had seen it before, on his roof. His words 'one of your idiot friends was on my roof last night, tell them to stop'

[Muffins]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

Well don't leave us hanging, what happened? Did he finish or not?

[Redliner]

The first month I lived in Calgary, I was on the C-train on the way to work downtown at around 5:30 am. This guy gets on at Banff Trail and right away it was clear he was a little different. He had bright orange hair poofed up into this big cartoony flat-top, and he was wearing mirrorized sunglasses and one of those old Sun Ice jackets from the 80s with the collar zipped all the way up. He was listening to death metal cranked up so loud that everyone on the train could hear every word. Anyway he waits until the doors close and the train leaves the station, then stands in the middle of the aisle and yells out "I am ZORCON!! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out this massive handful of pennies, then just whips them down the train as hard as he can. People were getting beaned in the face with pennies and a couple guys started yelling, but everyone just kind of sat there because nobody was sure what this guy was going to do next. After the pennies stopped ricocheting everywhere it was like the guy didn't know what to do. He looked left, then right, then just stepped over to an empty seat and sat down like nothing had every happened. It was totally surreal.

[Regulator75]

Circa 1991/2 Northland mall, I was around 16 / 17 years old.

Was with a buddy and we were leaving the arcade, it was during the day (had a spare or something) and the mall the pretty dead.
Started walking towards the foodcourt, by the old movie theater area. Saw this older woman squatting with her pants down (about 30 feet away from us). She just started to piss on the floor.

The best / worst thing about this, where she squatted the floor sloped downhill towards the foodcourt. The liquid stayed in motion for what seemed like forever. Back then those shiny tiles were brand new.

It just kept going...

[polak]

Originally Posted by Regulator75

Circa 1991/2 Northland mall, I was around 16 / 17 years old.

Was with a buddy and we were leaving the arcade, it was during the day (had a spare or something) and the mall the pretty dead.
Started walking towards the foodcourt, by the old movie theater area. Saw this older woman squatting with her pants down (about 30 feet away from us). She just started to piss on the floor.

The best / worst thing about this, where she squatted the floor sloped downhill towards the foodcourt. The liquid stayed in motion for what seemed like forever. Back then those shiny tiles were brand new.

It just kept going...

I saw a kid take a dump in front of a store right off of Huntington Beach in LA on the 4th of July while there were people every where. I can't remember if the mom cleaned it up or not but it was nasty AF. Go to a bush or something at least. Jesus.

[Mightyfire89]

Originally Posted by Redliner

The first month I lived in Calgary, I was on the C-train on the way to work downtown at around 5:30 am. This guy gets on at Banff Trail and right away it was clear he was a little different. He had bright orange hair poofed up into this big cartoony flat-top, and he was wearing mirrorized sunglasses and one of those old Sun Ice jackets from the 80s with the collar zipped all the way up. He was listening to death metal cranked up so loud that everyone on the train could hear every word. Anyway he waits until the doors close and the train leaves the station, then stands in the middle of the aisle and yells out "I am ZORCON!! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out this massive handful of pennies, then just whips them down the train as hard as he can. People were getting beaned in the face with pennies and a couple guys started yelling, but everyone just kind of sat there because nobody was sure what this guy was going to do next. After the pennies stopped ricocheting everywhere it was like the guy didn't know what to do. He looked left, then right, then just stepped over to an empty seat and sat down like nothing had every happened. It was totally surreal.

Ah yes, my Zorcon days. I don't miss 'em. What you didn't know is that I also had a bag of marbles in my pocket, but I chose the pennies as I was feeling charitable that day.

[sketchyt]

I've seen some fairly graphic things but the craziest thing I've seen is completely G-rated.

Buddy left his wallet on top of the back bumper of his pickup in Black Diamond. Drove all the way to SE Calgary to his house. It was still there. I don't have Jesus in my life, but stuff like that makes me reconsider.

[Matt Reeeeead]

I used to leave my garage unlocked.

In December, there was a night where I was restless and awake. Around 3:30AM I saw the back porch light turn on (when there is movement in the backyard).

Started investigating and heard a noise in the garage.

Opened the door, and two homeless people, completely naked, were screwing. Without announcing my presence, I opened the garage door and I just see these two naked bodies take off.

I now lock my garage door.